The in laws are down stairs

[Tortington]

Bil & SIl arrived yesterday and are here for a long visit.

FIL & MIL have arrived this morning afterdriving 300 miles.

AIBU - to sit in bed with lap top mumsnetting

i Can't even pretend i am asleep becuse dh just came upstairs and ordered me out of bed " i don't have to share you pain" says i
"yes you bloody well do" says he.

i think its perfectly reasonable to get up to find BIL, SIL, FIL, MIL, nephew neice and neices BF in my living room - what say you?

perfectly reasonalb eot stay in bed i mean

Get downstairs, get your hostess trolley out and paint a smile on yer face.

"For better and for worse..." This is one of the worse times. Get out of bed and do your wifely duty .

I though at least mumsnetters would understand!!!

damn it - off to make egg buties then i hate cooking.

WTF are they doing there so early? That is v rude imo. that said I suspect the better part of valour would be to get up and make lots f cups of tea, sorry for your trouble.

stay in bed they are all adults. get dh to put the tv on for them and he can take them to the park later.

If they have travelled 300 miles, what time did they leave?

I'd stay in bed but I'm single so not the best person to advise on achieving marital harmony

Actually Custardo I think you look a bit peaky, maybe you could do with a lie down and a hot water bottle for a couple of hours?

I pretend to go to work when my ILs are here
I have been known to put work clothes on and walk round Matalan

Take pity on me...when my mil comes to visit she stays for two weeks!!!

YABU - if you didn't want them to come, and couldn't say no, then suck it up and get on with it.

Support your husband and be a gracious hostess. They have travelled 300 miles!

at some of the replies - how rude and childish to play games, however hard the IL visits are. These are the people who brought up your DH/DP, and you can't even show them respect, let alone being nice.

pmsl F&Z!

lou, I think the OP may have her tongue in her cheek a wee bit .

LOL @ F&Z. Last time MIL came I found a 2 day work-related course I REALLy had to go on. It let her and DH have some lovely bonding time taking the kids to the zoo etc. Result!

No I can't show them any respect lou
my MIL is a malevolent destructive alcoholic and my dp is a fab person IN SPITE of her not because of her

don't apply your sheltered family circumstances to other people's families about whom you have no knowledge

Lol FrannyandZooey

Why not book a spa day next time? Put on work gear and go and pamper yourself? That's what i would do if my in laws ever visited us.

oh yes my inlaws are comign for a long weekend next weekend
dh asked me to be in when they arrive whilst he is at work
I booked an opticians appointment smartish and told him to get his arse back her at lunchtime for their arrival

Wait just a second, FrannyandZooey, you shouldn't be making assumptions about my family circumstances .

I'm sorry that your MIL is "a malevolent destructive alcoholic", really.

My FIL isn't an easy character, and I find it intensely difficult to get past the way he treats DH, but I wouldn't be so rude as to ignore his visit after travelling for 300 miles, and leaving my DH to deal with it on his own.

What does that display other than selfishness and a lack of support for the man you love?

FWIW my father in law told my DH that I was not suitable for him, and that he should split up with me. Yes, it was 8 years ago, and we have been married for 6 years, but it still makes me feel uneasy. I do have to listen to destructive comments that totally undermine my DH, and keep quiet for his sake, when I would actually like to speak my mind. But to show such disregard for their visit would be wrong.

And this is AIBU, surely it is OK to come on to the thread and share an opinion that "Yes, YABU"? Or is this one of those situations where only the chosen ones can post in support of the OP?

Why do the lighthearted threads turn so chippy so quickly atm?

F&Z - have noted the work clothes and Matalan technique for future use.

riven your mil sounds like a really nice woman. you are lucky to have such a caring mil !!!

id definately stay in bed if she came to visit! in fact i think id move house and not bother telling her!!!

'only the chosen ones can post in support of the OP'?
what are you on about lou? You can disagree with the OP or anyone else that you choose to, but when you disagree with and criticise me, I am going to disagree right back.

people like my MIL don't deserve my respect and will never get it
by assuming they do deserve it, just because they are the parents of my dp, you make a lot of assumptions IMO

I don't ask my MIL to visit - as far as I am concerned she is not welcome in my house but out of respect to my DP, I am ok with her visiting when he is there.

Me being there 'to give him support'? He doesn't find it helpful or advantageous to see his mother upsetting and insulting me, funnily enough, so he also prefers me to go out and do something pleasant by myself.

I would never "listen to destructive comments that totally undermine my dp and keep quiet". People who make such comments are not welcome in my house and I will deal with their visits as I see fit. Ignoring such people is not rude, it's sensible!

dear me lou

and no i show dps parents NO respect because i do not respect them

giving birth does not a parent make