AIBU - commuter rage

[mamajong]

I work in London 4 times a week and so commute. My commute is quite tight time wise so I am.often rushing to work work or the train. AIBU to feel absolute internal rage towards other people's obliviousness to those around them?

People on mobile phones who walk slowly in the middle of the path so everyone is forced to walk slowly behind them. Not having tickets ready and not moving aside when theres a massive queue, making everyone wait while they fumble around, stopping at the bottom of the escalators to look at their phone making it difficult for people to get off, playing things on their phone out loud with no headphones, man spread on the train, not moving down the carriage on the tube so others can get on...every day I am surrounded by pure selfishness and it really gets me down how manners and consideration of others seems to have gone out of the window. Am I just old and miserable or do others feel this way too?

I would imagine driving a car on a winding A road far more dangerous than a city cyclist

'Clueless' tourists boosting the economy?

If only all the angry drivers stayed off the road, but thank you

There are also plenty of times when I’ve helped to carry a pushchair or big suitcase, or asked a confused looking person if I can help them.

But probably less likely when I’m in commuting mode.

Ha! I suggest:

1. Just move past, if it jostles a bit, tough 🤷‍♀️
2. walk to a different, preferably empty, platform gate in your direction of exit
3. Big smile, grab gently with both hands and move them aside, thank you and thumbs up, another big smile
4. I have no solution for this. Happy to hear what others do!
5. Dig in, stand your leg space, own the arm rest, direct eye contact and big smile but earphones mean you can’t hear them sadly… they really dislike physical contact from a strange woman, so cuddle up. I promise they will repel from you- especially if you are older and they are younger 😁
6. Shout people to move. They will. ID if needed: ‘chap in blue suit, please move down to let others on’

Never got me down, I got irritated though. Tackling it, taking ownership a bit will make you feel better I promise!

Maybe you should just chill a little. The 🌎 does not revolve round you and your work commitments

Yanbu. I commute to London and all of these annoy me too.

Scrolling without headphones/speakerphone calls are by the far the biggest bugbear though. So utterly selfish.

rushing everywhere , being busy all the time , these are signs of failure to me , signs of being in the rat trap , so I have little sympathy for you

i mean I can’t stand how slow some people do walk and wish they were slightly more self aware , but they have as much right as me to go at a pace that suits them. Hastening is not morally better

I agree with you op. But what enrages me even more is the people telling you to chill! Was there ever a more infuriating phrase to say to someone who is venting their spleen?!

edited to say I didn’t mean to specifically quote the post above. You are not the worst offender 😁

Communting to London for 9.30 is still a nightmare, I’ve done it for the past 14 years! OP might not be able to get an earlier train. Many people are dropping kids to nursery/breakfast club/childminder so you are oftem constrained to those hours. My commute was tight for years because of this.

I hated this so much I used to get to my desk for 8am instead of 9am- it was much quieter on the tube- you are in no danger of being late,it worked for me, i even got a seat some of the time.

Agree with this.

I commute three days a week into London, which involves bus, train and tube and takes me 1.5hrs. I'm sure people like you have described exist, but I can't say I really notice that much.

It sounds like you're very stressed and your commute is too tight to be done realistically without such stress.

Anyone rushing and angry - be it on foot, on saddle, in cars, using public transport - annoys me. Just chill out and share the space, and adjust your schedule

Wow, what a horrible post.

I agree with you, it is infuriating. But the only thing you can control is yourself.

Is it a longer, not TFL train you're getting? I don't commute in London but I do sometimes need to go to Manchester - I can either get the train that should get me in by 9 and be 5 mins late - which has never, ever been less than 20 mins btw - or I have to go in an hour earlier which obviously then I have a much earlier start. It's a sacrifice I make in the hope that because I'm getting off earlier, I can therefore get home earlier too.

Of course that train home is most often cancelled so I end up getting the later one anyway <eyeroll> all for the low-low price of just one £20 daily ticket!

That was a lot of waffle to say - any chance you could shift and get an earlier or maybe even a later train? Understandable if you can't, but knowing how absolutely wild with fury I can get when I'm delayed by other people it might do wonders for your state of mind starting your day!

The fact that they are frequently clueless, entitled, and generally annoying does not detract from tourists' economic value. They are a necessary evil, like roadworks.

Yep, and I used to find myself angry and flustered before I even got to work. I don’t miss it!

I agree with this.

The "Chill. Leave earlier" people are either unable to imagine that not everyone has only themselves to accommodate, or deliberately obtuse.

I used to leave at 5am pre kids but was lucky that there was nothing stopping me starting work at or before 7am and finishing correspondingly early - doing this with young/ youngish children requires a second parent taking the hit of leaving later every day.

On the way home it's hard to "chill" if missing your train will mean being late to collect children.

Children are the most obvious commitment but plenty of people have other time sensitive unavoidable commitments and don't have flexibility to start very early and finish very early to allow for missing a train. Plenty of jobs, notably in healthcare, don't accomodate a chilled attitude to leaving early.

There is a third option here - that the "chill, leave earlier" people do completely understand all those obligations but don't see them as a valid reason to be 'raging' at anyone else.

If your commute is so tight that it depends on you rushing through the station such that you're raging at anyone else who's slower than you, the reasonable response is not to carry on raging, it's to change something about your schedule.

I mean, this is just the reality of commuting in London. It’s busy and annoying. Everyone thinks they’re the only one being courteous and it’s everyone else that’s the problem but I bet they and you have done at least one of these behaviours in the past and annoyed everyone else in the same way they annoy you

When I commented to London people used tomleave the train in a huge gaggle and anyone dawdling would be scooped up with the flow … this was getting on for 30 years ago though

Other people can be annoying but it’s not their fault or problem that your commute is on a tight timescale.

True, point taken.

Glad its not just me - appreciate the support and all the valid alternative suggestions and opinions.

Obviously if leaving earlier and allowing more time was an option I would do that but due to the length and timings its just not possible.

Ive said it before and I'll say it again I absolutely do not go around pushing, shoving or behaving aggressively towards anyone - my rage is purely internal frustration and bafflement at simple courtesies, such as moving down the tube to let others on, are commonly ignored by others.

Of course my tight schedule is no one else's problem, but on occasions when im visiting for social reasons I can still be aware of people rushing for a train and give them the space to hurry by, even when I don't need to.

But on balance commuting allows me to earn the salary to give my kids a better life than I had so I will use some of the ideas to chill a bit and accept not everyone knows the 'rules' and thats ok

Loads of sympathy with the OP, I find it REALLY hard to walk at any one else’s pace.

Obviously I know the world can’t walk
as fast as me but it’s so frustrating to walk slow when you want to bustle.