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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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9
NorthXNorthWest · 20/05/2026 13:39

Differentforgirls · 20/05/2026 13:35

I disagree. There but for the grace...

But for the grace of carers, AND the State + tax payers. Actually.

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 20/05/2026 13:42

Bollixtothat · 19/05/2026 18:57

Why would you move into an expensive property in the first place though? Tbh some people just aren’t very clever.

Let me guess, with all your posts on here you are mortgage paid off and so very out of touch with the world that the younger generation are having to cope with.

MidnightMeltdown · 20/05/2026 13:42

It’s interesting how many people take for granted that the state pension and welfare benefits will always be there. Chances are that they will be, but it’s not a certainty, particularly given the way that the UK economy is on a strong downward trajectory.

The state pension is only just over 100 years old. That’s no time at all from a historical perspective. Before that, people without savings were dependent on charity, family members, or worked until they dropped. In many countries today, that’s still the case. It’s not inconceivable that we could be heading back there. When the state pension was created, we had an empire and were one of the strongest economies in the world.

LoyalMember · 20/05/2026 13:46

Scottishmamaagain · 20/05/2026 13:34

It doesn’t surprise me. I started an apprenticeship in my early 20s with a big company, generous pension you contribute 5% and the company contributes 10%. I was in a group of 5 locally who started at the same time, I was the only one who didn’t opt out of the pension.

We will all be turning 30ish now and I wonder if they have started contributing, I imagine it’s much harder to start as well all have more responsibilities now became home owners/ started having kids etc.

I actually upped my contributions to 10% a couple of years ago, if we get a pay rise next year I will look to up it by that percentage again.

Oh, look, it's Dudley Do Right...😆

worriedaboutmyboytoday · 20/05/2026 13:48

On the third of people with DB pensions taking the full amount as soon as they can... Does this include people who had this type of pension for a few years in a particular job, so decide to take the few grand as cash rather than £1.27 a month for the rest of their life?

Differentforgirls · 20/05/2026 13:56

NorthXNorthWest · 20/05/2026 13:39

But for the grace of carers, AND the State + tax payers. Actually.

She was the carer. I'm a tax payer - I have no problem having that grace. I'm retired btw and won't get my state pension for another 5 years. Still pay tax.

BorgQueen · 20/05/2026 14:24

The average size of a DC pension pot taken as cash in one go is under £50k, I don’t know of any figures that state whether it’s a person’s only pot.

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 20/05/2026 15:01

BoredZelda · 19/05/2026 20:05

We are (now) two higher wage earners with a disabled child. We have not always been that way, but have both been paying in to our pensions since we started working. I worked in hotel housekeeping before minimum wage was a thing. I was living away from home and supporting another family member. I had a little disposable income and could have gone out drinking with my mates once a week, instead I did it once a month and paid into my pension. The reason I did this is because I saw my parents, who raised 3 of us on one very low wage, were always able to pay a little into their pensions, and insurance policies they had for us. The guy would come to the door for the money and mum always had it. We’d hide from the bloke who came for the money out of the TV, we’d put up with it when there were no more 50ps for the electricity meter at the end of the week, but that guy always got his money. My parents were adamant that money was the priority and that has always stuck with me.

Not that any of this is relevant to my point, which is based on the statistics available. They make it clear the 45% of people who are not paying into a pension, cannot possibly be entirely made up of people who can’t afford to.

I see your point and I thank you for explaining that your financial choices stem from childhood.
I would describe it as a fear.
I am the same, priority of mortgage and bills so much so that I made every effort I could to pay the mortgage off early.
I do think though that attitudes have changed over the decades, and I blame government policy for the state the country is in. Especially Blair and Brown.

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 20/05/2026 15:36

measuretwicecutonce · 19/05/2026 20:19

its dawned on me, the reason for all the panic is that they are realising that those who could be saving aren’t! Probably because they are working hard, paying shit loads of tax and thinking ‘we’ll live our lives whilst we’re young enough to enjoy it’. Oh and if we have nothing when we retire we’ll be the same as those that never worked/worked very little,

Not rewarding people for doing the right thing is/will come back to bite!

Yes this.

DrRylandGrace · 20/05/2026 15:40

worriedaboutmyboytoday · 20/05/2026 13:48

On the third of people with DB pensions taking the full amount as soon as they can... Does this include people who had this type of pension for a few years in a particular job, so decide to take the few grand as cash rather than £1.27 a month for the rest of their life?

Yes, by far the majority is small funds that had been forgotten about. The long-delayed plans to build a platform to identify all funds in a person’s name and offer a simple way to transfer them together - if beneficial - may reduce this in time.

DrRylandGrace · 20/05/2026 16:00

Katypp · 20/05/2026 11:52

I do find it quite entertaing that pemsioners are criticised on MN just about every day for not paying into a private pension or workplace pension (when neither really existed) yet when the same is suggested to today's workers they bleat about not being able to afford it.
Yet on many threads posters are keen to see state pensions means tested or even abolished altogether (to teach the greedy boomers a lesson that they should have planned better)
I wonder how today's workers will manage when THEY are the pensioners who have not planned?

SIPPs have been available in the UK since 1988. How old are you that you’ve had no opportunity over the last 37 years to use one? To have retired in 1988 at say 60 years old you’d have to be 97 by now. In which case you are excused for not having a private pension fund. Otherwise, it’s a lame excuse. And even before SIPPs were established it was still perfectly possible to invest your money post-tax, just as people still do today in addition to having pensions.

thefloorislavayes · 20/05/2026 16:07

What percentage of people works on 0 hours contracts for less than the minimum wage per hour where travel in between appointments isn't considered work and you they get paid per mileage? The answer - loads

DrRylandGrace · 20/05/2026 16:16

thefloorislavayes · 20/05/2026 16:07

What percentage of people works on 0 hours contracts for less than the minimum wage per hour where travel in between appointments isn't considered work and you they get paid per mileage? The answer - loads

3.4% of the UK population which is employed is employed via zero hour contracts. It’s negligible and certainly not the reason why 45% of people aren’t saving for a pension per the article the OP linked.

This is primarily young people working flexibly around studying (12.5% of 16 to 24 year olds in employment have zero hour contracts) whereas for those in employment who are aged 25 to 64 the percentage is just 2.4%. Most of those are also people who want flexible/ optional work for various reasons (ill health, caring responsibilities etc).

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 20/05/2026 16:26

NorthXNorthWest · 19/05/2026 22:32

Anyway, I figure I saved the taxpayer millions, yes millions of pounds so I won't feel too guilty when I claim my state pension

You haven't saved the state millions, she was your child and your responsibility. The state and, by default, tax payers are doing you a favour.

Are you kidding.
Did you not read because of the child’s disabilities, she could have gone into supported living at 16 thereby costing the government millions.

Papyrophile · 20/05/2026 16:37

@DrRylandGrace the pension industry did an inadequate job of publicising the existence and utility of SIPPS for the first ten or 15 years after they were created. There was little or no marketing spend devoted to raising awareness. I only discovered them because, as a freelance writer specialising in financial services (with previous work experience in pension marketing) I was engaged to revamp all the personal investment literature for one of the largest insurance firms.

When we set ours up in about 2001, it was the first one that the IFA recommended by our accountant had ever done so we learnt our way through it together. Thereafter, the same team did quite a few more, mostly for the owners and directors of small companies who bought the property occupied by their businesses and paid the rent to their own SIPP.

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 20/05/2026 16:42

NorthXNorthWest · 19/05/2026 22:58

There is a gratitude gap we are just not going to be able to agree on.

And praise the Lord you never had to make that choice.

DrRylandGrace · 20/05/2026 16:54

Papyrophile · 20/05/2026 16:37

@DrRylandGrace the pension industry did an inadequate job of publicising the existence and utility of SIPPS for the first ten or 15 years after they were created. There was little or no marketing spend devoted to raising awareness. I only discovered them because, as a freelance writer specialising in financial services (with previous work experience in pension marketing) I was engaged to revamp all the personal investment literature for one of the largest insurance firms.

When we set ours up in about 2001, it was the first one that the IFA recommended by our accountant had ever done so we learnt our way through it together. Thereafter, the same team did quite a few more, mostly for the owners and directors of small companies who bought the property occupied by their businesses and paid the rent to their own SIPP.

Many people may have been unaware of them and not done the required research to find out but that’s not the same as @Katypp ’s claim that they “didn’t really exist”. They have existed for almost 4 decades now.

To be honest it’s a lame excuse regardless because anybody responsible would have saved some of the money earned over their lifetime, in normal investments outside a pension wrapper if they were oblivious to the existence of pensions. Yet the people who makes these types of comments about how it was impossible for them to save a single penny of their lifetime earnings (when their working-aged life coincided with the most prosperous period in recorded history!) are usually the same economic illiterates who start banging on about how young people are lazy (when working aged welfare is still pretty much the same proportion of GDP that it’s been for many decades now and employment participation is at an all time high, as are average working hours…) because they simply refuse to accept that their entitled claims that they should receive far more in state services and welfare than they ever paid are supremely selfish and unsustainable.

It’s classic “whataboutery” to try to displace the blame, even though the national statistics refute their claims entirely. When that’s pointed out usually there’s a 4 Yorkshireman-style skit with their personal anecdotes as if these somehow disprove societal-level data sets. 😏🤔🙄

ThreadGuardDog · 20/05/2026 17:04

NorthXNorthWest · 20/05/2026 13:39

But for the grace of carers, AND the State + tax payers. Actually.

One of whch is this poster. Actually. Carers are tax payers too. You clearly have no fucking idea how much unpaid carers save the state, so why the hostility ?

ObelixtheGaul · 20/05/2026 17:09

I was interested by an article I read a year or so ago, I think it was Martin Lewis. Apparently, there's been a rise in people with private pensions cashing them in early as a lump sum to hand over to their kids to get them on the housing ladder/contribute to uni fees/ whatever is needed, leaving themselves much worse off for their retirement. Naturally, he advised against this.

The increase in people having children at an older age is having an impact on what people do with their pension pots, with more hitting late 50s with teenagers still at home and elderly parents needing care. It's tempting to see that sum of money becoming available as a lifeline for today rather than to keep you tomorrow.

In addition you have people headless-chickening about their children having to pay IHT without thinking about their own needs whilst they are still living.

Katypp · 20/05/2026 17:12

OneShyQuail · 20/05/2026 13:09

And apparently not save £100 a month for a holiday with your children but put it into your pension pot instead.

Some posters assumed ive saved £100 a month for decades for holidays amd blasted me for wanting to take my kids away. Nope, this is the first year I have been able to put money aside for a holiday.

But yeah, I wont take them on holiday, il put £100 into my pension pot for 12 months instead.

Like honestly wtf?!

Oh and the £25 a month i put into their birthday and christmas funds.....apparently £300 on a birthday/christmas (split) is too much money and that should go into my pension too?!

So no Christmas or birthdays for them?

I love rich people telling poor people how to spend their money 🙄

I'm not rich. Our household income is under £60k with two full-time workers.
But i think your attitide pretty much sums up the way lifestyles have crept way beyond what they used to be. And what used to be considered a extra - eg a holiday - is now seen as a basic need.
We are constantly told on here that families are spending every penny and struggling to make ends meet, yet when i walk past a nursery in my very working class area, you can't move for SUVs no more than three years old.
Soft play, play cafes, takeaway coffee shops, ice cream parlours, nail bars, beauticians, tanning shops, vape shops, endless hairdressers, dog grooming shops - someone must be using these places, yet they none of them existed 40 years ago.
So every penny may be being spent - but is driving a car far bigger and newer than really needed, getting a dog groomed, a couple of takeaway coffees a week and a soft play session really more important than a pension?

FernFaery · 20/05/2026 17:13

ThreadGuardDog · 20/05/2026 17:04

One of whch is this poster. Actually. Carers are tax payers too. You clearly have no fucking idea how much unpaid carers save the state, so why the hostility ?

I don’t think we can go down the route of ‘saving taxpayers millions’ because where does that end? Am I saving the state millions by not putting my kids in care, or not smoking? Am I saving the state millions by not throwing litter out the car window, or by doing voluntary work?

Either you’re committing an action that is costing directly or indirectly, or you’re not. You can’t really add ‘soft value’ to the economy.

OP posts:
FernFaery · 20/05/2026 17:15

Katypp · 20/05/2026 17:12

I'm not rich. Our household income is under £60k with two full-time workers.
But i think your attitide pretty much sums up the way lifestyles have crept way beyond what they used to be. And what used to be considered a extra - eg a holiday - is now seen as a basic need.
We are constantly told on here that families are spending every penny and struggling to make ends meet, yet when i walk past a nursery in my very working class area, you can't move for SUVs no more than three years old.
Soft play, play cafes, takeaway coffee shops, ice cream parlours, nail bars, beauticians, tanning shops, vape shops, endless hairdressers, dog grooming shops - someone must be using these places, yet they none of them existed 40 years ago.
So every penny may be being spent - but is driving a car far bigger and newer than really needed, getting a dog groomed, a couple of takeaway coffees a week and a soft play session really more important than a pension?

I agree with all of this.

Housing has gone up and is by far a biggest expense. So has food.

But outside of that, nothing has really, and it’s never been easier to price compare or buy things second hand online.

I’m also surrounded by SUVs, women with regular £40 manicures, people who do a day out most weekends somewhere that costs quite a lot of money, and everyone seems to have very nice ‘curated’ interior decor.

OP posts:
ThreadGuardDog · 20/05/2026 17:24

FernFaery · 20/05/2026 17:13

I don’t think we can go down the route of ‘saving taxpayers millions’ because where does that end? Am I saving the state millions by not putting my kids in care, or not smoking? Am I saving the state millions by not throwing litter out the car window, or by doing voluntary work?

Either you’re committing an action that is costing directly or indirectly, or you’re not. You can’t really add ‘soft value’ to the economy.

Do you have disabled children ? Have you any idea how much it costs to support a disabled family member ? 60 years ago putting a disabled child into care was the norm. It was horrendously expensive. The introduction of disability benefits changed all of that and was considerably cheaper than 24/7 care. The institutions closed and care in the community became the norm. Now the focus is on how much that costs - on the expense of disability benefits with no recourse to how much more it would cost to provide full time care for the people in receipt of them.

A measure of civilised society is how it provides for the sick, the disabled and the elderly. We’re failing on all three. ‘Soft value’ is a sickening term to describe the lives of those who are vulnerable.

ThingsAreNotWhatTheyWere · 20/05/2026 17:25

FernFaery · 20/05/2026 17:13

I don’t think we can go down the route of ‘saving taxpayers millions’ because where does that end? Am I saving the state millions by not putting my kids in care, or not smoking? Am I saving the state millions by not throwing litter out the car window, or by doing voluntary work?

Either you’re committing an action that is costing directly or indirectly, or you’re not. You can’t really add ‘soft value’ to the economy.

I think that's comparing apple and pears somewhat. The point is that children once they become adults are independent financially, as well as in every ither way. However, if that adult is not able to live and work independently and needs round-the-clock care, the/one parent either cannot work as they are fulfilling this role and gets a paltry contribution towards unpaid work or if they are unable or unwilling to do this, some kind of permanent residential care will need to be found which the state will probably have to fund. The first option is therefore by far the most cost-effective from the point of view of the government!

ThreadGuardDog · 20/05/2026 17:27

ThingsAreNotWhatTheyWere · 20/05/2026 17:25

I think that's comparing apple and pears somewhat. The point is that children once they become adults are independent financially, as well as in every ither way. However, if that adult is not able to live and work independently and needs round-the-clock care, the/one parent either cannot work as they are fulfilling this role and gets a paltry contribution towards unpaid work or if they are unable or unwilling to do this, some kind of permanent residential care will need to be found which the state will probably have to fund. The first option is therefore by far the most cost-effective from the point of view of the government!

This.