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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why parents choose to forward face their child from a young age?

170 replies

incognito1991 · 11/05/2026 11:21

Genuinely no judgement I’m just curious, when I had my DD 2 years ago, I knew absolutely nothing about car seat safety and admittedly I still don’t know a lot. When looking into it I learned that children are so much safer rear facing for as long as possible and defiantly between the ages of 0-4. I have removed myself off some car seat safety groups as feel they can be too much sometimes but I was wondering if this is the best guidance why do parents choose to forward face from the legal age?

OP posts:
Sprogonthetyne · 11/05/2026 12:35

Whilst I agree rear facing is safer, both mine turned befor 4, for different reasons.

My eldest turned at 3 because I was having a c-secction with 2nd, so couldn't lift him into the rear facing seat. He couldn't get the hang of climbing into the seat when it was rear facing (some sen & coordination issues), but could ff. Overall, it felt like a better option then being housebound for months.

Second turned when she reached 18kg, as that was the weight limit of our rear facer. She was around 3.5, in an ideal world I could have brought a seat that RF until 25kg, but there is a big jump in price and £300+ is a lot for something that would only have been used another 6 month-1 year.

Floppyearedlab · 11/05/2026 12:36

Balloonhearts · 11/05/2026 12:02

I did because she gets horrifically car sick going backwards and car seats aren't perfectly upright, they tip you back slightly. She vomited, choked and if her 7 year old brother hadn't been sitting next to her and saw what was happening, I wouldn't have heard a thing.

He shouted to me, but I couldn't pull over instantly as was on a very fast dual carriageway. He pulled her out, tipped her forward and thumped her back but it was very scary. Mostly because she didn't make any noise. She's been forward facing ever since. Obviously forward facing from a year old isn't ideal but the risk of her throwing up again is higher than the risk of a car accident.

Gosh how scary and what a brilliant boy you have!

We are the same. One child got very travel sick and as I was the exact same at her age and still can’t travel backwards on a train I won’t subject her to it

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 11/05/2026 12:38

I came on to say travel sickness too.

I think if you don’t suffer from it, it’s hard to imagine how awful it is

SherlockIsHome · 11/05/2026 12:42

He'd scream and panic until he vomited until we forward faced

DD happy to rear face so we plan to go until 3 or 4

Blahblahblahabla · 11/05/2026 12:45

We have a 360 and switch the facing depending on the journey. For motorways it’s rear facing. Don’t have an issue with forward facing from 1 for toddling round the town.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 11/05/2026 12:48

DD1 and DS were perfectly fine. I used to wonder why people did forward facing so early… then DD2 happened and oh my fucking god that child can scream and puke.

I couldn’t drive safely with that at all. To be honest we tend to use public transport more than the car now when we’re going into town. They don’t all fit in my Fiat 500 and I’m not giving her up to get a bigger car till I have to. If we’re going somewhere as a family we take DH’s ugly car which he normally drives. I can drive it but I’m not great at parking it.

JC89 · 11/05/2026 12:49

It only fits when the front seat is quite far forward, further than is good for driving for us. So when the second child came along, they went behind the passenger seat, older child (he was 3 anyway) went forward facing behind the driver's seat.

Wonderknicks · 11/05/2026 12:52

ManufacturedConcerns · 11/05/2026 11:57

Do you mean extended rear facing wasn't a thing? Because rear facing for babies definitely was.

30 years ago they went in a rear facing seat until about 9 months. The seats were just little baby carriers so they soon grew out of them

SpringIsTgeBest647 · 11/05/2026 12:54

I forward faced my 15 month old after I crashed the car in a parking lot because of his screaming.

He had been screaming in his car seat since he was born. Any journey over 5 minutes (we never went anywhere more than 20 minutes away) was hell. Complete hell. Lots of singing and games and toys placated him for the first 5 minutes of a journey.

My nervous system was shot, I started developing anxiety about driving!

The second I forward faced him, he stopped crying.

Edited to say I myself suffer from travel sickness so I suspect he's the same but couldn't say it obviously.

mondaytosunday · 11/05/2026 12:55

Four? My kid could have passed as an six year old he was so big!

Unicornsandprincesses · 11/05/2026 12:57

My daughter is 6.5 years old and still rear faces. Will be updating her car seat soon to FF

intend to give my son her seat soon and rear faces him until he is 4+

Didimum · 11/05/2026 13:00

We moved our twins forward facing at 15 months old. Travel sickness and inconsolable crying were the reasons. That x2 is horrendous. We did no motorway driving. We were experiencing unsafe episodes of driving due to the impact.

Excited101 · 11/05/2026 13:01

Hope you’ve got your hard hat on op, car seats are something which the vast majority would do poorly than admit they might have got it wrong.

car sickness can often be solved by other things and behavioural issues need solving in other ways rather than just turning them forward.

but, ignorance is bliss and all that/ luckily most people won’t have severe accidents to make their poor sense of safety and lack of knowledge make a difference.

Hecatee · 11/05/2026 13:05

Can I ask, with genuine curiosity, what the point of being of one (especially multiple) car seat groups is? I know it sounds like a smart arse question, but I just really wonder what you get from that?

Iwanttobeafraser · 11/05/2026 13:09

I was completely comfortable with the slightly increased risk of a forward facing seat in return for a 100000x better driving experience and more comfortable seat for by DC as we had a small car. I used to watch poor DN with his feet up on the seat in front because he couldn't fit and think, "I'll take the risk" thank you. The same SIL won't take her car on long journeys because statistically, trains are safer. That's a choice she makes that I wouldn't ever make.

The reality is that we make decisions where we balance risk vs convenience all the time. This one is just more contentious because there are specific guidelines and the moment the government says something, people get a whole lot more vocal about it.

Other risk/reward things we make decisions about all the time are things like when and how to allow our children out independently, or to stay at home alone. When and how to allow them to have alcohol. When to use kitchen equipment etc etc etc.

FourSevenThree · 11/05/2026 13:12

I'm curious now (as I haven't got to that phase yet), what does "much safer" mean? Double? Ten times? 100 times? And in which situations is it safer? High speed crash? I suppose that for a parking lot accident it doesn't really matter.

I imagine that the safety gain from any approved correctly installed car seat is much bigger than the bonus of specific model/rear facing.

ThatLilacTiger · 11/05/2026 13:18

I'm not sure but I've had to completely grey rock my mother in law on the issue because she is absolutely determined to forward face even under 18 months, as though any suggestion otherwise is a personal attack on her. Just constant hassle and nagging and passive aggressive digs. I can only assume at this point that she wants them to get injured in a crash and so I no longer engage on the topic.

Namechangingagain12345 · 11/05/2026 13:18

Because they view it as some sort of milestone that means their child is advanced.

The same reason that they allow a child under the 125cm and/or 22kg child to sit on a backless booster or a child under 135cm having no seat? Not informed enough and peer pressure. I had my kid's teacher child (age 6) bullying my 6 year old because mine was sitting in a high back booster and she was a big kid as she was in a backless one. There is no way she is 125cm.

It also doesn't help that the big retailers don't have extended rear facing seats.

ThatLilacTiger · 11/05/2026 13:20

FourSevenThree · 11/05/2026 13:12

I'm curious now (as I haven't got to that phase yet), what does "much safer" mean? Double? Ten times? 100 times? And in which situations is it safer? High speed crash? I suppose that for a parking lot accident it doesn't really matter.

I imagine that the safety gain from any approved correctly installed car seat is much bigger than the bonus of specific model/rear facing.

5 times, I believe.

Arcticbattle32 · 11/05/2026 13:24

Backwards facing wasn’t much of thing 15+ years ago, except for very small babies. 40 years ago it was just a Moses basket on the back seat - and try not to break too sharply! Personally I like to be able to see the child. My two survived!

BeFluentTraybake · 11/05/2026 13:28

Nbu. Id rather a screaming or sick toddler than an internally decapitated one. Will rf mine as long as we can !

Enko · 11/05/2026 13:30

TeenToTwenties · 11/05/2026 11:37

backwards facing wasn't a thing for me 20 years ago.
What I find somewhat weird, is, if backwards facing is safer, why aren't cars designed with the back seats rear facing?

My oldest is 28 and it was a thing back then. A quick google says

1980s-90s: Rear-facing seats became the standard recommendation, with legal requirements for child seats generally coming into force in the late 1980s and strengthening in 1993 and 2006..

BeFluentTraybake · 11/05/2026 13:32

mondaytosunday · 11/05/2026 12:55

Four? My kid could have passed as an six year old he was so big!

Skeletal calcification doesnt actually happen until 5+ regardless of centile. Thats why its advised beyond 4 - internal decapitation from something we'd experience as whiplash

MrsW9 · 11/05/2026 13:35

We had every intention of rear-facing for as long as possible, but with a second child we now can't fit a second large rear-facing seat behind the driver's seat.

BertieBotts · 11/05/2026 14:47

Surely this is a slightly goady question since you said yourself you didn't know anything and only chose to RF because of info you found online. Not everyone will find that info, and it is the norm to sit FF so the assumption is usually that once babies are out of the first seat, it's a switch to FF. From our own childhood experiences we probably also only remember FF seats for toddlers, unless your parent was a very early ERF adopter or you grew up in Sweden.

Two things have changed this in my observation. The rule on newer seats that babies must remain RF by law until 15 months, which usually overlaps with at least their first few months in the second stage seat, and secondly that so many seats are available on the market allowing RF up to 105cm (approx age 4). But these are recent shifts, only in the last 10 years or so.

I think everyone should make their own decision and being a travel sickness sufferer myself, I totally understand turning for that and would agree the benefit outweighs the risk if DC is older than 15 months, and more so the older they are.

Ultimately there absolutely will be scenarios where FF makes sense for a family over RF regardless of the safety benefits. I am not as zealous as some ERF advocates because statistically, using a seat vs not using a seat (including major mistakes so that it doesn't work) makes much more difference than RF vs FF.
However, out of everything else, RF vs FF does make the biggest difference, so it is worth knowing about. There is even an argument that RF can counteract some of the more minor mistakes with car seats e.g. straps being slightly but not hugely too loose. If your seat meets any legal standard, is properly used according to the instructions, and is RF, it will offer better protection than any FF seat, with the possible exception of Cybex Anoris.

Still, some myth busting Smile

forward-facing seats are usually significantly cheaper than extended rear-facing ones

Not really true any more - the most popular seats sold are spin seats which can go in both directions. They cost about £150-200. Purely FF seats are actually much rarer to see now.

True that the super cheapest possible seats for £60ish are forward facing only, but there are a couple of super cheap RF seats as well for under £100 - Halfords Impala and the Joie/Graco belt fitted ones.

You don't need a £300+ Swedish seat to rear face. Although they can be worth it if you want more leg room, have a tall child, or need more front to back space.

no leg room/tall child

The seats sold in Sweden, where RF is a cultural norm and which are legally approved throughout Europe including the UK, are designed for long legged Swedish children. They can be moved away from the seat back to make more leg room. In the cheaper seats, children still don't usually get to a point their legs are actually squashed until they are more like 2. And it is safe for them to cross their legs in the seat, rest them up on the back rest or over the sides of the seat, if they are comfortable like this.

most accidents are from being rear ended, therefore rear [forward?] facing is safer. Makes me think if I was in a head on accident, would rear facing be pointless

It's not true most accidents are rear shunts. Statistically at least one car has to have a frontal collision, even in a rear or side impact. But also rear shunts are the least dangerous type of collision, and in a RF seat the child is further away from the point of impact, which can be beneficial especially if the crash is so severe there is intrusion into the passenger compartment. Apparently the only way a RF seat would come off worse is if you reversed at speed into someone. Most reversing accidents happen while parking, at low speed. RF seats also come off better in side impacts, which is thought to be because drivers will instinctively brake when anticipating an impact, which pushes the child backwards into their seat (or forwards, out of a FF seat) and so their head is better contained by any head protection. Side impact testing as done in a crash test lab is usually done as though the car were stationary.

Anti rebound protection which stops the seat ramping back up in the rebound phase of a frontal crash, such as anti rebound bars or the tethers on a larger RF seat can also help against rear impacts.

If it isn’t safe then surely they should stop selling forward facing for younger children.

The age has been raised - it is now 15 months minimum rather than the older rule of 9kg minimum with guidance of 9 months. In some US states and I think Canada, the rule is 2 years. Personally I would prefer the law to be 2 years, but I do also agree that parents should be able to make the decision about exactly when. However, I don't think parents have access to good information currently as the advice tends to be very polarised, which is not at all helpful. One year olds and younger are particularly vulnerable to spinal cord injuries without head impact, which means that the actual construction of the seat has caused the injury, this is likely to do with their relatively large heads. As children get older, the risk of this kind of injury in FF seats reduces. Under 15 months, the risk is unnacceptably high, but personally I would not be keen to rush to FF as soon as they hit 15 months (barring severe difficulties with RF) as it is still higher than it would be for an older child. OTOH I think the older the child is the more other factors may play into the decision, and as said previously, using any kind of seat still makes a bigger difference than using a RF compared with FF seat.

what does "much safer" mean?

Not 5x. That was a study which was later withdrawn because the maths was wrong. It's difficult to give exact numbers. The best and most helpful stat I saw was that up to age 4, a child in a RF seat has approximately the same risk of injury or death as an adult wearing a seatbelt. A child in a FF seat has approximately the same risk of injury or death as an adult not wearing a seatbelt. Children who are unrestrained or inappropriately restrained are at much higher risk of injury or death than adults, because their bodies are smaller and less developed. This is averaged over 0-4 years. So children at the lower end of that age spectrum will be at much higher risk regardless of restraint type and so RF is much more critical for them. A 4 year old in a properly used FF seat is probably closer to an adult in a seatbelt than an adult with no seatbelt. But averaged out across the age group, it's a startling figure.

The other way we can compare it is looking at crash testing in labs and see the difference in numbers. The forces on vulnerable parts of the body (the head, spinal cord and abdomen being the main three areas focused on) are much higher in FF seats compared with RF, and for older children (4-8) much higher in seatbelts compared with car seats or booster seats. Roughly 3-4x higher loads to the child's spinal cord is seen in FF seats. That doesn't mean anything unless you know where the threshold for injury is. That's what the Swedish Plus Test aims to look at, so if you want to know that a seat is crash tested and the dummy experienced loads of less than the threshold which would cause spinal cord injury, you want a Swedish Plus Tested seat and they are all rear facing. Not all RF seats pass the Plus test but all Plus tested seats are rear facing. It is possible that Cybex Anoris (which uses an airbag) also gets numbers less than this, because they very quickly changed the test criteria when that seat came along to ensure that only RF seats were allowed to be tested, and that the seat has to pass without the aid of airbags which could fail to inflate, which I find a bit suspicious. However older data does show a clear difference in neck loading between RF and FF seats in general. This is an interesting read with some graphs: http://erfmission.com/crash-course-crash-testing/

The other way it has been looked at is long scale studies looking at real life crashes where children died or suffered serious injury in FF seats and using expert analysis and data from the crash scene (if recorded) to work out whether the injuries could have been prevented with use of a RF seat. The first study of this nature (in 2008) found it was likely to have been possible in about 3 out of every 4 cases and was part of the basis for increasing the FF age to 15 months (though the outcome of the study was to recommend 4 years), the more recent one (in 2024) found it was likely to have been possible in about 2 out of every 3 cases. This probably tells you FF seats have got better and usage has increased, rather than RF has got less protective. Again this refers to all children under the age of 4, and the span of accidents used as case studies tends to go back about 20 years because there just aren't that many fatal accidents involving children, thankfully, so the figures are always somewhat playing catch up. But it does still happen even in recent years with current seat models that children die or are injured in FF seats and a RF one would have helped. It's unlikely that FF seats will ever fully catch up to RF. But using a FF seat is still a good choice if RF doesn't work for some reason.

There will always be crashes where they are so severe no child seat would help. There will always be crashes which are so minor nobody is injured. The place where RF makes a difference is the group in the middle.

driving slowly

Some people have commented about "pootling around town" or driving at 20mph. This is still a fairly significant speed, it's not a bumper car (they drive at about 4-7mph for reference). Because velocity (speed) is squared when calculating impact, it's a larger difference than you'd think in impact force which is why a car accident at 20mph can cause injury whereas bumper cars tend not to - it's nearly 10x the amount of force (49 vs 400) and then a jump up to 30mph isn't 50% worse than 20mph, it's over twice as severe (400 vs 900). That is only an extremely rough calculation, because other numbers go into calculating the severity of a crash, but a helpful rule of thumb is if you're thinking about speed, always square it to understand the difference between different speeds in crashes.

All car seats legal for sale on the UK/EU market are crash tested up to 30mph, and this is not an easy test to pass. The speed is chosen because if you have designed a product which can withstand a crash at 30mph and protect the child occupant, it's a reasonable chance that it will provide at least some protection in a higher speed/impact crash. ADAC/Which?/NCAP test at a higher speed of 40mph and indeed the vast majority of child seats tested do well on this, although occasionally a seat will fail dramatically - often the extreme budget end of the market, although not always. They also clearly show better results from RF seats.

Will a FF seat protect adequately in slower crashes? Quite possibly. But don't assume that RF makes no difference at all - it still does. "Slow" crashes are still violent events which are hugely impactful on the body and car seats (and car safety features in general) are primarily designed around that kind of 20-40mph kind of crash, because they are the most frequent, because they are impactful enough for the results to transfer to higher speed crashes and because they best represent this "window" where the design of the car seat makes a difference to outcomes.

A Crash Course - in Crash Testing

A Crash Course – in Crash Testing

Just because a car seat has passed standard testing – doesn’t mean it’s passed all testing. There are several crash tests that are superior to the standard R44.04 crash test. Let’s take…

http://erfmission.com/crash-course-crash-testing/