AIBU to stay in the UK rather than move back to Switzerland?

[Swissandconfused]

I've been living in the UK for 12 years with my husband and DC . I'm originally from Switzerland, came for Erasmus at uni, met my husband and got a job....the usual! We live in a lovely part of the country in England and are very happy.

However people keep saying to me "surely Switzerland is much better, why would you stay here" etc etc..
I'm starting to think it might be better long term but we're so happy here, my son has lots of friends and we both have good jobs. AIBU to throw it all away? I'm really really scared to mess up the good things we have. I'm from a small alpine valley which is absolutely beautiful but the people can be very very insular and close minded and this bothered me my entire life when living there. I find living in the UK quite freeing. Also job wise it would be difficult. My son is bilingual so that would be fine but I'm afraid he'll find it hard to integrate.

Can you go and see some local secondary schools in England? The whole system will be different to what you know and for your DS education you need to take a long view and decide where you feel is best all the way through to university or apprenticeships. Personally I moved "home" when DD was finished primary as I wanted her to have a different secondary school experience.

That’s lovely to hear. English (or British) people, by and large, are very welcoming. I’ve never ever heard the opposite from people (I’m English myself). I can’t imagine where those people settled themselves, but unless they were giving very hostile vibes to their English neighbours, it is not our culture to be unfriendly to a new person for no reason. We’re not famous for putting on the kettle and making tea for nothing 😂 Ironically, when I moved to Switzerland I was told I’d never make a Swiss friend - they weren’t wrong 😁 I’m southern and we are also friendly. Maybe not as famously as the North but we are still very approachable and can chat easily to strangers.

It doesn’t matter where you’re from, there are some people who believe life is better there.

My husband is American, but has lived in the UK for decades. Except during the Trump years, it is common for people to tell him he’s mad to live here, that if they had the chance they’d live in the US (they never have), to be confused that I lived in the US and ‘gave that up’ (they have no idea what ‘that’ actually is). Friends from other countries tell me they have the same experience.

Honestly, those views are a reflection of other people’s dissatisfaction with aspects of their own lives, and are based in an imaginary grass is greener situation. If you’re happy where you are, stay put.

I live in the South East. I have heard that people in the North are meant to be friendlier. But it seems strange to think that a whole region could be unfriendly!

Im sorry but if you are English yourself, how could you possibly know what it is like for people that move from other countries to England? That is ridiculous.

I was born In england. My family then moved to another country, and I grew up there. I have an accent from another country. I moved back to England a couple of years ago as I wanted to experience living here for a while.

Since moving to England I have been told to

"Fuck off home"
I have been Asked " if i was over here taking their jobs". I said "I was born in England actually ". The man said "you don"t fu*king sound like it!"

I work with a Chinese woman and she said that she stopped going to local groups in the English town as they are so nasty to her. She said that one of them made fun of how she speaks etc...

I think you have been really unlucky there to be honest.

Or they are full of shit.

Im kind of shocked to read your post to be honest.
You can't really think that England is lovely and welcoming to all foreigners? That is not the reality at all.

People in the UK love talking about how terrible it is here. It is one of their more endearing characteristics.

The only place they consistently think is worse, is the place I come from (USA).

OP, enjoy beautiful, openminded, kindhearted Britain... I know it is far from perfect, and there are a lot of terrible people about- to paraphrase Churchill: It is the worst place to live, except for all the others.

Full of shit!

Oh my god

Do a quick google search and you will find thousands of news stories, about people experiencing xenophobia and racism in england

No I haven't been unlucky. I have experienced the same thing that many people in my city have experienced.

Just to make clear, I obviously don't think absolutely everyone is super kind in the UK. Of course, as absolutely everywhere, you get nice people, and not so nice people. I am not saying at all that previous posters experiences are invalid at all. I am just surprised as to date, (and hopefully not in the future either), this has not been my experience.

I'm very sorry to hear that- not nice at all.

As a Swiss person, you would be low down on the list of someone that would receive abuse in the UK.

Some English people think that Swiss people are all rich.

I have seen some English people stereotypically abuse Asians and Eastern Europeans - as they think that they are all poor and are over here stealing jobs etc

Thank you.

If you’re happy in the U.K. for now and all healthy, why not stay put. However as you age or if you get ill, you may wish to reconsider the benefits of being somewhere with a functioning health service.

What you're seeing on this thread sort of reflects on what you are experiencing in real life, OP. People who've never lived anywhere else often think Britain is uniquely bad in some way, but they don't have a good barometer to compare with the rest of the world. IME although Britain has its issues, it is one of the most tolerant countries in the world.

In some places the non white people don't mix with white people

‘All foreigners’ is a pretty loaded couple of words. No country is friendly to ‘all foreigners’. It very much depends on who they are, why they’re in a foreign country (not just the UK) and what their vibe is.

I was replying to the poster that wrote

"English (or British) people, by and large, are very welcoming."

That was a ridiculous comment. There is a huge amount of racism in England. The same as there is in every country.

I have also seen a lot of unkindness from rich English people to poor English people in my city. They seem to think that it is their fault they are poor. These certain rich people will only mix with other rich people. There is a lot of coldness and unfriendliness around where I live. There are of course some nice people. But I have seen a lot of coldness and nastiness I have to say.

I’m genuinely sorry you’ve had very negative experiences. I personally would never treat another decent, civilised person badly, no matter what colour, country, religion etc they are.

I have a daughter who moved to Zurich from London several years ago and has made it her home but I think given the choice she would move back to the Uk in a heartbeat, however her husband was born there, and wants to stay for now at least.
Yes it is stunningly beautiful, clean and safe but I personally find it a bit dull to be honest, the people seem quite serious and law abiding which obviously has it’s good points but overall I think I like a certain edginess and excitement in life.
As for the food, mainly carbs and meat! Yes there are Indian, Chinese restaurants etc to be found but nowhere as good as what we are used to here.
The last few comments have sidetracked the thread a bit, everywhere has a mix of good and not so nice people but overall I think good people heavily outweigh the bad in the UK, however however the bad often make more of an impression.

I've also lived in Switzerland - Lausanne, the nicest city imo, and cosmopolitan by Swiss standards. It was a long time ago now but I have family there and, going by their updates, things haven't changed fundamentally. I found it boring in the ways PP have mentioned.

Above all, I found it very regimented. There's a right way of doing things; nobody even considers another way. There's a right time for everything (even local laws about when you may do what), everybody does everything at the same time.

This really suits some people. Not me. My Swiss family's considered creative and unconventional, but still do everything the right way at the right times! If you want a life that literally runs like clockwork, spend your free time hiking up mountains and love cheese, it's a great place. If you enjoy pushing a few boundaries, it is not.

I love the cellar bunkers, though, and was fascinated by the military regularly disappearing inside mountains 😄 Few people realise Swiss military service is mandatory for men.

Are you from the UK? If you are from the UK, you don't see the really bad people.

I was watching a video the other day called "the most racist town in England". You should watch it. The things they came out with was shocking.

Anyway back to OP. I always say : live where you are happy. If you are happy where you are, then maybe stay there

I agree there’s a dullness/sterility about Switzerland (but very beautiful) and I’m at a stage in my life where I don’t want anymore excitement. So for me beauty and safety before edginess. But I can’t afford to move back there. The Swiss cuisine is bloody awful though 😁