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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Worried about my 18 year old son buying joke shirts from Afflecks Palace

442 replies

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 19:50

Hi everyone, I’m after some advice because I’m really not sure if I’m overreacting or not. My son is 18 and has started going into Manchester at weekends with his university mates. They’ve been spending time in Afflecks Palace, which I know is full of alternative stalls, but he came back yesterday with a couple of t-shirts from the shop on the top floor that does the t-shirt printing.
One of them says “Don’t bully me, I’ll cum” and the other was along similar lines with crude sexual humour. He thought they were hilarious and just a bit of edgy fun, but I’m honestly concerned. At 18 he’s an adult, yet these kinds of slogans seem to normalise really objectifying and inappropriate attitudes, especially towards women and sex. I’ve tried speaking to him about it calmly, explaining why it bothers me, but he just laughed it off and said it’s only a joke.
Has anyone else come across these sorts of shirts in Afflecks or had their own son or daughter bring something similar home? Am I making too much of it, or is this worth having a firmer conversation about? Any thoughts on how to approach it without it escalating would be really helpful. Thanks.

OP posts:
cinnamonmilkandhoney · 14/05/2026 19:51

Yeah you’re making too much of it. I wore T-shirts at 15 my parents hated and that was 1999

PuttyTat · 14/05/2026 19:54

I don't let my DC wear swear words or anything sexual in my presence because it's disrespectful and inappropriate, IMO, between kids and parents.

What they do in their own space and in their own time, is their business, but I'm confident my parenting skills will override whatever immaturity they're going through, currently.

I pierced my eyebrow and wore chains when I was 18.

I wear turtlenecks, now, and own 1 short sleeve t-shirt.

Things change.

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 19:55

I agree. I find it tacky and offensive. I've always hated that Afflecks place.

OP posts:
cinnamonmilkandhoney · 14/05/2026 19:56

I don’t think any parents have ever approved of it which is kind of the point really. He’s 18, if a stupid T-shirt is the worst thing he’s done…

itsmeits · 14/05/2026 19:57

I like you ill kill you last - is my fave AP top

Its a top, buy him an apron with a woman's body on it and get over yourself.

Why do you hate it?

He's 18 he can shop where he wants

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 19:57

cinnamonmilkandhoney · 14/05/2026 19:56

I don’t think any parents have ever approved of it which is kind of the point really. He’s 18, if a stupid T-shirt is the worst thing he’s done…

He's always been a sensitive soul, So seeing that, Just hurt. Using "Bullying" in a sexual context is a disgrace. And 18 is still not exactly old. He's not a child but not an adult fully either.

OP posts:
IDontHateRainbows · 14/05/2026 19:57

The minute you show you disapprove, the attraction to doing it increases x 1000.

My son wanted to buy a cannabis leaf hat at a festival last year I let him and just ignored it.

EverythingGolden · 14/05/2026 19:58

I think you’ve told him you don’t like it and that’s about all you can do. Hopefully he’ll soon learn that it’s tacky and cringey but he has to learn this for himself.

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 19:59

Because it makes light of bullying. And the other one he bought was "MILF" and "Fentanyl" in the design of Fanta!

OP posts:
EwwPeople · 14/05/2026 20:00

At that age my two favourite T-shirts said “Pornstar in training” and “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go wherever they want”. I know… I know. I thought I was ohh soo cool. 🙄I grew up though. 8 years later I was in a committed relationship (still married now) , with a house and a baby on the way.

PuttyTat · 14/05/2026 20:00

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 19:59

Because it makes light of bullying. And the other one he bought was "MILF" and "Fentanyl" in the design of Fanta!

I think the youth are getting really tired of word policing and PC culture. They are into counter culture just like we were at our age. We all grow up with time.

FionnulaTheCooler · 14/05/2026 20:00

When you're at university is the time to do stupid shit like this. I had one of those FCUK t shirts that were popular in the late 90s with the slogan "FCUK me on the beach." I'm sure my parents didn't approve but meh, I grew out of teen edginess in due course.

Devondevs · 14/05/2026 20:00

I’m 30 years old. I need that “Don’t bully me, I’ll cum” T-shirt. 100% wearing that out.

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 20:01

PuttyTat · 14/05/2026 20:00

I think the youth are getting really tired of word policing and PC culture. They are into counter culture just like we were at our age. We all grow up with time.

Well yes, but calling a woman a MILF, is disgusting, degrading and as a boy, he shouldn't be wearing it. Obscene-a-tee i believe he called it, I wanted to confront them but DH talked me out of it.

OP posts:
StarlingWaters · 14/05/2026 20:02

I would have absolutely worn that t shirt as a teenager had it been available in the late 90s

PuttyTat · 14/05/2026 20:02

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 20:01

Well yes, but calling a woman a MILF, is disgusting, degrading and as a boy, he shouldn't be wearing it. Obscene-a-tee i believe he called it, I wanted to confront them but DH talked me out of it.

It is but just tell him to not wear it around you. It is meant to shock and you are giving them the reaction they're after!

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 20:02

StarlingWaters · 14/05/2026 20:02

I would have absolutely worn that t shirt as a teenager had it been available in the late 90s

I would've hoped your mother would've made you see sense.

OP posts:
EverythingGolden · 14/05/2026 20:03

It just says MILF and nothing else?

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 20:03

PuttyTat · 14/05/2026 20:02

It is but just tell him to not wear it around you. It is meant to shock and you are giving them the reaction they're after!

I wanted to rip it off of him and call him a pig, I was that angry about it.

OP posts:
ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 20:04

EverythingGolden · 14/05/2026 20:03

It just says MILF and nothing else?

It also said "Man I love Frogs" but that isn't what they were meaning, was it?

OP posts:
itsmeits · 14/05/2026 20:05

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 20:01

Well yes, but calling a woman a MILF, is disgusting, degrading and as a boy, he shouldn't be wearing it. Obscene-a-tee i believe he called it, I wanted to confront them but DH talked me out of it.

They have a GILF one 😂
So maybe be happy he's only after the mums and not the grannies

Confront him about what?
All he will do is by more!

JazzyJelly · 14/05/2026 20:05

It sounds pretty tame to me. He's not joking about anything hurting anyone else. If it was sexist or racist or something I'd be concerned. Being 18 is for learning what's funny and what's poor taste.

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 20:06

JazzyJelly · 14/05/2026 20:05

It sounds pretty tame to me. He's not joking about anything hurting anyone else. If it was sexist or racist or something I'd be concerned. Being 18 is for learning what's funny and what's poor taste.

MILF is offensive and sexist.

OP posts:
PuttyTat · 14/05/2026 20:07

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 20:03

I wanted to rip it off of him and call him a pig, I was that angry about it.

Goodness!

EwwPeople · 14/05/2026 20:08

ForSparklyFatball · 14/05/2026 20:03

I wanted to rip it off of him and call him a pig, I was that angry about it.

His behaviour is a lot more normal than yours.

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