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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In hating parents

53 replies

CissyCharlton · 21/06/2008 20:32

Who think they are better parents than everybodt else, simply by being 'fussier' and overly involved in their childrens' lives. There's a mum I've known for a while now who epitomises the 'helicopter mother' thing. She's always in school complaining about something or other, never takes her bloody eyes off her kids, even for one second and smirks when other children do anything wrong. God I hate her.

OP posts:
Flashman · 21/06/2008 21:00

Ditto - now there is a good counter argument.

Cammelia · 21/06/2008 21:01

I've met one or two like that cc, its like they are parenting their children at all other children's expense.

fryalot · 21/06/2008 21:01

tiddliwinks, flashman... now that is a good counter argument

meemar · 21/06/2008 21:02

cissy, I think you need to ignore all the stuff that doesn't directly affect you. It is her problem not yours and what's the point of letting it wear you down.

If she does insult you or your child, or make mean or crass comments you are totally justified in confronting her and saying she's out of order.

There is no need to have this pretence of friendship with her.

Flashman · 21/06/2008 21:05

Squonk - that truly is the greatest counter argument!!

fryalot · 21/06/2008 21:06
Grin
Original poster
CissyCharlton · 21/06/2008 21:10

I am as tough as marshmellow when it comes to her and I think that's what makes me so furious (with her and myself). Flashman. I think that a comment such as 'I don't think I'd want to be to be your friend' or whatever it was deserved a pretty pathetic response.

OP posts:
Flashman · 21/06/2008 21:14

Well I really don't get this compative mum stuff. So why does it make you feel less?? How does it affect you what she does.

soopermum1 · 21/06/2008 21:16

remind yourself that she must have something lacking from her life or low self esteem if she feels she has to slag off others to make herself feel better.

chefswife · 21/06/2008 21:19

mmm, marshmallows... i've got some munchies today. anyhow... you said it yourself, you are the only mother that really talks to her. the others sound like they've wizened up about her bull shit and dumped her. start moving away from her now or she will cause you an ulcer because it sounds like you are normally a very tolerant individual, but she has poked you too many times. life is to short to be bothered by bothersome people.

Original poster
CissyCharlton · 21/06/2008 21:19

I had a party for ds1. She made a big fuss about whether the people doing the party were crb checked. It pissed me off because of course I wouldn't do anything which puts her or my own children at risk. It's her typical over the top reaction. Later, her ds said 'I'd like a ???? type of party (ie. the party I'd had for ds1) but my Mum says that they are horrible.' She also said to me that ds1 had upset her son over soemthing he'd said (typical kids stuff). I'm too fucking polite to say 'well actually do you know what your ds said to mine that had him sobbing all night.' I don't do that because I'm not nuts, but she does it to me all the time and frankly I'm pissed off with it.

OP posts:
Flashman · 21/06/2008 21:27

ok cissy I take back my pervious comment and say sorry - that is a bit loopy. But why let it up set you - there must be ways to piss on her parade that don't make you sound loopy?

Original poster
CissyCharlton · 21/06/2008 21:29

Ladidadi, I haven't meant to ignore you btw. It's just that I'm a little wound up tonight. I chose my name because I love the idea of a mum who taught her two sons to be such fabulous footballers. I really admire the woman.

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 21/06/2008 21:30

Walk in the opposite direction when you see her coming!!

Original poster
CissyCharlton · 21/06/2008 21:31

I know Flash, it is out of character for me. I'm posting in order to try and get a bit of bloody perspective.

OP posts:
colditz · 21/06/2008 21:33

Whatever boastful mothers tell you, feign slight vague concern and say "Oh, see, that would worry me. I'm sure it's fine though." Refuse to elaborate. ie....

"Oh Olga-Trumpington-Froufrou VI, shall I tell Jack's mummy about your fantastic victory in area Being-Incredibly-Clever-And-Smug? She got the highest mark in the whole school, higher than those taking A level Physics, and she's only four, isn't that mahhhhhvelous?"

"Oh .... See, that would worry me. I'm sure she'll be fine, you can quite easily find other ways for her to feel normal."

Flashman · 21/06/2008 21:33

You know I always find the best way to deal with people who are trying to hit me for reactions is to just laugh at them or be dismissive - that really takes the wind out of their sails!

colditz · 21/06/2008 21:34

ORRRR

(and this is a bit of a doozy)

You could say in a very clear voice "Gosh, you're really quite rude, aren't you!" and walk off.

colditz · 21/06/2008 21:37

Orrrr

pretend to be a counceller. Focus entirely on her child and her child's achievements. It doesn't matter that you only talk about her because that's what councillers do - but they also control the session too. So with a smart "Right! Well, I shall have to go (don't elaborate) so I will see you same time tomorrow. Goodbye "

Leave her feeling she has been 'dealt with' - nicely, but dealt with all the same,.

colditz · 21/06/2008 21:38

Can you tell I am a seether?

pardon · 21/06/2008 21:38

She sounds like an arse. Just think 'I've got enough friends' and walk away....

pointydog · 21/06/2008 21:38

ahh cissy!

why do other parenst have to be so freakin weird

Original poster
CissyCharlton · 21/06/2008 21:40

As well as my sense of perspective I've lost my sense of humour Flash. For example, only this afternoon we were talking about the headmistress and how lovely she is when she started telling me in all seriousness about how, when her dd paid the head a lovely complement, she simply had to go and tell her. The usual me would piss myself laughing but all I want to do is roll up my sleeves and punch her on the nose. I have a problem and I know it!

OP posts:
Original poster
CissyCharlton · 21/06/2008 21:42

I've just read back my last post and I'm laughing. I think the recovery begins.

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pointydog · 21/06/2008 21:43

yes. You got carried away. Let us join hands and float back to earth