AIBU to wait rather than squeeze past a big dog taking up pavement while defecating?

[SummerIsComing26]

Really confused by something that just happened so wanted to ask if I was unreasonable, and to help me understand why if so. I’m autistic, so may have acted differently to others and would appreciate some help understanding if/where I went wrong as I’m really looping on this.

I was just out walking and there was lady coming towards me with a large dog. I moved over to make room and then when I looked up again, the dog was turning and she was infront of me.

The dog then stopped to poo in the middle of the pavement. The dog was width ways across pavement. There was a very narrow gap infront of the dog but I would have to go sideways and brush past the dog’s face. I was nervous to do that while it was toileting as I don’t like getting too close to dogs, especially if they may not appreciate contact while defecating? The fact it was a big dog did impact my decision. Lady was about 2-3m away from dog which also impacted my decision to wait.

So I just quietly waited. I didn’t have a problem waiting although I may have felt anxious as it was a situation I wasn’t sure what to do in. But I was really careful to not look inpatient or anything as it wasn’t the lady’s fault etc. The road was busy so I couldn’t walk into it to go round, and there was no pavement on the other side of road.

Lady gave me a really funny look. So I just smiled and said I didn’t like getting too close to dogs so was happy to wait. I was very friendly. She didn’t look impressed?

As soon as dog finished and came back to owner, I then had room to pass and carried on. I smiled and said thank you as I passed as she had the dog on shorter lead then.

Lady was quite funny with me. She was on phone at the time, and then started to be really unpleasant about me as I walked away (so couldn’t hear why she had problem but the “this stupid woman was just stood….” gave it away)

I found her unpleasantness quite upsetting but wasn’t sure where I went wrong?

Thank you so much for helping me.

Could you not have just crossed to the other side?

That's what I do when someone has a dog on the pavement with them, (shitting or not!)

I am not a dog hater, but I don't fully trust any dog that I don't know/have never seen before, and do give them a wide berth.

I have no idea why you have been upset at what happened. This woman was a random who you didn't even know, and will very likely not see again....

.

There was no pavement on the other side of the road sadly. Otherwise I would have done that (and normally do)

It sounds like you were polite but it also sounds very awkward just standing there waiting for someone’s dog to finish pooping. Could you have side stepped into the road while there was a gap in the traffic? Appreciate you shouldn’t need to walk in the road but unfortunately it’s hard to control where and how a dog poops exactly!

Oh, then fair enough. You did nothing wrong, but (as I said) I can't understand why you are upset. This woman is nothing to you I assume...?

And as the previous poster said, I would have just stepped into the road, (to pass,) once it was safe to do so of course.

.

You did nothing wrong, OP. It's a non-event, just a grumpy woman.

She was on the phone, holding a lead and picking up a big stinky dog turd all at the same time. I’m impressed

You did nothing wrong. Most people would probably cut across the road but not doing so isn’t a problem. She was embarrassed and lashed out.

Remember - just because you have autism doesn’t mean you’re always the one acting wrong. Other people can be rude and wrong socially whether NT or autistic.

You were polite. She was rude and unkind.

I think it’s my autism that means that unpleasant interactions are very upsetting for me and I try to understand where I went wrong so it doesn’t happen again. I also replay the situation over on loop. It’s a crap part of autism.

I'd have cut into the road but not your fault. I hope she picked up the poo, by your description of the pavement a buggy or wheelchair would not be able to swerve a poo easily if she'd just left it.

What was this woman doing 2 to 3 metres from her dog on a pavement???
she was the one being unreasonable.
I have a large dog and I would have noticed you looking uncomfortable and would have thanked you for waiting.
Pavements are for walking not for dogs to do their business!

I hope so too as was massive! I didn’t hang round to find out though as just wanted to get away.

So what? It’s not a crime to be awkward. The dog owner sounds entitled and rude.

That sounds hard. I'd probably have told her to fuck off, but you sound nicer than me!

Got nothing to do with autism surely. Woman was in the wrong.

i taught dc2 to say really loudly “ewww GROSS that dog is pooing mummy that’s DISGUSTING!”

And I say “yes darling it’s very stinky and sticky so steer clear.And look the doggie doesn’t wipe his bottom and then he goes home and sits on the carpet! Yucky.”

I get a lot of nasty looks but really, am I wrong? 🤣

It was awkward, girl! Dont worry, happens to the best of us, but it did remind me of this from Love Island

Try not to worry, its one of lifes awkward moments xx

You did nothing wrong OP, try to forget about it.

OP, you were not wrong, this woman and her dog put you in an awkward situation, not least by her acting like an arsehole.
I may have waited for the dog to finish it's poo AND for her to pick it up, had she not, that's when I would have said something.

I guess I said it to explain why I was asking? I can find it hard to know what is reasonable and normal in social situations. I wasn’t sure if asking the question would seem unusual etc. Also, I was hoping that people might explain things in a clear way, knowing that my “common sense” in social situations is quite often different. If that makes sense?

I mean I think that waiting for dog to finish might make you look a little odd, like you’re watching the dog poo. Or that you’re waiting to ensure the owner picks up after the dog.

Perhaps she was a little put out as she would have left it there if no one had been there to witness her.

It does sound strange to me that you didn’t get around them somehow, maybe walking in the road briefly - I think that’s what most people would have done, but it’s hard to know how easy that would have been for you. Your post suggests it was impossible (so fair enough that you waited) but her reaction suggests that she didn’t agree. So it’s hard to say …

Is it possible that she mistook your friendly "Thank you" for a sarcastic remark?

You acted fine, she was being weird. I'm autistic too and I get it. Try not to give it another thought, you were perfectly entitled to wait if that's what you felt comfortable doing.

Unfortunately some people are really very offended when someone doesn't act the "usual" way. But that's not your fault.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to post. Normally I have a vague idea of what I have done wrong if people are off with me. But in this instance I genuinely didn’t have a clue and it seemed really weird that you’d just be rude to someone randomly.

I’ll try to distract myself now!

Thank you all for your kindness.

No, but it might explain why the woman got her back up. Like another poster said, I can imagine she maybe interpreted it as being watched to see she was going to pick the shit up. There’s also something odd about watching someone else you don’t know scoop shit?