AIBU Drinking with Kids

[Mamorau]

So my son plays a team sport and as a team they will occasionally arrange a team day out which involves a day out playing the sport in question which usually has a club house and bar there and then an activity for the kids on the way home, we all usually go together on a bus. Now my son loves this as he gets to spend the day with his friends, but I really struggle with it as all the other parents use this as an exuse for basically a pi** up and I don’t mean a few social drinks I mean barely able to function by the end of the day, they spend the whole time from start to finish drinking with many starting with cans as soon as they get on the bus!

Now don’t get me wrong I love a good night out when I don’t have the kids with me I just don’t think its responsible to get hammered when your kids are with you!

I never comment on people’s drinking or behaviour when we go on these trips because I think each to their own but I do find I get made to feel like I’m a really boring party pooper because I don’t drink even though I will join in on the fun, I just don’t need a drink to be able to do that!

So AIBU to think I’m not being boring I’m just being responsible adult/parent!

Silly question to which you already know the answer.

But ALL the parents get so pissed that they're barely able to function by the end of the day??

That's not something I'd go to if this is true.

Ok perhaps not all but the majority, the last trip involved 18 parents there was 1 not drinking (me) and 3 who drank but were still able to function, the rest were hammered!

I am not sure I would want my son or myself in a situation like this. Seems weird that so many get drunk. Do the coaches also drink heavily on the trips?

Yes once the game is over they join in! I would rather not go but I feel my son misses the social side with his friends then if that makes sense. I think if we didn’t go he would always be the odd one out in the team.

Nothing you can do except grin and bear it then.

I wouldn't be happy about it at all! Whatever about a couple of drinks, even a bit merry but not to the point where parents are hammered.

I know people might say but they don't get out much etc. But you don't need to be so drunk you can't function properly to have a good time

Can you buddy up with one of the other non-drinkers and take it in turns to go?

Drinking is fine and pretty normal - even if I heard some bored uptight idiots complaining about alcohol on school property 😂(beer at summer fair, mulled wine at Christmas, not exactly the headteacher doing shots with the parents)

but people being hammered to the point of being unable to walk is of course a no. Nothing you can do sadly.

Great role models for the kids. I'm with you on this.

That’s disgusting. I can understand a pint or so after the matches are done (although personally I don’t really see why on a kids day out) but cans on the bus is bizarre. So many people have alcohol issues in this country - I think fuelled by an inability to socialise without it and anxiety and low self esteem when sober.

Exactly I’m not someone who never drinks with the kids around, but it will always just be one or two, but its the drinking to excess I just don’t get!

How did they get home ?

We’re usually dropped off at various pick up points so usually some walk some will get taxi’s. Thats one of the reasons I tend not to drink at all is because I have to drive home from the drop off and having 1 or 2 drinks isnt worth the hassle of trying to get a taxi or arrange a lift

How old are the children? Obviously it’s not ideal for any age, but I’d judge less for a group of parents to teenagers than 6 year olds. I’m generally a non drinker myself except for a couple of times a year, so I would be like you on this. But if it’s not kids that actively need “looking after” I would probably just ignore it. It’s very sad though that people need to get hammered to have fun…

How often does it happen?

They’re junior age kids so that 8-12 so of age bracket.

It probably we happens 2-3 times during the season which is usually September to May/June.

A bus home with a load of wasted adults? Sounds hideous. I’d probably drive myself and my child there and back separately. All he’ll miss out on is the bus, and the bus home sounds like it would be unpleasant anyway.

There's obviously a mid point where it's fine. My kids go to large sports meetings with teams from all over the world in the summer and there's always a bar in operation at them. I'd maybe have two or three drinks across the day and a couple on the bus home (with other parents doing similar). I'm perfectly able to function and it lightens the many hours when the kids are sitting doing nothing and the long bus journey home.

Obviously drinking to a point where you can't function is ridiculous and dangerous if you're responsible for getting a child home after.

I have one coming up with DS's rugby team. I'm so glad that the coach was booked so that we can indulge in some coach drinks, rather than having to drive. Can't wait. It'll be fun to hang out with the other parents whilst the kids are doing their thing.

Just because you don't like it, doesn't make it wrong.

Nothing wrong with you not wanting to drink, wouldn’t bother me what the other parents are doing unless they attempted to drive home, but sounds like thats not the case.

This happens regularly at competitions with my children’s sport, especially ones that last a weekend. Not everyone gets drunk but the ones who do, go beyond a few drinks and you see them coming out of the toilets with each other…. No need to guess what they’re doing. Especially as the behaviour escalates.

Ofcourse they receive warnings etc and there have been times a few have been so messed up, that their children have missed the morning competing! But it’s the same every time. I’m not above having a couple of social drinks at them, but not enough to have me embarrass myself or my children.

So you think its ok to be so drunk you can’t properly care for your children!

This is fairly common and sadly one particular sport has a bad reputation for 'tours' where the kids simulate drinking games as part of organised games and parents get paraletic in the bar. We've always gone along and had fun but disappeared when things start getting messy.

It is possible to do both. He'll be on the same bus so not much trouble he can get into.

It’s rugby isn’t it ? 😂😂