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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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9
BiteSizedLife · 20/05/2026 12:03

DeftGoldHedgehog · 20/05/2026 12:00

And a lot of this problem was created by the end of final salary and defined benefit schemes for most people, people would pay into schemes more if they knew they would definitely get a good pension at the end, as boomers and silent generation did. Pensions in themselves now are something of a gamble, I mean you wouldn't lose all your money but it's hard to know how much you are going to end up with, the estimates can vary pretty wildly!

Not only that but the government has TOTAL control over it. They can charge you whatever they like for you to access it, lock it away from you until they decide you can access it, enact any laws they like that dictate how you spend it, when you spend it... hell, they can even dip into it and decide they can take some/all if they want.

Trust is a big issue tbh.

I do predict a pension raid, sadly.

BorgQueen · 20/05/2026 12:04

I’ve seen it mooted on X that giving every newborn £20k that has to be invested in a pension would be cheaper than the current system.
I don’t disagree with the idea, although it would need to be at least £35k and would need to rise every year with inflation so not as cheap as the person insisted, in fact he blocked me when I mentioned his mythical £1million in 68 years time would only last 10 years due to inflation at current SP rates.
No Government is going to implement a system that won’t take effect for 68 years, they just wont.

Disturbia81 · 20/05/2026 12:09

BiteSizedLife · 20/05/2026 11:58

I'm amazed by the amount of people who are experts on complete strangers' finances on this thread.

Never in my life, (I mean real life, not behind-a-keyboard-life) has someone said to me "I can't afford the necessary amount into a pension" and I have responded "you're a liar, you can afford it... you just don't want to."

The internet is a weird place ins't it....

Mumsnet is a misrepresentative of the UK as a whole, meanwhile in the real world most people struggle. No way could I afford to pay into a pension.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 20/05/2026 12:10

BiteSizedLife · 20/05/2026 12:03

Not only that but the government has TOTAL control over it. They can charge you whatever they like for you to access it, lock it away from you until they decide you can access it, enact any laws they like that dictate how you spend it, when you spend it... hell, they can even dip into it and decide they can take some/all if they want.

Trust is a big issue tbh.

I do predict a pension raid, sadly.

This.

Samysungy · 20/05/2026 12:16

crossedlines · 20/05/2026 11:39

That’s true of some situations, but just look at how many posts on MN are from women not wanting to work once they become a parent, or only wanting to work part time forever more! Often citing ‘oh most of my wages would go on childcare’ or ‘I’ll still end up doing all the housework and carrying the mental load if I go to work’ as reasons for not being in paid employment. There are choices here, obviously within the parameters which we all have to operate in, but there is still a level of personal agency. Some people seem to believe they have no personal ability to make decisions and follow a particular path!

Many do not want to as they know they will have to work and then come home and do it all while he takes a 5 hour shit or lounges on the sofa doom scrolling. They also know that their wages would go on childcare knowing he will not share the cost. Yes they can choose to do it all or not do it all. Which is why they often have to choose to stop work as the other option is do it all while he does nothing. That is not a choice. Dads could also choose to drop time at work but as they are not paying childcare in most instances or doing all the chores and parenting after work it isn't something they want to do or see a need to do.

However women are working when they are stay at home mums. Both are working just one is in paid employment and one is unpaid. Both are work. Just she works about 18 hours a day to his 8. Men have a choice to parent and do chores....some ppl believe men have no personal ability to make these decisions.

Greenwitchart · 20/05/2026 12:19

frozendaisy · 20/05/2026 11:13

It is populist nonsense but it's gaining traction.

Poverty and hardship is affecting workers as well as non-workers.

As you say jobs are reducing but you can't hand out increasingly generous welfare payments if the money isn't there.

And everyone wants the nice, well paid, good employer, flexible jobs. Everyone does, and it's an employer's market right now. Of course they are going to employ someone with a strong track record and decent references.

The jobs which are easier to get no one wants to do.

We have exam aged teens, we are fully aware of the preciarious job market they could be entering, we don't know what to advise them for the best, we are aware that they are unlikely to even have pension contributions on their radar for years to come. We are basically saying "get out of the UK" which they are fully on board with.

Edited

UK welfare payments and pensions are not 'generous'. They are some of the lowest in Europe.

Also many people who claim benefits work but have no choice but to top up their wages with benefits because salaries have not kept up. Yet we never talk about fact cat employers choosing to pay pittance wages so they can maximise profit.

I am also not clear what the populist party expect to do with people who can't work or can't find work? let them die in the gutter?

This is not the type of society I want to live in.

It also find it shocking how so many people in England seem to think that their life would be better if there were no benefits yet never question dodgy politicians, CEOs and wealth hoarders in general who have built such an unequal society.

It is like the right wing media and politicians have succeeded in brainwashing the gullible...

Papyrophile · 20/05/2026 12:19

Having been self-employed since my 30s, and now retired, the time I've spent learning about pensions and managing our investment (mine's a SIPP) has been the best-paying work I ever did!

Friendlygingercat · 20/05/2026 12:19

There is already a deeply unfair situation where those who get pension credit (because they never saved) are better off than those who paid into a modest ccupational pension. This is because pension credit is a passport to other benefits that those thrifty individuals who have saved are denied. Thanks to Rachel from Accounts people in this group were very badly served by suspension of the WFA.

frozendaisy · 20/05/2026 12:20

worriedaboutmyboytoday · 20/05/2026 11:59

Sure. And they're not the people that have had the luck of continuous, well paid, decent pension provision employment that I was referring to.

What I am saying is some people work damn hard to make themselves attractive employees. Whilst some wilt at the slightest bump.

It's not all luck, there is some element of luck for some people, but for the vast majority being a decent worker is what gets them the work.

When you are state funded, be that during your younger years or at retirement, you get what the state can provide not what you think you should have.

And the state provides a basic pension for all. Anything above that is up to you or your family etc.

ChocolateApples · 20/05/2026 12:21

jumpingjohnny · 20/05/2026 08:47

Except the examples you've given are proving "don't want" rather than can't. 2.5k on a holiday is over £200 a month. That plus employer contribution would be an excellent pension, a quick calculation suggests between £1m - £5m depending on growth.

And your pay wouldn't even be £200 less pcm because it would be taken before tax.

And yes, holidays are a luxury, not an essential. Or at least something to cut back on, e.g. abroad every 2/3 years rather than every year. £300 per child for Christmas is insane! I bet most of it ends up in the bin.

How are you getting that sort of return? I can figure out your rough working.

Differentforgirls · 20/05/2026 12:27

NorthXNorthWest · 19/05/2026 22:32

Anyway, I figure I saved the taxpayer millions, yes millions of pounds so I won't feel too guilty when I claim my state pension

You haven't saved the state millions, she was your child and your responsibility. The state and, by default, tax payers are doing you a favour.

So heartless!

BorgQueen · 20/05/2026 12:27

DeftGoldHedgehog · 20/05/2026 12:00

And a lot of this problem was created by the end of final salary and defined benefit schemes for most people, people would pay into schemes more if they knew they would definitely get a good pension at the end, as boomers and silent generation did. Pensions in themselves now are something of a gamble, I mean you wouldn't lose all your money but it's hard to know how much you are going to end up with, the estimates can vary pretty wildly!

The only ways a pension would be worthless after 50 years of investing with tax relief on top is if the world as we know it ceases to exist, in which case a pension would be the least of your problems,
or if you invest stupidly. Anyone investing in a low cost Global tracker will have an average 8% growth per year over that half century. Of course it’s not linear and you get peaks and troughs but drip feeding in smooths it out and as long as you de-risk slowly over the decade before retirement, you would have a decent amount.
£125 a month, contributions increasing by 2.5% a year , would give £800,000 after 45 years at 8% growth, probably half of what you’d need for a 25 year retirement at current SP rate when adjusted for inflation.

7in1Pond · 20/05/2026 12:29

Trust is a big issue tbh.

Completely agree, and it's an area where this government have been really weak. Allowing rumours to circulate about removal of the tax free amount, trying to tinker with how pensions are invested via mandatory investment in private assets, changes to the allowances...it's been an absolute disaster for investor confidence. It's clear that Labour sees pensions as being a potential cash cow, either through changing the tax rules or through attempting to drive growth (and hence tax receipts) by requiring particular kinds of investments. But this is the opposite of what's needed to encourage people to put money into their pensions.

If we want growth and investment then we need to stop behaving like a basket case economy, changing leaders every 5 minutes and creating barriers to trade. Trying to use people's pensions to plug the gap will just mean fewer people want to pay into a pension.

BorgQueen · 20/05/2026 12:42

Apparently a third of those with DC pensions take the whole amount as soon as they are able,while still working, probably paying 40% tax on a big chunk of it, that needs to be stopped, although the Goverment won’t mind all that nice extra ‘stupidity’ tax.
The problem with most people is that they want jam today and HM Govt aren’t helping by destroying trust.

I was planning on building an index linked Gilt ladder within my pension to start paying out in a decade but I’m not entirely convinced I’ll actually be paid back, even though they have never defaulted. That’s what lack of trust in your Government does.

Theyreeatingthedogs · 20/05/2026 12:48

Franjipanl8r · 19/05/2026 23:00

I plan on working until I’m dead. Retirement sounds very boring.

It isn't. It's fabulous.

LoyalMember · 20/05/2026 12:56

Theyreeatingthedogs · 20/05/2026 12:48

It isn't. It's fabulous.

It is if you can afford it. Many can't.

MidnightMeltdown · 20/05/2026 12:56

Dahliasgalore · 20/05/2026 11:32

I have worked hard since I was 17, including working FT while I was a lone parent. I was so skint that I could barely pay into a workplace pension (and occasionally a private pension that I have). I’m likely to have a pension pot of £60k if I’m lucky, through no fault of my own. My mum was an unpaid carer for my disabled sister - working harder than anyone I’ve ever met. Obviously reliant on state pension. What do you think people are supposed to do? Let their children go without food or clothes? We are one of the richest countries in the world - it’s how that wealth is distributed that’s the problem. Stop bashing the people at the bottom.

This is the problem. The UK is not an especially rich country, not anymore. We are around number 25 and falling fast. I read somewhere that Poland is expected to overtake us by the end of the decade. People will need to revise their expectations on what the welfare state can provide.

Wednesday505 · 20/05/2026 12:57

Most people live day to day, there's no way of funding a pension.

LoyalMember · 20/05/2026 12:58

Wednesday505 · 20/05/2026 12:57

Most people live day to day, there's no way of funding a pension.

👏

OneShyQuail · 20/05/2026 13:09

Wednesday505 · 20/05/2026 12:57

Most people live day to day, there's no way of funding a pension.

And apparently not save £100 a month for a holiday with your children but put it into your pension pot instead.

Some posters assumed ive saved £100 a month for decades for holidays amd blasted me for wanting to take my kids away. Nope, this is the first year I have been able to put money aside for a holiday.

But yeah, I wont take them on holiday, il put £100 into my pension pot for 12 months instead.

Like honestly wtf?!

Oh and the £25 a month i put into their birthday and christmas funds.....apparently £300 on a birthday/christmas (split) is too much money and that should go into my pension too?!

So no Christmas or birthdays for them?

I love rich people telling poor people how to spend their money 🙄

DrRylandGrace · 20/05/2026 13:15

ChocolateApples · 20/05/2026 12:21

How are you getting that sort of return? I can figure out your rough working.

8% per year growth with a hands-off, no financial knowledge required, global share price tracker is the historical average over decades. Factor in compound growth and inflation and contributing less than £50 per month results in a nominal sum at 68 (even if you work in a minimum wage job for your entire working life) of £1.5-1.7m, per my earlier post (including the tax relief and employer contribution - so this is making just the standard 5% employee contribution on minimum wage over working life) because of the compounding. In real-terms (adjusted for inflation) this is likely to result in a pension fund of £350k-400k in “today’s money” which buys a 68 year old an annuity of £25-27k per year index linked (so uprated for inflation over their lifetime).

Clearly a £200 per month contribution (4 times as much) would be expected to result in a pension fund 4 times this size by the time the person retires.

ILombardiallaPrimaCrociata · 20/05/2026 13:22

BorgQueen · 20/05/2026 12:42

Apparently a third of those with DC pensions take the whole amount as soon as they are able,while still working, probably paying 40% tax on a big chunk of it, that needs to be stopped, although the Goverment won’t mind all that nice extra ‘stupidity’ tax.
The problem with most people is that they want jam today and HM Govt aren’t helping by destroying trust.

I was planning on building an index linked Gilt ladder within my pension to start paying out in a decade but I’m not entirely convinced I’ll actually be paid back, even though they have never defaulted. That’s what lack of trust in your Government does.

A third??? Are you sure? Because this would be utterly insane. Are people really this dumb?

Thank you, @DrRylandGrace for explaining how investment returns and compounding works.

NorthXNorthWest · 20/05/2026 13:34

Differentforgirls · 20/05/2026 12:27

So heartless!

Pragmatic.

Scottishmamaagain · 20/05/2026 13:34

It doesn’t surprise me. I started an apprenticeship in my early 20s with a big company, generous pension you contribute 5% and the company contributes 10%. I was in a group of 5 locally who started at the same time, I was the only one who didn’t opt out of the pension.

We will all be turning 30ish now and I wonder if they have started contributing, I imagine it’s much harder to start as well all have more responsibilities now became home owners/ started having kids etc.

I actually upped my contributions to 10% a couple of years ago, if we get a pay rise next year I will look to up it by that percentage again.

Differentforgirls · 20/05/2026 13:35

NorthXNorthWest · 20/05/2026 13:34

Pragmatic.

I disagree. There but for the grace...

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