AIBU Drinking with Kids

[Mamorau]

So my son plays a team sport and as a team they will occasionally arrange a team day out which involves a day out playing the sport in question which usually has a club house and bar there and then an activity for the kids on the way home, we all usually go together on a bus. Now my son loves this as he gets to spend the day with his friends, but I really struggle with it as all the other parents use this as an exuse for basically a pi** up and I don’t mean a few social drinks I mean barely able to function by the end of the day, they spend the whole time from start to finish drinking with many starting with cans as soon as they get on the bus!

Now don’t get me wrong I love a good night out when I don’t have the kids with me I just don’t think its responsible to get hammered when your kids are with you!

I never comment on people’s drinking or behaviour when we go on these trips because I think each to their own but I do find I get made to feel like I’m a really boring party pooper because I don’t drink even though I will join in on the fun, I just don’t need a drink to be able to do that!

So AIBU to think I’m not being boring I’m just being responsible adult/parent!

But what about when you get home and there are no other responsible adults there with you? Some kids had both parents with them and both as drunk as each other, do you think thats ok?

I am surprised that the Coach Company allows drinking on the bus tbh.

Personally I would be making my own way there and back.

I think it's really scummy to use a childrens sports event as an excuse to get pissed.

But I also think it's scummy getting pissed around your kids in general. And I really dislike the whole not being able to not tip alcohol down your throat for the time you're with your kids.

I will probably stop drinking after the game and sleep on the journey home (its a super early start). So more or less fine back at home. Fine enough to deal with whatever emergencies you are foreseeing.

Ok fair enough! Sadly that isn’t the case in my example!

Have they actually said anything to you about not drinking?

I'm surprised they are allowed to drink on the bus, most private buses don't let you, and don't let you on if you are too drunk. Has anyone ever gotten sick on the bus?

Can you go under your own steam in your car all the way to avoid the “party bus”?

Thats what I’d do but then I also get coach sick!

No nobody has ever said anything, its just a feeling I get!

Its the same bus company that’s used and they always allow drinking.

If the club themselves organise the trip I would be really surprised if they don’t ensure there are enough sober adults for the ratio of children there. Their insurance would need them to do a risk assessment and it would look really bad for them if a child was injured and it turns out nobody was there sober enough to deal with it properly.

People using kids events as an excuse to get pissed really winds me up. It was impossible ever to “drop and run” with my daughter at birthday parties, and inevitably I ended up being the only parent not getting pissed in the kitchen and had to make sure the kids were all behaving.

I am all for drinking a few cocktails on a rugby tour (or brunch 11am mulled wine when you're freezing on the side of the pitch in the winter 😂)

but genuinely drunk adults are hideous for everybody else, and are always the ones whose kids SHOULD be supervised.

It's not alcohol that's right or wrong, it's becoming incapacitated because you can't hold your drinks.

One or two drinks, maybe in the bar after a match when the kids are running around. All day drinking, starting in the morning, with kids around and stuck on a coach with you is really nasty and shows how much drinking to excess is normalised in our culture. As someone whose ex was a heavy drinker, it turned me off drinking, him burbling nonsense at the kids was really unpleasant. Also have you ever heard the conversations adults have when drink makes their filters go down. Your kids are listening. For those saying coaches indulge too - drinking with parents and around kids. This should also be in conflict with most safeguarding policies and codes of conduct. I've lost count of the number of abuse cases that begin with coaches plying kids with booze.

Hopefully it'll put the kids off drinking too much if they see all these adults acting like fools

I agree with you , a couple of drinks is ok but being paralytic nope 👎🏻
it is a bit pathetic they use the kids sports event for an excuse to get so drunk 🥴
I am surprised the coach hire firm hasn’t had something to say about a bunch of very drunk adults on the coach who are meant to be keeping an eye on their kids .
FWIW i used to have a glass of wine or one cocktail at a function or event but no more , because I’d be heading back to my 3 kids and would need to look after them the next morning ( early risers )

If there's any medium for raising it as a topic, I absolutely would. I'm no puritan by any means, but it sets an awful example to the kids. Some of the drinkers may actually agree with you (peer pressure etc). One or two knobends will kick up a fuss, but they'll just look silly tbh.

Not sports but we have a school fundraiser or two each year like this. It’s about 1pm to 10pm of drinking with some activities for the kids (games, etc) and live music.

This is primary school so some of these children are 4, plus younger siblings up to usually early secondary age with older siblings coming. The parents get absolutely paralytic. The kids are out in the sun all day. There is food, but probably not enough and only really fizzy drinks and alcohol.

I don’t drink anyway and I drive my dc and Dh there and drive us home, but the whole thing really makes me anxious. It’s a very safe area and all but the other parents are not in a good place for parenting. And frankly, I have absolutely no idea how they all get home at the end of the night as it’s very rural and we don’t have many options for taxis.

Anyway, beyond all that, the whole thing bores me to tears. The same slurred drunken stories each time. Last year there was an actual fight between two school mums that carried over to Monday pick up at the school gates! 😳

How much caring for does a 12 year old actually need when playing a sport or on a bus?

You say each to their own in your OP, but you're obviously pretty judgemental about them given this thread, so they probably pick up on that. No one cares that you aren't drinking, but they do care about the judgement.

on a sports tour? They do need supervision! The coaches are not babysitter.

And again, it's the ones with lazy parents who are a menace, and someone else has to pick up the slack. It's funny how the ones with decent parents more or less behave. The ones with the lazy parents are the kids who will destroy the loos, try to create a mess with the food, create all sort of mayhem and be generally feral. Nothing horrendous, usually, they are 12, but unacceptable behaviour. Always the same.