I hate being a widow

[lightreceiver]

Just that, really. I’ve survived for three years without my beautiful DH and it’s just a ginormous pile of shit. I hate having to be strong, having to cope with this life without him. I want one of his bear hugs and I want to be shagged silly (which he was bloody good at). Not really an AIBU, more of a rant. I’ll probably feel better tomorrow but tonight I’m feeling rubbish. I miss him.

Thank you all for such lovely replies. And I’m so sorry to all of you who have lost your someone. One lovely poster asked me to talk about my DH. He was just completely splendid in every way. On our first date my cheeks hurt from laughing so much and I knew that night I’d met the man I was going to marry. We built the most lovely life together with four dogs and a rescue cat called Clever Bollocks (DH named him). Our house was chaotic, wonderful and full of laughter and DH’s mad DIY experiments. He made me feel so completely loved and safe.

I think this is the best post I’ve ever read on here ❤️❤️ your life with your DH sounded beautiful and hilarious. Random question, as I completely understand if you’d rather keep your memories of your life with your DH private and for yourself only, but would you ever consider writing a book about them? I’d read it x

2 years for me. We were long distance at first and visited each other every 3 weeks. Whenever he was with me life felt normal, and during the gaps between I felt like I was stuck in "waiting mode" just going through the motions until the next visit.

I moved across the country to be with him after 6 months and life seemed to properly start then. 15 years later I lost him. It's like my brain won't fully process he's gone and keeps expecting him to come back. So now I'm stuck in perpetual waiting mode for a thing that is never going to happen.

I just googled "widows" in search of others who could maybe understand this void that is now my life. I have such a pain in my soul. I lost my husband of 12 years just three months ago - the day before Valentine's Day this year. Friday the 13th of all days. I can't help this feeling that I wish I could fast forward to the end of my own life to a time and place where we can be together again. Every day that passes the farther away he feels, which is so unbearable. At the same time I just can't process that this is reality. That he's really gone forever. I just feel like he's going to walk through the door any day. My brain just won't accept it. Like he can't be really gone. To those of you who still have your partner... Enjoy the time you have, treat each other well and don't take your love for granted.

It’s so difficult isn’t it? I lost my wife nearly six years ago now and it was horrible. We had a three year old daughter too. Fortunately I’m lucky to have amazing family and friends who helped and things are much better now.

I found having things to look forward to helped hugely. Little day trips or evenings out. Sounds like you have a lot on with so many pets!

It's only been 3 months for me and it's seeming that the first year has to be the hardest for so many reasons. Our son turned 15 today. First birthday without our whole family there. Yet every birthday will be like this from now on. It's not right, it's not fair. Why is it always the best ones that get cut short on life? I would do anything for just one more day with him. How can this possibly
ever get better?

Solidarity and love to all fellow members of the shitty club x 4 years in, surviving out of spite, have achieved "resignation" but nowhere near "acceptance". Can't stand the paradox of being both outwardly stoic for the benefit of others, and inwardly bereft and broken. And there are no words. But here we all are, eh? Much love to all xxxx

I’m so sorry. 💔. I’ve had a whole year now and it was horrible. Anniversaries are the pits. This second year is more bearable. You get used to it.

So dreadfully sorry for OP and all the other posters who have suffered. And so many posters are so kind and sympathetic and not offering empty platitudes which is the last thing the bereaved need. 🌺🌺🌺

It's good talking about this with others who actually know what it's like. I do feel slightly less lost and alone, so thank you all. ❤💔

You are showing immeasurable strength

You were so unlucky to lose him

But so lucky you had the time together that you did

Sending huge hugs xx
You are not alone xx I felt that too, like I was swimming underwater and everyone else was distant. If you are looking for a community who really understand then can I recommend Widowed and Young. They were a lifeline to me in the first year when I was so lost I didn’t know which way was up. They have meet ups and Facebook groups and all sorts of support.