AIBU to inform the school safeguarding lead after this?

[rebectable]

Daughters friend, 8 years old, turned up at our house at 10pm at night. Walked around 10 mins to our house, and was outside our front door for 12 minutes. Didn't press video doorbell, but hubby noticed it on phone, app notification from sensor. Took her home, parents were in bed. Told mother this morning, who messaged back, apologised, showed some contrition - but hardly loads. Girl sneaked out, took keys, and locked door. Turned up with teddy and pyjamas for "sleepover". My daughter was asleep upstairs. Some kind of sleepover game at school, but nothing arranged. Do I report to school safeguarding lead?

I think teen was supposed to babysit (while parents were out) and didn’t pay attention so sister sneaked out. It might be just misjudging on their part of course but I would expect mum to react a bit differently in her response to you.
I would mention this to school anyway.

Given that all the OP wanted to know was whether she should report it to school or not, the detail you think is lacking is also irrelevant to her question.

meh - not ensuring that a 10 year old wasn't going into a house containing at least one adult is a bit of a safeguarding risk, imo...

Oh, yea, haha. I didn't think that far. I think you are most likely correct.

I don't get why you would assume that the child's parents wouldn't be at home?

Presumably because it’s not that usual for a child to be able to leave her home at before 10pm without the parents noticing.

It is right to report to the school safeguarding lead. But it’s not right when something happens on a Friday night to wait until Monday morning and report to the DSL at school expecting them to sort it for you. As I said previously, safeguarding of children is everyone’s responsibility so op needed to act appropriately, report if necessary and then let the school know on Monday morning what she had done about it.

It's very strange and concerning behaviour. Was the teenage sister looking after her and her parents out? It seems very odd that the 8 year old could get out of the house without anyone knowing and that the child would even think about leaving the house like that.
Have you spoken to your daughter about it?

It’s not really a safeguarding issue to have a teen babysitting. It’s not unusual. The op should have ascertained where the parents were though. In bed or out.

Yes, report it. It's weird

The most glaring safeguarding issue here is that you just dropped her back without telling the parents?!?!!

With the amount of information and context we have, this is also what I would do.

I would have been tempted to call the police! We often made those sort of plans at a similar age, to run away etc. but it was always a fantasy, we never would have followed through with it.

I thought you said mother was asleep? And that girl was being looked after by older sibling who opened the door?

Holy moly I don't get why everyone is flapping. OP delivered her home safely to an elder sibling and asked the mother to make contact. It is definitely not worthy of a 999 call as there was no emergency. Why a young child is out at night is definitely concerning mind so I think an email to the school is valid is a heads up.

Could child have been sleepwalking? My BIL used to sleepwalk when under 11 (late 1950s) and even went out to a neighbours house and knocked on the door. If a sleepover was on a child's mind when they went to bed that might have triggered a dream that made her do this.

I have 4x DDs and have had this happen with DD1 . Both girls asked to have a sleepover but we're told no, they then made a plan for DD bestie to sneak out of her house and cycle to our house the next village over, in the pitch black darkness with very few lamp posts on the main road. Around midnight DH arrived home from trip away and noticed a bike at the side of the house. He came in got ready for bed etc, I woke when he came to bed. He asked which DD got a new bike...long story short we found friend in DD1 room ,her parents had no idea she was with us ... I had no idea!! Drove her home and woke her parents up, they were horrified!!.There's no way your DD had no involvement or knowledge of what was happening. Whether it's a plan or a prank ,i doubt that little girl would've made the journey in the dark if she thought she wouldnt get in? The school should be informed as a "sleepover game" such as this was probably thought up and all plans made at school. Who knows how many other kids have also done this.

I don't think you need to report the family but could let the school know about the "incident" and the "sleepover game" in case its a wider issue and they can talk to the children about safety

@jjW29 She also might have sneaked out because she believed she would be sleeping over at OP’s house! This was the nature of the “game”.

I would have made sure.

Whenever I take someone home I wait until I see them go in the door. A child? At night? I'm handing them over to a parent.

And if that parent was off their tits? I'd be taking the kid back with me if they (kid) wanted that.

With safeguarding you don’t know which piece of the puzzle you’re holding, it may be insignificant, it may be key. You can’t see the full picture. I’d be inclined to tell school.

Yes inform school

Absolutely this.

Tell the people who may have access to more of the picture - if there is one.

When I was a kid there was a girl who played out every evening until dark, after all
the other kids had gone home. As an adult she reported her father for SA.

It seems so obvious now that of course she didn’t want to go home. Nobody realised that a piece of the puzzle was right there in front of us.

Tell school.