To think that "97% of women can breastfeed" is a load of crap

[elliejjtiny]

I've been seeing this phrase a lot over the years, about how 97% of women can breastfeed and all the rest of the people who say they can't just need support.

I would guess that 97% of women can probably produce milk (although I wouldn't be surprised if it was lower) but there is so much more to breastfeeding than the mum producing milk which never seem to be mentioned. Mums with disabilities/medical conditions, babies with disabilities/medical conditions, babies who are born prematurely, mums separated from their babies and mums on medication that means they can't breastfeed.

When people gaily spout that 97% of women can breastfeed I find is so annoying and inaccurate. It's usually the same people who want the number of c-sections reduced as well and think that everyone can give birth with no interventions, they just need to stay mobile and ignore the nasty doctors.

My milk never came in properly and my DS had 90% tongue tie so couldn't latch properly anyway. Spent ages trying to pump and getting very little for my efforts I felt awful about it to. I guess I could technically produce milk but wasn't able to feed my baby.

This is true. All our continued existence proves is that enough babies got enough breastmilk into them from whatever source to allow enough of us to reach reproductive age. There's actually plenty of theoretical room for varying degrees of lactation failure in there, and we know milk sharing is an ancient custom.

There are well known reasons more women need c sections to deliver their babies - age and obesity. There aren’t physiological reasons fewer women in the U.K. can breastfeed so it’s notable so many fewer mums do breastfeed compared with women in other countries. In all countries there will be a small percentage of women who can’t produce milk and babies who struggle to feed. But cultures which normalise feeding - seeing relatives doing all your life etc - have higher rates of breastfeeding. Here you buy a baby doll and it usually comes with a bottle. That’s how formula centric the U.K. is. The default way of feeding a baby is with formula in a bottle, not with human milk from a breast. That’s why women don’t start or stick to it, not because British breasts don’t work the same way as Sri Lankan breasts.

Are you suggesting loads of women physically can’t breastfeed? Why would that be?

Well I'm a gypsy and I only know one woman from my community who has breast fed. We basically all bottle feed.

Of course most women can do it, this is why we have breasts in the first place. Unless your breasts were removed, you can generally physically do it. Of course there are reasons why a woman would choose not to- medication, mental health, just doesn’t want to…

Why? Just because everyone else does?

I worked as a lactation support worker and in my experience a lot of women who wanted to breast feed but think they can’t or that they don’t have enough/any milk to feed their baby . The majority of the time these issues are due to poor latch / struggling with feed on demand. With better support post partum I’m sure many more women would breast feed successfully.

But what does need to stop is the judgement of women whether they breast feed or bottle feed. It’s no one’s business but the parents what they do.

Breastfeeding can be incredibly difficult. It isn’t for every woman. This narrative puts many mums to be off even trying.

That’s interesting, why do you think your community does it less?

It’s not a narrative it’s the truth. Woman should be told the truth.

This is what I struggle with, I hear “my milk didn’t come in” SO often and it simply can’t be true in all the cases I hear it, also, I remember what those early days felt like. When it felt like your baby was getting nothing, I suspect a lot of the women who think their milk didn’t come in actually did it just wasn’t how they were expecting, and that comes down to lack of support (and less community knowledge I guess, I was lucky to be surrounded by BFers who put my mind at rest).

Well I was one of the 3%. My baby was dehydrated and lethargic. The look of relief on his face when he finally got a bottle of formula still makes me feel guilty all these years later.

One of my DC had jaundice that wouldn’t budge past the acceptable time. He was born in winter so exposure to sunlight was difficult. We had to go to hospital to have him checked over. For some reason they kept pushing me to feed him formula. I actually cannot remember why they did this because it was almost 8 years ago but they would not let us leave the hospital until I pumped a certain amount of milk “to prove I could”. I had to pump and also make sure there was enough for him (he was only tiny so supply wasn’t fully established). They kept coming in to check and would say “if you just give him a bottle you can go home”. I held firm and he never had formula, breastfed till 2.

I would like to see more support, I used to volunteer through Surestart to support young mums to breastfeed as they are least likely to have supportive families statistically, but the programme (actually whole centre) was closed in 2012. I’m still in touch with some of those mums, the first of the kids have gone to university. If you have relatives, friends and colleagues who breastfed you are far more likely to because it’s partly a cultural choice, others like me were too lazy to bottle feed, so much faff!

20 years ago, I spent a soul destroying few weeks trying to feed my baby but my milk never came in. All I had were drops. I felt so guilty and a bad mother when I gave up. At that point, my DM revealed the nugget that she had had a similar experience with me, thirty years earlier.

Have you spoken to a mental health professional about your issues around breast and formula feeding? You’d probably benefit from getting some help, there’s no need to feel as upset as you appear to be about it.

I don't know but I genuinely believe that i am one of the 3% who physically can't and it was basically impossible to get anyone to listen to me. I really wish someone would have investigated it properly, my son wasn't gaining weight and I went through a lot of mental anguish that probably could have been avoided. I didn't even try the second time. I had an eating disorder during puberty and I think it affected my development but I guess I'll never know.

It’s not incredibly difficult, that’s an irresponsible statement. Some find it hard, some find it easy.

I found it ridiculously easy. I had enough milk for 5 babies and no discomfort whatsoever. I fed mine for a year at least. It remains one of the best and most enjoyable and most rewarding experiences of my life.

Le Leche league are good and FAB. Support exists.

Over 90% of women in Norway are breastfeeding their babies at 6 weeks old. This shows what can happen with the right support and culture.

More people that tried and didn’t get on with it probably could if they’d had more support. We paid a lactation consultant for support that was amazing, we we EBF a good long time. A friend of mine just didn’t understand the concept of cluster feeding and kept topping up with formula, and then was surprised when her milk dried up. She didn’t understand just putting baby back to boob if they were hungry again was ok. She was then upset their journey ended so quickly, but it was lack of education and support.

of course things do depend on disabilities, medical conditions, baby being happy to breastfeed etc, tongue tie - any of those matters, but there is a fundamental lack of support and education available to people that do want to and then don’t get on with it for whatever reason.

To also caveat - if you didn’t want to and never tried, your choice to make, nobody should have an opinion!

It’s culture rather than support I’d say. Support is there if you want it but I think most give up when it hurts a bit.

It is incredibly hard and not a pleasant experience to boot. Thankfully we have very good alternatives.

Formula exists because companies make money out of it. It’s normalised so women can get back to work, so companies can make money out of them.

10namechangeslater · Today 13:23
Breastfeeding is incredibly difficult.
What you mean is breastfeeding can be incredibly difficult for some women.