I hate being a widow

[lightreceiver]

Just that, really. I’ve survived for three years without my beautiful DH and it’s just a ginormous pile of shit. I hate having to be strong, having to cope with this life without him. I want one of his bear hugs and I want to be shagged silly (which he was bloody good at). Not really an AIBU, more of a rant. I’ll probably feel better tomorrow but tonight I’m feeling rubbish. I miss him.

I’m sorry, that really sucks. No advice because…well there isn’t is there?

I hear you. That does sound crap. For me these kinds of thoughts tend to be worst around this time of night. Remember that tomorrow is a fresh day. Try to get some sleep if you can. 😘

I’m so sorry for your loss and pain. I can empathise as my DH died just before Christmas 2024. 🌺

Oh i am sorry op 💐❤️

I’m so sorry to hear this OP.

My husband is currently dying and has been given just a few months to live.

It’s all been such a shock as just a few months ago he was still working and felt fine.

Life can take some very cruel twists and turns 🌹

So sorry for your loss OP (and others).

If it helps, tell us about him and what made him the amazing man he was.
If not, just know that we hear you.

I'm so sorry for your awful loss, he sounds like he was a lovely man. 💐

That sounds really tough. Big virtual hugs ❤️

I am so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. It's been 5 years for me. If I could, I'd give you a big hug. Take care of yourself and know it's ok to feel like that.

My sympathy to OP and all the pp on the thread who have gone through or are going through this awful rite of passage of losing their life partner in this tragic way.

My DH died suddenly 20 years ago. And my life changed irrevocably that day in a way that only those who have gone through it understand. Things do get better eventually but I still haven't taken on board fully that I'll never see my DH again, even after all these years.

I’m sorry for your loss, and of others on the thread. I know it’s exhausting and feels ultimately unrewarding. What’s the point in successfully surviving, in managing all the stuff you manage, picking up all the things he used to do… it’s an achievement, but not one we’d take joy in.

Having seen my mum cope with losing my lovely dad, I am trying to be more anware and appreciative of all the small things DH does without me noticing. Many things ‘don’t work’ in mums house, because she still thinks Dad didn’t do any housework. In reality he was quietly unblocking sinks, cleaning stains, tightening knobs and handles for decades.

So sorry for your loss.

I’m sorry for your loss, OP, and for the losses of everyone else on the thread.💐

I hear you too. I am four years on and our wedding anniversary is coming up which always heightens things for me. Life just isn't what it was supposed to be is it? Lots of friends drop away, people don't talk about them anymore and life just generally feels shit at times. It does get less intense though and life fits around the new you even with the dark days that come along and sucker punch you.

Four years since my OH died - I miss him so much, and the life we had together. I am doing my best to build a new life, but the light has gone out.

Been there got the t-shirt.... it's horrid.
I was pregnant at the time he died.
It's a long time ago and I still miss him some days, and still have vivid dreams about him.
But life goes and .... now I'm finding most of my friends are married and constantly moaning about their husbands.
I find a smugness about them, some of them do everything together, no time for me..... and sadly their world will come crashing down for them one day.
The circle of life, some days it really sucks.
Life goes on regardless.

Good luck to you all finding your feet and moving on.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
He sounds wonderful.
I hope you feel better soon

💐 So sorry OP. Wonderful you have happy memories. Try to keep looking after yourself as much as possible. Sleep, a big glass of water with lemon, go out when you can. All small things but they do add up. 💐

I am sorry for your loss
your feelings are valid.

So sorry

It’s the most awful club to be in, isn’t it?

DH passed 16 months ago. Life has changed beyond recognition. Our close loving blended family has just melted away. Our common denominator no longer here. I’ve tried and tried. I’m not sure if I am an active Reminder of the grief they can’t deal with or maybe they never did like me, but I’m sure they did.

Sending you a very big un mumsnetty hug 💐💐💐

I am so sorry OP.

I cant imagine living without my DH and dreading if the time comes. I always wish if one of us should go, I would go first.

Reading your post and I'm bawling.

xxx

I’m so very sorry, OP.

Thinking of you, and others on this thread 💐

Sending huge strength to you, I know how tough it is. My husband had pancreatic cancer and it was also far too quick. 7 months from diagnosis to losing him. Hugs xx

It's utterly cack, isn't it? @lightreceiver.
My lovely DH died suddenly and unexpectedly nearly 10 years ago. I'm OK but not much fun in my life. It's a drag always having to be the grown-up.

Much love to all the bereaved on this thread.