AIBU to wait rather than squeeze past a big dog taking up pavement while defecating?

[SummerIsComing26]

Really confused by something that just happened so wanted to ask if I was unreasonable, and to help me understand why if so. I’m autistic, so may have acted differently to others and would appreciate some help understanding if/where I went wrong as I’m really looping on this.

I was just out walking and there was lady coming towards me with a large dog. I moved over to make room and then when I looked up again, the dog was turning and she was infront of me.

The dog then stopped to poo in the middle of the pavement. The dog was width ways across pavement. There was a very narrow gap infront of the dog but I would have to go sideways and brush past the dog’s face. I was nervous to do that while it was toileting as I don’t like getting too close to dogs, especially if they may not appreciate contact while defecating? The fact it was a big dog did impact my decision. Lady was about 2-3m away from dog which also impacted my decision to wait.

So I just quietly waited. I didn’t have a problem waiting although I may have felt anxious as it was a situation I wasn’t sure what to do in. But I was really careful to not look inpatient or anything as it wasn’t the lady’s fault etc. The road was busy so I couldn’t walk into it to go round, and there was no pavement on the other side of road.

Lady gave me a really funny look. So I just smiled and said I didn’t like getting too close to dogs so was happy to wait. I was very friendly. She didn’t look impressed?

As soon as dog finished and came back to owner, I then had room to pass and carried on. I smiled and said thank you as I passed as she had the dog on shorter lead then.

Lady was quite funny with me. She was on phone at the time, and then started to be really unpleasant about me as I walked away (so couldn’t hear why she had problem but the “this stupid woman was just stood….” gave it away)

I found her unpleasantness quite upsetting but wasn’t sure where I went wrong?

Thank you so much for helping me.

I wondered that, but I was smiling and it was said with warmth not curt tones. Maybe she didn’t hear as she was on phone?

You did nothing wrong OP, but I've found that some dog owners are really weird about it if other people are wary of their dog or don't treat it as a priority.

I have a fairly large dog who is quite wary of people but seems to have a special knack of deciding to have a poo just as someone is approaching. I do take steps to avoid this and generally avoid busy footpaths but it's not always possible. If someone waited as you did I would be very grateful. This dog may have been very comfortable with strangers getting close to him but in my view you were sensible not to try- not every dog would be happy with that and not every owner has complete control over their dog.

What a lack of empathy! Why shouldn't she be upset by it? The dog walkers was horrid!

But I didn’t watch her - I don’t ever know if she did pick it up as I quickly walked away.

As soon as dog was away and closer to her I walked.

I didn’t stare at dog while doing its business either - I quickly looked so see if squirting by was option and then was looking at road and traffic as wanted to get away if I could!

It’s right over a railway bridge and it’s a very busy and narrow road with only pavement on one side. Trust me, if there was a way out of an awkward social moment I would have taken it! 😊

OP it's not you that's at fault at all, she sounds like a nasty person and was probably feeling guilty ( well I hope she was!). The only thing I might have done differently was to wait at the pavement edge and looked for a possible gap in the traffic to scooter around but don't put yourself in danger.

Ah OP, im not autistic but I totally irrationally dwell on social situations. I appreciate it's a me problem and I'd love nothing more than to be able to brush shit like this off! Im also the owner of a large dog and I would never comment on anyone who politely waited or moved away from her! You just met a an unreasonable person is all.

It just sounds like an awkward situation you standing there watching her dog taking a shit. She probably couldn't understand why you would choose to do that so read bad intentions into what you were doing.

I wonder did she think that you were judging her or waiting to ensure she cleaned up after him.

You did exactly what I would do in that situation.

Sorry, I just realised that you meant that maybe she thought I would stop and watch her? Possibly, although when she was being rude I was walking away. But maybe she had her back up and wanted to rant.

Yes, maybe she has had someone be rude to her before so she made assumptions about me. Good way to look at it maybe as she might have been worried and that was her way of dealing with.

How about it's awkward for you to talk your dog out for a walk on a lead, and for it to shit on the pavement.... And you carry that shit bag around with you, to leave it on a tree somewhere.

I think there is no one size of normal or reasonable for some situations.

Some people are weird about their dogs.

Unless it was a particularly busy road, I’d have walked in the road to get around. You didn’t do anything wrong waiting though, sounds like her dog blocked up most of the pavement which was kind of rude of her really.

Thank you all for the reassurance that there wasn’t anything really too unusual in what I did. I’ll chalk it up to one of those things rather than something I did and need to worry about!

I’m definitely going to wait far back until any dogs have gone by on that stretch of pavement from now on!

There was no need for her to speak insultingly about you in your hearing, even if she thought you were watching to see if she picked up the poo.

I love dogs, but with a large dog I don't know, I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable squeezing past it like that, so YWNBU. She ought to understand that many people wouldn't want to do that, but some dog owners take any demonstration of caution around their pet as a personal insult. It's stupid of them, but it definitely happens!

Yeah ok so that lady sounds totally unreasonable!

some people just have no manners! At least you can live with the knowledge that you do!

Eh?

Ignore the silly cow

Yes, absolutely nothing to worry about OP. You were perfectly polite and sensible. She was unpleasant and anyone that says 'she was stood' is clearly thick too.

Can I ask why? Is it because I don’t see what others see and might find obvious? I’d absolutely love that not to be the case.

She blocked the whole pavement with a shitting dog! Of course she was being unreasonable! Why anyone should have to stand a wait for a gap in traffic to enable the dog to shit the pavement untroubled by unwilling spectators, I don't know!

Some dog owners, especially big dog owners take it as some kind of insult if anyone is in any way timid around their animal. They see them as 'fur babies' and not a creature that has potential to bite or attack.

I would have done the same as you, one of my sons was attacked by a dog a few years ago so there is no chance I would go near a stranger's dog.

You did the right thing. The lady with the funny look should be ignored.

You did absolutely nothing wrong she was just a silly grumpy woman. Animals are vulnerable when they poo so the dog obviously trusted you and sensed that you're a good person which is the purest form of trust and approval. Trust the dogs opinion not the numpty owner.