I'm so sorry OP that is disgraceful! Utterly unacceptable. Do complain if you're up to it, but it's a lot when you have serious health problems I know. You're a trooper. I am in awe of you getting through all that and still battling with cancer. You inspire me!! Fuck him. He's a man. Overall he has steady hormone levels month in, month out, he will never experience menopause, and he's not on steroids which wreck havoc with your cortisol levels, which in turn affects your other hormones including insulin receptivity, which in turn affects your weight. That's before we get anywhere near your immune system being weaker after chemo. How the hell do these people not stop and think about these basic things before they start castigating patients?
Misogyny is absolutely rife in the NHS and it's so pervasive many female doctors have to squeeze into the same mould just to get through training, so unfortunately you don't always get better care from them either. I feel they could be doing more to address the issue from within though as it's something that comes up repeatedly and it's just not good enough.
I once left a consultation in tears after an appointment with a frankly scary doctor who asked me how many sexual partners I had and what my martial status was during a - wait for it - GASTROENTEROLOGY appointment. When I pushed back and asked what these questions had to do with why I had been referred, he raised his voice and gave me a diatribe about unmarried women in their twenties being attention seekers because they suffer with 'profound anxiety' because they do not have kids and I was clearly there to waste his time and this was proved by my 'aggressive' response to his questions..questions about my sex life! Then clearly aware that he overstepped the boundaries, he went on to tell me that he was the lead consult not only for the hospital I was in, but requested as advisory consult and surgeon for every other hospital in the area. I honestly couldn't believe what the appointment had turned into. I bloody well should have reported him right away, but was young at the time, and was in shock because I hadn't expected anything like that! It was like a comedy sketch it was so blatantly sexist. I had a follow up procedure two weeks later and there were two nurses in the room this time and his behaviour switched 360° to a full charm and ultra professional offensive. I just remember holding onto the nurses' hand and directing all my conversation to her and she kept telling me to relax, thinking I was just anxious about the procedure. When in fact it was him I was afraid of and I requested she stay near me in the side room afterwards.
There have been other misogynistic encounters. Even talking about menopause with the GP is seemingly a chore. It's systemic in my view. Is it getting better? I wouldn't say so. My personal view is women need separate services and there ought to be 'well women' centres. Of course it's unfeasible but that's what's needed in my view. Too many women are vulnerable and underserved in the current system.
My advice OP is if you can, have someone with you in appointments for support and advocacy on your behalf. Preferably a man. The difference is startling and sobering in equal measure.
I wish you strength and don't let this get you down. It's a very much shared experience, unfortunately. You're remarkable.
Wishing you well💐