Work-based anxiety and procrastination. Is it just me?

[Procrastinatingpenny]

I probably do have some form of neurodivergence but I’m not seeking a diagnosis, just desperately trying to get out of my own way and stop being my own worst enemy!

And, looking for a bit of understanding because I feel like such a failure / fraud / weirdo.

I was a straight A pupil at school. graduated degree with 1st class honours. Got a Masters and PhD. I’m not stupid… in a conventional way… but God Almighty am I stupid when it comes to work.

I procrastinate dreadfully. Not everything, just the hard tasks. I’ve tried all the tricks. But it’s like my brain just goes into freeze. This morning I woke at 4:30am, yes FOUR thirty to get a difficult piece of work (that I should have done yesterday on Friday two weeks ago ) and I lay there in bed thinking about how I was going to get up and do it for four bloody hours until I finally did get up and begin at 8:30 🤯

And here I am now, at the end of another day, and the blasted thing is still unfinished.

I have asked myself so many times why I do this. It’s as though the dreaded task and I are opposite poles of a magnet. It takes SO much effort (actually, it takes distress, not effort) to make contact and the easiest thing in the world to disengage again.

It got worse after I burned out at work six years ago, but if I’m honest it was a problem before then (and completely honestly was part of the reason I burned out).

I’m not afraid of hard work. That is god’s honest truth. I would LOVE to be able to blast through this stupid task. My failure over and over again just compounds the anxiety, the shame, the self-criticism, the guilt… I am CAPABLE of doing it…
And yet here I am… on Mumsnet.

I KNOW I am unreasonable. But does anyone else get this? Is it only me? Argh!

It’s definitely not just you. I coach neurodivergent people with these sorts of issues and it’s not uncommon at all, but is deeply frustrating for them. Working through it with someone can be very useful. Particularly if they are empathetic and can help you break that shame cycle.

I know it’s no help, but I do exactly the same. I wish there was a magic solution.

Thank you for the understanding. Have you ever known anyone actually fix this? I have been trying for 20 years and I am starting to lose hope…

I wish so to. Sending empathy your way. It’s such a rubbish thing, a blight on our lives x

I do this too and I'm so over it. It's definitely got worse as I've got older too. Working from home doesn't help (I'm fairly new to doing this) but I suppose my procrastination was less overt in the physical workplace - I'd chat or make a tea etc.

I really struggle with prioritising tasks - the 'hard' thing will usually get kicked down the road. And I also take AGES to get going in the morning /beginning of the week... My most productive time is Friday afternoon!

Sorry, no solutions... But plenty of empathy and solidarity!

No lol, it’s not just you. The only thing that works for me is the pomodoro method. Which for me breaks down to:
break task down into bullet points
decide how many I can do in 25 mins
put on headphones with music
set timer for 25 mins
work on just that until the timer goes - no emails or messages, no random web checking
take break, check if urgent emails, then repeat as necessary

it’s so ingrained for me now that I can procrastinate all day but as soon as I put my headphones and timer on I can usually knock out whatever I need to pretty much immediately.

I could’ve written this. Friday afternoon is the most productive of the week for me. Do all the enjoyable / easy stuff first. Bury my head with the rest & hope it’s goes away (it doesn’t). No idea how to break the cycle

There’s definitely not a magic wand, but there are strategies that help. Even if you think you’ve tried something before it can be worth another go. But I think having someone who ‘gets it’ and also will hold you accountable can help to get structures embedded and build better habits.

@TremendousThirsthas it spot on - pomodoro technique can be really useful, alongside breaking task down into the smallest possible sub tasks so it’s not just a huge blob of hideousness

I have tried pomodoro previously but I think I will have to try again. I’ve GOT to find a way forward before I get the sack (joking but not really…)

Definitely not just you! I could have written your post (bar the PhD).

The only thing that semi-helps here is extremely detailed to-do lists. I include silly things like check email, make a call or whatever little tasks you can think of that you anyway do routinely in your work day. Ticking things off a list seems to give me a dopamine hit and leaves me wanting to complete more. I still don't finish my full list usually but I get more done than on a normal day... I also can't get myself to do the lists daily, it's more of a fortnightly thing at best, so I'm long way away from cracking the whole productivity malarkey.

I have the same problem. I'm a lot more productive if I'm working in the office or in a public area with people around.

If there's no pressure it ain't getting done quickly 🤷🏼‍♀️

I could have written this post. I thought it was just me, Queen of self sabotage.

You've got ADHD.

Me toooo 🙋🏻‍♀️

I paid for an app subscription which was supposed to teach me to stop procrastinating… of course I never used it.

Have you tried body-doubling? Find someone who doesn’t mind working alongside you whilst you do The Thing, and sit down together at an agreed time to do it. They can work on whatever they want but just having someone sat there can create enough accountability to enable you to get it done.

I struggle with this too, and there's a podcast I find really helpful called The Daily Pep. It's by a neurospicy woman and is aimed at creatives which I am not but I still find it really helpful. It's 2-5 minutes long and basically a really upbeat pep talk. Listening to it daily has really helped shift my mindset so that I can get things done more easily.

While I was at work, I had a solid, unbreakable rule: do the hard thing first. I'd write a list in my desk notebook each night, with the least attractive task first and then an increasingly vague list of other things that needed doing, the afternoon dissolving into chats with my favourite clients or creative brainstorming type stuff.

That said, my creative brainstorming would often stretch into the night. I kind of let myself off for that, as I was paid to have good ideas and enjoyed doing it.

Now in chronically fatigued retirement, I have no system whatsoever and give myself an imaginary medal if I managed to make a decent dinner 😬 I've tried all the timer-related strategies but ... I rebel violently against feeling programmed, so will perform amazing feats of self-deceit to screw it up!

I think it's going to be a matter of experimenting until you find something you can live with. Sympathies!

You and me both. Definitely a fan of to do list especially since I retired! It's easy to think I'll read another chapter then...

With a todo list it's also good to break down the difficult/dull/don't really want to do into smaller steps. For example I'm planning a road trip so its been written as:
Find campsite on route.
Google map to campsite.
Check with aa plannrrthat it's the best route
Print out map
Write bullet points of directions
Check with atlas
Programme sat nav to check again.

I don't trust sat navs alone having been done over too many times...but it's such a ball ache of a job that unless it's broken down it won't get done.

Another tip is to reward yourself. I'll do step one and two, then have a coffee. Step 3 and 4 and i can read a chapter in a book

I also could have written this. I'm on MN when I should be working on a project that's due tomorrow. I can't realistically go to sleep until it's done...and yet here I am. I do wonder if there's some neurodiversity going on. Who knows. I generally wait until I get 'the fear' and then pull it out of the bag. But I guess every time I do it without consequences, it reinforces that it works.

I don't have an answer I'm afraid but I do feel your pain ❤️

For me this has got worse with peri menopause. It’s like all the ADHD symptoms I’ve been masking and working around my whole life (well, I’m only on the waiting list for assessment but these behaviours at least - my son is diagnosed and like so many women…) have all finally become overwhelming in my mid 40s.

I don’t have the answers but I’m the same!

I'm the same. I just CANNOT get started. I put things off until I'm doing them at 2am on the absolute last day I've got to do it. Even then, sometimes I'll cross my fingers and hope no one actually asks for it because I've not finished.
I'll also have multiple things on the go and just go between them until a due date is here and I have no choice.
I'll lay awake thinking about how to structure my report/presentation, what I want to add etc etc but then be in exactly the same position when I get up. I'm constantly writing things in my head but find it incredibly difficult to translate that into actually starting/finishing something
But, when I hit 'the zone' I spend hours perfecting whatever it is I'm working on and will hardly take a breath.
I have not found a method that works for me. The quality of my work is good, timelines mostly adhered to, but getting to the end is hard because the actual beginning is such a hurdle.

Oh, and time means nothing. I can have 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks to do something, anything and it will ALWAYS be a last minute scramble. The struggle is real 😆

That is all very relatable. Though I don’t necessarily put off difficult tasks, more the repetitive, boring but time consuming ones.

Give me a crisis or difficult situation, and I’m all over it immediately. Something that requires little thought but plenty of patience, not so much.

I’ve caused myself a lot of needless stress being this way and have no idea how to fix it.

I feel your pain and definitely recognise the Friday afternoon thing. I am finding Copilot (or whatever AI you can use at work) really helpful to get me started on things I am procrastinating on, I don't necessarily use what it suggests but it gets me over the initial hump.

I am exactly the same (also was very academic and have a PhD too, so hello!). I am currently on Mumsnet rather than doing the work I should be finishing up ...

I am afraid I don't have a solution. More structure seems to help – as do practical things like deleting all social media apps from my phone...