To think some women could lift heavier in the gym?

[Ilostallthepens]

I go to a strength training class a few times a week. It’s almost always all women, class size is about 15. I’m not especially strong or experienced at lifting weights but I notice I’m always lifting the heaviest (sometimes by a long way) than every other person there. I’m also working to my maximum capacity for the 8-12 reps we’re doing. I’m huffing and puffing and sweating doing bicep curls with an 8kg dumbbell in each hand and I look over and the woman next to me is lifting a couple of 2kg dumbbells with no visible effort at all. I see this in a lot of the women there. They don’t seem to push themselves to their limit or even that close to it. I’m talking about women a similar age to myself that have been going to the gym for at least as long as me. I get some people may not want to push themselves to their max effort for whatever reason, eg. an injury, but I’m seeing lots of women seemingly not putting in half the amount of effort that they seem capable of and over a long period of time. So this makes me think the reason must be they don’t believe they are capable of lifting heavier, or they don’t want to lift to their max ability for some reason. Why do you think this is? Have you experienced this? Do you not work to max capacity in the gym? If not, why not?

I walk every day and feel great. Everyone is different, made differently inside and outside.

I understand this though.

This post is like the book ‘they all saw a cat’

I look at a woman lifting any weights and think ‘wow’ good woman, and I don’t look at the number written on the end of it.

It’s amazing how we can all see the same thing and yet see something completely different.

Yep. I am almost 2 years in, ironically from a gym injury, and can still only walk for half an hour at a time. Outside - I’m never setting foot in a gym again 😭🤣 Some injuries take years, or never get back to normal at all.

they probably think they can lift light, but as long as they do it 3-4 times a week it will yield excellent result.

obviously we know that’s not the case! But whatever.

There are a lot of more conservative ways of strengthening your knees that will also preserve the joint, cartilage, ligaments and tendons, etc from harm.

Good luck.

They might not get excellent results but certainly better results than people who don't do classes with light weights 3 or 4 times a week.

Equally I could judge you for not pushing yourself because I lift more than you do, and another woman could judge me because she lifts more than I do...and it would all be pointless nonsense.

Well this is it isn’t it. The implication that if you aren’t lifting heavy you might as well be doing line dancing or zumba classes for all the good it’s doing you. Anything weight bearing is so much better than nothing at all.

And indeed Zumba and line dancing are still better than nothing at all ( my own exercise snobbery may have sneaked in there).

Wow this is quite judgmental! I don’t know how old you are (you don’t say) but I go to the gym, I’m 44. I lift approximately 4-5kg per arm usually when doing arm stuff. That’s plenty for me for now. I had to have major surgery last year on my abdomen and nobody would know this because I’m ’back to normal’ but putting undue strain on my pelvic floor isn’t great for me so I don’t…I’m happy as I am thanks. If you’re seeing massive gains and benefits from lifting to your max then that’s great but personally I feel better working in a moderate range! That goes for cardio too now. I used to run multiple times a week flat out. Now I tend to do hill walks and cycling. I don’t want to push to the max anymore. Conscious decision here and happy with it!

I don't read the OP or my follow up about slow park runner as being sneery or judgemental. It's observational. It's taking a sweeping look and making an assessment of the average. So I said women are running park run slow on average and you can see it in the finishing figures. Young women who are easily capable of running 25 minute park run are doing 30 or 35 because the cultural norm is low achievement, low competition. I know park run isn't a competition but it reflects the same approach to sport of low effort if you're hardly even trying while you're there. But ofc better to be there than not.

Most women are not actually in a gym. Or ‘lifting weights’. They’re living a life. Reading, working, walking the dog, watching tv, travelling, shopping, gaming, eating, scrolling, seeing friends.

what an odd comment. Why is watching tv more 'living' than exercising? It is also allowed to both walk the dog and go to gym, they are not either/or activities. Gaming or shopping, fun as they might be, won't be enough to keep you strong and fit though.

Parkrun rightly saw the fact the average finish time has increased as something to celebrate because it showed that those who aren’t speedy runners are still going out there and doing it. Someone finishing a parkrun in an hour is still someone getting out and doing something!

I know. I’m doing lots of them. I’m not quite sure why box jumping has got so many people’s backs up. It’s one thing I do as part of a well planned and varied gym programme.

I agree. I’m not sure why gaming and reading Are considered “having a life” and exercising isn’t. I do all of the things mentioned there and go to the gym. And work ft. I don’t just stare at the ceiling when I’m not at the gym.

How on earth can you tell that someone could easily run Parkrun in 25 minutes just by looking at them? You sound just like OP who instinctively knows that the other women in her class could be lifting as heavily as her, just by the fact they are there.

For parkrun particularly I am not sure there are any additional health benefits by pushing yourself to your limits to finish a bit faster. More chance of injury certainly.

What if people don’t see running a park run in the fastest time possible as an ‘achievement’? They literally just want to go for a run around the park.

This.

OP, as well as judgemental, you also seem to not know very much, or be able to think beyond your own narrow world view.

Women like you are the reason so many other women don’t access fitness, I’ve only just started at 50- so please stop judging and focus on yourself instead.

She doesn’t say that’s all women should be doing. She’s quite clear fhat she’s talking about what’s optimal for women who want to maximise results in the most efficient way. Her point is often women do a lot of endurance exercise and complain they aren’t losing weight or changing body composition. She rightly points out that training for long periods in zone 2/3 won’t achieve that result, especially in older women.

She was being just at all. Just curious.

i think women need to be a bit more fuck you about other people in the gym an what they Amy or may not be thinking. And just get on with it.

We have all been there. Nervous, overweight, older - all that.

Obviously injuries etc are going to inhibit progress.

Can you explain what will? Genuine question? My understanding is that in ‘mid life’ which is me now mid 40s strength plus hill walking and Pilates type stuff is actually ‘best’ for my body…but I may well be wrong. That’s what I understand from recent reading and learning. So zone 2 cardio is best and then strength is important. Maybe not ‘lift as heavy as you can’ but I do understand you need to have a certain level of effort / resistance to get benefit. I personally have a heart condition that means I literally can’t lift super heavy but that’s rare…I know where my sweet spot is. Just wondering if I’m missing something? Also when I say ‘best for my body’ I mean that’s what I’m hearing from various sources but personally my approach is ‘do what I enjoy’ and keep my muscles going. Sometimes I don’t walk I dance or I swim for example…depends how I feel!

This person probably wouldn’t be going to the class that OP does though.

@NotThisRecordNotThisRecord , can you explain what the lifters did in that experiment? I can't quite understand what an RM is. The explanation seems to say that 1 RM = 1 repetition. RM is defined like this which sounds like a measure of frequeny not a measure of "intensity"
...osteoporosis exercise guidelines typically recommend only moderate-intensity exercises (70% to 80% 1 repetition maximum [RM],

The physical programme is described like this, where an RM is a measure of "intensity"
Resistance exercises (deadlift, overhead press, and back squat) were performed for the remainder of the intervention period in 5 sets of 5 repetitions, maintaining an intensity of >80% to 85% 1 RM. Participants performed up to 2 sets of deadlifts at 50% to 70% of 1 RM to serve as a warm-up,

I'm feeling very confused trying to understand what is 1 RM !

Just to keep harping on park run I am not even fast but regularly came in fifth or sith woman in a field of 100 women and 90% of them were younger than me. That's not a humble brag but surprise and I observed that many British women I know were raised without any inherent desire to achieve or compete, and often were discouraged from sport. Then I saw the same with my teen daughter - nothing cool about being the best or fastest but more like bonding with her friends over how rubbish girls are at sport. That is a sad message in 2026. So I get depressed when women make a lot of excuses, as if all those other women running could be idiosyncratic cases.

But by people harping on about how slow some people are, or how they are doing the wrong exercises or the wrong weights people are encouraging the negative attitudes.

Instead of looking to pick fault we should be celebrating that people are trying.

And half the battle is finding something you like. So if a plod around parkrun with your friends on a Saturday morning makes you happy AND your active then it’s win win.