AIBU to feel hurt DH has not asked about us while away?

[Snowdrops99]

DH has gone away to pursue a hobby with some friends for 5 days and I'm looking after DC 7, 4 and 9 months. DC have had colds and baby teething, there's been the usual after school clubs and weekend clubs to take them to, as well as the usual endless tidying, washing, etc. The nights have been very disturbed but I was on board with this and knew what it might be like when the trip was planned. I actively encouraged DH to go as we all need a break sometimes! While away he's sent several pictures and X2 videos for the DC. I've sent a few pics back (maybe 6) of our activities and said baby has got X3 teeth since he left. There has been NOT A SINGLE comment on the photos, or what I've said or any questions about the DC or how I'm managing here. I'm actually pretty annoyed as I've been looking at pics of him having a great time while here on my own exhausted and feeling very unloved / unappreciated. I know if I went away for even a night I'd show a little bit more interest in what everyone is doing.

YABU - he's having a break so leave him to it
YANBU - he's being completely selfish and appears not to care what you've been up to

Thing is, I don't want him to come back and me be annoyed as that's never a nice feeling, but how to approach it?

He'll have known it'll have been hard but he's never had the 3 of them on his own for more than about an hour or two so maybe he doesn't know quite what the juggle involves.

This seems to be the problem.
I know you have said you are breastfeeding the little one, but did you ever go away for a few days break and leave him with the two of them before the little one was born ?

Like @TheChosenTwo , dh and I would only ever have contacted each other in an emergency when the other one was away. That's sort of the point. You are either having a complete break, or you are away for work or volunteering with something which you are focusing on. Hearing that one of your dc you may be hundreds of miles away from has had a bad night isn't helpful for anyone when there is nothing you can do about it, because you aren't there.

It’s not a break if you’re constantly checking in. I used to schedule a 15min video chat every other day so I could see the kids and husband. Usually it was during the go back to hotel and freshen up before dinner part of the day.

That way everyone was happy, I wasn’t failing some unspoken rule of asking after or messaging. The kids didn’t miss me as much and DH had a chance to see me and have a quick chat.

He thinks you are competent and if you weren't all alright you would be telling him, not waiting for him to ask. If you did tell him how difficult things are then that's a different question.

He's a man, what do you expect?

I came home briefly today after giving a talk which was a big deal, he never asked how it went, just told me what he'd been doing in the garden. I said I was going to tell you how my talk went but I've no time now so he said in a very flat voice, "Tell me", but he never switched the TV sound down so I just left. They're very self obsessed.

That's not true

If my husband goes away, he likes to ring me at least every day to chat about his day and will message in the morning with a hello or good morning.

Op husband doesn't care, he has two kids and a wife at home