Settle a long running (light hearteded) family feud for us

[sundaylunchsaga]

So... sunday lunch/ dinner at someone's house, what time would you reasonably expect to eat?

One side of the family (a) thinks 12-1 for lunch or 5 onwards for dinner. There are young children in the family and this makes sense for their meals, but also this are the general times in mind when planning the day.

The other side (b) think any time between 1 and 4 - usually around 3.30, but this changes, as this is the general vibe in restaurants etc.

A thinks b are ruleless heathens, b thinks a is uptight and inflexible.

Oh the poll hasn't worked! I had put who was right a b or neither but for some reason it hasn't saved that way

I used to loathe going for Sunday lunch at my in laws as they’d have breakfast then do the lunch at 3-4pm, so everyone would be starving, small kids were grumpy and just fed up … we rarely go these days and DH usually takes our bow teens to their favourite cafe for a snack

I come from a working class family in the NE. Sunday dinner was at 2.30pm and next meal was supper about 7pm. Not posh 'supper' though. Fry up sandwiches which was all the left over veggies fried up in the beef fat.

Sunday dinner was 2.30pm because last orders in the pub was at 2pm and that's when all the Dads came home. Idyllic, eh?

Same time as I always eat, breakfast c. 6am, lunch c.12-12.30pm, dinner c. 5-5.30pm - ok maybe a little later as I realise not everyone eats as early as me, but 3.30 is the middle of the afternoon, not a meal time.

We presume people are having a leisurely breakfast in a Sunday, so having a bacon sandwich or an egg on toast at 10ish.

Then Sunday lunch is a big affair with all the trimmings and a good pudding at about 3-4pm. Then that’s it till Monday breakfast, perhaps a biscuit with a cuppa late evening.
When the dc were younger and had clubs etc and it was just our household eating we’d have it at 6.
i love the 3-4 start, especially in the winter when the dark comes early.
The plus in the summer is that there is time afterwards for a walk.

We can be a bit more adaptable now that DS is older, but I’d hate family “Sunday lunches” because they were always between 2pm and 3pm. DS was an early riser, so we’d have been up since between 5am and 6am, so waiting until 10am for a large brunch (as family suggested) was never going to happen and not eating between 3pm and the next morning wasn’t going to work. It meant that we’d have a normal breakfast, a small lunch and a small, cold dinner (what we would call “tea” as opposed to a cooked “dinner”) at normal times with Sunday lunch as effectively an expensive snack between lunch and dinner.

Whereas always ate ours at 3pm because my granny grew up in a pub and that was when her dad had closed up and was ready to eat.

Yeah, I remember the men going to the pub for lunch time pints then coming back, eating a big dinner and falling asleep on the sofa having put something they liked on TV.

If it's an invitation than you accept or decline at whatever time is suggested.

Likewise if you are hosting you choose the time to suit you and your guests decide to come or not.

Not sure of the issue?

A

When they're little, it doesn't matter, feed them anyway and then they can snack at the "meal".

When they're older, they flex more anyway.

3-4pm is perfect for us, and has been for a long time.

B

Very much in line with your last paragraph here.
If people have got younger children I always ask and try to work with them in mind, and give them warning if it is going to be a bit different to that - eg my sisters family had young children who wake really early, they’d usually have lunch at 12, so I’d try and bear that in mind and aim for 12.30 as a compromise to others who prefer later - while pre warning the young kids family. My family and in-laws were amazing at shifting Xmas dinner a bit earlier for us when kids were at the awkward “early lunchtime but too old to nap through it” stage - really appreciated it.

I don’t think 3-4pm is such a “usual normal” time for Sunday lunch that I’d ever plan that without a lot of warning and discussion beforehand. 2pm would be a late lunch for us, and we’d just have a light dinner later.

For us with older kids - 12-2 feels like a lunchtime starting time window, and 6-8 a dinner starting time window.

ExMIL used to do Sunday lunch 'lunch will be at 1pm' so we would arrive about about 12pm, then finally sit down about 3pm. It used to drive me bonkers! Now my dc are adults if I do a Sunday lunch it will be for about 3pm as we'd have English muffins with cheese and tomato about 10:30am.

We’d always try and flex but I did always find this quite annoying - they would eat earlier and then snack at the meal, but it’s way easier to keep them entertained at the meal if they’re eating the same along with everyone else, rather than trying to entertain them with a bit of snack then them wanting to go off and play. We’d do it to fit in with others preferences but it was always a PITA.

Lunch is at lunchtime, dinner is at dinnertime. 3.30 is neither of those so should be spelled out in advance.

Either 1 or 6:30 in this house. I do tend to do our roast for 6:30 on a Sunday because I'm busy with other things in the morning. I have pork in the oven that needs 6 hours to roast.

Sunday lunch I would say around 1ish, then you’ve still got time in the afternoon to relax once guests have gone home.

Yes if you're out then it's hard I agree.

If in another home, I'd let mine go and play.

For us. Lunch is ... arrive about 12:30 ready to sit down around 1:00 pm. Meal finished by 2:30 pm.

Dinner ... arrive about 7:00 for 7:30 pm.
Sunday dinner involving young children ... 6:00 for 6:30 pm.

Though host decides and states time when issuing the invitation.

Lunch 1pm.
Dinner 6pm if young children, or 7/7.30pm if older children or adults.

I think B is normal, but I prefer A.

I suppose it's OK if you know in advance and can eat rice cakes or peanuts in the cat.

You are tapping into a ongoing argument me and my late father had for about 8 years. He insisted on Sunday lunch at 1.30. mum died when I was 17 there was just the 2 of us. I wanted to stay out in the pub. One time I had lunch at my girlfriends and dad cooked for 6.30. I said I much prefer Sunday dinner at 6.30 and he said he did to....then explained that mum had made him promise to always do a Sunday dinner for me!! So 8 years of arguing and if we'd had a conversation 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Dad died when I was 24, I had been married a month. We rarely have a proper Sunday dinner now, unless like today, we go out for it. If we do it's at 6ish

We would have lunch around 1 or around 5 (have children).
My in laws though will often say they had lunch at 3, but then that will be just them or with friends of a similar age (75+).

In my extended family, Sunday roast lunch is on the table between 1-1:15pm. On the other side, the breakfast fry might hit the table by 2:30pm on a good day. Sunday dinner is a lottery between 7-10pm.

In all fairness they are cooking you lunch/dinner- just be grateful.
When it turns up is up to the person doing all the work.

We do a later breakfast (10ish) skip lunch and Sunday dinner at 3. Other days eat 7, 12 and 5.