AIBU to think that clothes shopping in person as a plus sized woman is now impossible?

[FatFuckerFrances]

I was in Oxford Street today. Usually I can go into M & S and find clothes in a size 22 to try on. Today, there was one pair of black trousers in a size 24. Everything else was a size 20 or smaller. Mostly smaller. Even ranges like Seasalt, which goes up to size 28, only go up to a 16 or 18 in store. Same for John Lewis. Nothing above size 18.

A few weeks ago, I was in M & S, bought two dresses, a top and pair of jeans, and tried on a load more stuff. Asked a member of staff, who said “you’ll just have to click and collect.” Same in John Lewis, which until a few weeks ago stocked a small amount of one plus sized range, Live Unlimited. They now only do this online.

So now, if I want to buy clothes, I have to go through the faff of click and collect, try them on in the fitting room and then queue up to get a refund on what doesn’t fit. The option of browsing, and trying on clothes like a normal person is no longer available to me. The only shop I can go to is Beige, which is out of my price range. How is this fair? I still need clothes! And there seemed to be plenty of sizes 6 and 8 in stock, so it’s not as if they are only stocking sizes 10-16.

Can you let me know where you're finding 2-4s? DM if you want? Thank you x

Same if you're a petite. I've been trying to find a blazer that fits. M&S sell most of their clothes in a petite, but they do not stock them in store - you have to click and collect - pick them in store, try them on and if they don't fit I put them straight back in the returns bin. It's a complete PITA!

This is Mumsnet. I’ve been on for decades now, on and off, and have never seen a thread for and about plus sized people that hasn’t had fatphobic comments and also “don’t forget that slim people have it hard too”, no matter the actual topic.

I don’t feel this is a safe space for discussions about fat and fat issues. Some people are helpful but it always descends into the same crap. Really don’t bother here OP unless you want to leave with a nasty taste in your mouth

I'm a size 12, 5' 4" and my size tends to be one of the first ones to sell so quite often they've run out! Especially if theres a sale on, theres usually plenty of size 8 and size 16 but no 12 left. I appreciate it's still much easier for me than op though.

Harrods have always had a plus size department but it's luxury prices.
When I was a 22/24 I used to buy my Marina Rinaldi from eBay. It was a Italian lady called ' little shop of fashion' . She did returns too. All new, all fabulous.
There isn't an Evans anymore (mind you it all was polyester). I think I've bought plus from mango and H and M. I buy online now due to disability. I've just got use to it. I'd do a bit of research op into plus size boutiques. However they will be high end.

I'm currently fat and fascinated reading these replies of people who think overweight and obese people always choose to be the size they are.

I have multiple severe chronic health issues and one of them is Gastroparesis - I have been a size 8 due to my stomach not working properly and being unable to eat solid foods. I wasn't a better or healthier person at a size 8.

A couple of years ago I was a size 14/16 and I went up to a size 22 after gaining 26KG in 4 months due to a new health problem.

I am currently a size 18/20 and I cannot eat solid foods. I very rarely have an appetite. I can't have weight loss injections because one of the possible side effects of WLI is causing yourself permanent Gastroparesis.

I say all this to point out that judging a book by its cover is unkind. You never know why someone is the weight they are - people complimented me on my thinness when I was a size 8 and had no idea I was struggling to get enough nutrients and calories every day to stay alive.

It's so frustrating, and the selection is more vast online, then places like H&M whose sizes are never accurate ask if you're sure you want to order 2 sizes as it's bad for the environment, ordering and returning! When they make you shop online 🤬

That’s really disappointing about the jeans op, I’m sorry, and it’s a hassle getting them all packed up and sent back.

Do you mind sharing which brand the long-legged ones are please as I have a 34 inch inside leg (it’s the rest of me that’s squished and voluminous 😄)?

Also, could you not keep the ones that are too long and get them turned up for you in a local repair shop? Of there is a great method being demonstrated on Instagram atm about how to turn jeans up. I do sew but it’s not difficult. You can do it with pins and a needle and thread and sew by hand pretty easily too. Make sure you wash the jeans first to take any potential shrinkage in to account and stand on a chair and look in the mirror and get a friend to pin the correct length and then look up a tutorial on-line for the method.

I am a size 10 and can never find my size either, I think know more down to shops stocking less, since most people do online shopping

ive always assumed that the sizes they stock are based on some algorithim of the best selling sizes back the most units and the poorest selling having the fewest. Retailers won't care about social justice, for them it's just about using the limited amount of space they have to sell to the maximum amount of stock in the shortest window .
ot course it's crap for those is the rarer sizes but it's pure economics not any wider conspiracy against sizes 6s or size
20s or extra tall or short people.

I think one person made a horrible remark, they then apologised, and the thread has descended into folks piling on like the thread is full of comments like that.

I’m sorry about the serious health issues you are facing daily GottaBeStrong
which has got to be very tough going indeed.

I agree entirely that people can be so ignorant so the nasty remarks on this thread are not only cruel and unkind but uninformed and unintelligent.

I have piled on weight because I went through a seven month period of depression owing to a breavement - now recovered - then hurt my hip in an accident and was off my feet for five months. I’m only now in the correct mental and physical state to actually start addressing my weight gain.

I've got short legs and I find it a minor pain in the arse but not difficult to turn things up myself when they are too long.

I think you need to rtft. There’s more than one. And it’s far too many on a thread simply asking for clothing advice. It’s not a thread asking for weight loss advice. It’s not even one of those goady posts about air line seats or weight loss drugs. That’s why it’s unacceptable.

Most shops just stock the most popular sizes. It’s a financial decision, not about fairness.

It will be this because so many morbidly obese people will be on weight loss injections, that very large sizes will only be needed by a minority so it’s not viable to the business to stock them.

In M&S the returns are done by you at a machine, so no queuing up.

DD2 can never get boots in the fashionable styles she wants, she's a size 9.5.

To be fair, I am old enough to remember being obese in the 80s and it was like this then as there were many fewer obese people then . The Internet and online shopping transformed my life in the area of clothing and I suppose I never really got into the habit of clothes shopping in person much, so I haven't noticed this much.

What i will say is online shopping is getting much more inconvenient too with returns more difficult to organise and being charged for them

As for those asking if it motivates you, no I was still obese and morbidly obese for 40 years, still am today. I still needed to dress for work, celebrations, my marriage, exercise,going out etc.. You know just for my life. It is shite op

When I was younger I had another obese friend who always looked much better groomed and stylish than I did. When I asked her how she did it, she said she had most of her clothes made as large clothes in store were so impossible to find

Nice woman's shoes have always been a struggle. Even when I used to be a size 8.5 . After DS was born my feet are a size 9/ 9.5. It is so difficult to find stylish women's shoes

And yet, you apparently cannot.

I know they are not worth bothering about. I’m a sensible person usually. It just hit me hard this morning for reasons I won’t go in to.

Well you aren't managing to hide being a horrible person

I sometimes wonder if these threads attract a disproportionate amount of nasty people and give the wrong impression about how most people think. I'd like to think people in the real world are not so bad and don't care enough about your size to comment.

Does your mean minded comment not motivate you to improve your personality and manners?