Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have called DH out on being so two faced?

50 replies

Clopadop · 17/05/2026 14:24

I am a fully paid up member and supporter of a political party. DH isn’t a member but he is a supporter - we have had many discussions about politics where he has always demonstrated great support for this party, including recording tv interviews with the leader so he can watch them back if he’s at work etc.

Yesterday we went out for lunch with his son who gets on to politics and starts tearing into this party (absolutely fine with this btw) - what got me is DH started joining in agreeing with him, taking the piss out of the leader and agreeing that they are a terrible party and when his son said “I can’t understand anyone who votes for them” DH said “neither can I”!!!

Now, I wasn’t going to get involved but the two faced behaviour was just too much - so I said “but YOU voted for them at the last GE, and the local elections … “ his son burst out laughing - DH looked embarrassed and muttered “no I didn’t!”. I said “well, you told me you did?” He replied “ha well I was joking, of course I didn’t vote for them”.

So I said “oh, ok … weird thing to joke about … but were you also joking last night when you were rewatching (leader) making a speech and going on about how brilliant they were?”

his son said “oh dad, surely not?” DH looked pissed off and said “I wasn’t even watching it, I was on my phone” 🙄 right

I left it there but when we got home I confronted him on it and he said “at least I’m not an actual member like you!” … but I never claimed not to like them!!! 😂😂 he’s now pissed off that I embarrassed him but I don’t think I did anything wrong?? He’s either been lying to me for years or lying to his son? Was I supposed to just sit there quietly whilst he waffled on with what I knew to be a load of bullshit?

OP posts:
Spicysirracha · 17/05/2026 14:26

Was this the first time your DH and his son had ever discussed politics?

Spicysirracha · 17/05/2026 14:27

Maybe your dh is a leaf in the wind when it comes to politics.

To have an easy life with the party signed up for wife - he smiles and nods

With his son he goes with whatever his son is saying

Clopadop · 17/05/2026 14:27

Spicysirracha · 17/05/2026 14:26

Was this the first time your DH and his son had ever discussed politics?

Yes by the looks of it

OP posts:
Confuserr · 17/05/2026 14:28

What a wet flannel he is to pretend to support a party just to keep someone happy (true whether this applies to party A re you or B re his DS).
Especially given the lengths he goes to. I'm a member of the labour party but I can't imagine a world in which I would record a speech by Starmer to watch in my spare time. Assume it's either Polanski or Farage as this kind of keen engagement is more common at the margins and he's more likely to be embarrassed in front of his son by a more extreme position.

Spicysirracha · 17/05/2026 14:29

Clopadop · 17/05/2026 14:27

Yes by the looks of it

so in all the years you have been married to him… politics has never been discussed as a family?

onmylastnerveseriously · 17/05/2026 14:30

If it’s Reform then you are both being highly unreasonable in your support. If not, I can’t imagine why he’d lie?

Clopadop · 17/05/2026 14:30

Spicysirracha · 17/05/2026 14:29

so in all the years you have been married to him… politics has never been discussed as a family?

His son is an adult and doesn’t live with us, he used to come on weekends when he was a teen but wasn’t into politics then so no, we’ve never discussed politics with him (unless DH has when I’m not there)

OP posts:
SnappyQuoter · 17/05/2026 14:31

Who first voiced their support for this party? Was it you, and he just nodded along and now follows and watches them as a performance for you?

Spicysirracha · 17/05/2026 14:31

Just weird that you are obviously very and overtly political - and add in the tumultuous political landscape of recent years - that politics has never come up over the dining table, Christmases etc

JLou08 · 17/05/2026 14:31

You both sound as bad as each other. Him for lying, you for humiliating him.

Spicysirracha · 17/05/2026 14:32

I suspect he’s just doing it for an easy life for you op
and then changes to agree with his son
but in reality he’s just apolitical and goes with the loudest voice

SnappyQuoter · 17/05/2026 14:33

JLou08 · 17/05/2026 14:31

You both sound as bad as each other. Him for lying, you for humiliating him.

He brought the humiliation on himself. If you’re going to behave like a lying two faced idiot with no commitment to what you claim are your political values, then you deserve it. He sounds deeply stupid actually.

Spicysirracha · 17/05/2026 14:33

Care to share the party you’re signed up to?

Clopadop · 17/05/2026 14:33

SnappyQuoter · 17/05/2026 14:31

Who first voiced their support for this party? Was it you, and he just nodded along and now follows and watches them as a performance for you?

I’ve been a member for years so probably me but I’ve never told him who he should support

OP posts:
runawaytrain19 · 17/05/2026 14:33

God I find this tedious. Politics right now is so divisive, I think it’s perfectly understandable why some people would want to just agree with who they’re talking to to keep conversation pleasant, especially with a family member. I’ve recently had a conversation with my own husband telling him there’s no need to share his/our political opinions with family, it’s just not necessary. I’d be fuming if he tried to gotcha me by revealing who I’d voted for at the last election in a conversation with anyone else.

Slightyamusedandsilly · 17/05/2026 14:37

If it's Reform you support, I'm not surprised he was embarrassed to admit he supports them (which I accept he probably does). It just means he's self aware enough to know they're racist t*ats and he doesn't want others to know his support. Fair play. He's right. They're an embarrassment. Keep your support secret in case you get labelled ignorant like them.

SnappyQuoter · 17/05/2026 14:38

Clopadop · 17/05/2026 14:33

I’ve been a member for years so probably me but I’ve never told him who he should support

I didn’t mean that you forced him into it.
I just wondered if he had this identity before you said anything, but it appears he didn’t and he simply went along with it because you support them. Which signals he has quite a weak mind actually, doesn’t have the knowledge or confidence to choose his own political values. Then he has done it again for his son; just copied what he thought.

That’s quite unattractive as a quality.

Spicysirracha · 17/05/2026 14:38

runawaytrain19 · 17/05/2026 14:33

God I find this tedious. Politics right now is so divisive, I think it’s perfectly understandable why some people would want to just agree with who they’re talking to to keep conversation pleasant, especially with a family member. I’ve recently had a conversation with my own husband telling him there’s no need to share his/our political opinions with family, it’s just not necessary. I’d be fuming if he tried to gotcha me by revealing who I’d voted for at the last election in a conversation with anyone else.

This.

Your DH is apolitical and just goes with the flow for an easy life

Spicysirracha · 17/05/2026 14:38

Slightyamusedandsilly · 17/05/2026 14:37

If it's Reform you support, I'm not surprised he was embarrassed to admit he supports them (which I accept he probably does). It just means he's self aware enough to know they're racist t*ats and he doesn't want others to know his support. Fair play. He's right. They're an embarrassment. Keep your support secret in case you get labelled ignorant like them.

Nailed it

FlapperFlamingo · 17/05/2026 14:47

Despite the fact he lied I wouldn’t have humiliated him. Maybe he was just trying to get on with his son and realised if he disagreed it wouldn’t go well? I don’t agree with his lying of course, but if he doesn’t see his DS that often it may be the reason. By calling him out on it in front of his son you have escalated it.

Clopadop · 17/05/2026 14:49

It’s not bloody reform! Considering i said I’ve been a member for years I would have thought that would be obvious

OP posts:
Makemeinvisible · 17/05/2026 14:49

I would be quite upset about this.

If he is just pretending to support this party to please you I would wonder what else he is dishonest about with you. Because in effect it is deceit and lying.

If he is just trying to curry favour with his son by going along with what his son says he is being deceitful to his son and disrespectful to you.

So in effect you now know he is dishonest and weak. And I would lose respect for him.

Miranda65 · 17/05/2026 14:54

Why not just accept that he's simply not as interested as you? You also don't have to discuss (or agree on) the party that you both vote for. I've been married 30+ years and I've never known how my husband voted - I could have a good guess, but it may have changed over the years, and sometimes it may have been tactical. He would probably say the same about me.
Our votes are between us and the ballot paper - there is no need to tell everyone!

Slightyamusedandsilly · 17/05/2026 15:01

Clopadop · 17/05/2026 14:49

It’s not bloody reform! Considering i said I’ve been a member for years I would have thought that would be obvious

Supporting the BNP is no better dear.

Spicysirracha · 17/05/2026 15:01

Clopadop · 17/05/2026 14:49

It’s not bloody reform! Considering i said I’ve been a member for years I would have thought that would be obvious

Well no given Reform as a political party has existed for 5 years