To ask have you ever bullied everyone

[Loveconedown777]

I have and I’m ashamed of it also was bullied a lot

Good question. I don't think so. But then the person who bullied me out of a job swore blind that she didn't.

No, never. It’s a really awful thing to do.

No, I can be a snarky bitch, but I've never bullied anyone.

Yes. Not intentionally but I had a go at someone for not working enough hours.

They were depressed and were doing their best. Having gone through the same thing a bit later in life, I am so so ashamed.

We all need kindness and understanding (unless someone is being a bellend on aibu/relationships, which i think qualifies sassiness in response) and at 19, I didnt understand that.

They got their own back anyway.

I'm a bullying survivor and will never forgive those who deliberatly bullied me.

Everyone is quite a lot

I meant anyone

I didn’t think so but as a young woman I met someone from my primary school and she said she hated me because I never let her play with me and my friends and made her feel pushed out and friendless. I’d honestly barely noticed her at the time and was just playing with my best mates… I was also aged 8 at the time in question. So I think some people read into things. I did apologise if I had done that but it wasn’t something I registered at the time.

I honestly don't think I ever have. Bullying is something I consider myself to actively be against and I couldn't see myself wilfully and knowingly engaging in it.

There are probably times when I've spoken churlishly or grumpily to people, and there are times when I'm not actively friendly (to be clear, I wouldn't say I'm unfriendly, either, I'm just not making an effort to be friendly) but those aren't the same things as bullying. If I think a person's not my cup of tea, I'd rather avoid/disengage from them than seek them out to treat them badly.

I think as kids most kids have bullied someone and also been bullied

I’m not sure. when i was around 17 i had a friend who i would gently (imo) tease about how she dressed. one day she got annoyed and told me to stop, so i did.

in my family, teasing (much more intensively than i did to her) was completely normal. i think because i had brothers, “banter” was accepted as part of life. however I have wondered whether she might have considered my comments to be bullying. Her family were much kinder to each other than my family were, so her standards of behaviour were higher. I actually now look back on how my older brother treated me and consider it bullying, although that never occurred to me at that time because if i ever objected i was accused of sulking, making a fuss, being over sensitive etc.

So perhaps i did bully my friend without realising it.

No. I was bullied (teased in primary) so I’d never bully.

I don't think most bullies realise they were bullies. They excuse their behaviour by calling it banter. I would imagine that there's a massive mismatch in the numbers between people who have been bullied and people who admit they were bullies.

My brother called me a bully for speaking up about what happened in our family. There was incest abuse involving me and my sister by our other eldest brother, and my parents consistently defended him and tried to sweep everything under the rug. When I called out their behaviour and the way they treated me, I was told I was the problem instead. It felt very much like DARVO — deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender — but my brother is completely committed to the family narrative that I’m the bully.

Maybe the people you are snarky to interpret that as bullying?. I think a lot of people who bully don't realise they're doing it

Never.

Yes. I’ve since bumped into people who bullied me at school, male and female, and they’ve been effusively friendly.

Yes, I know as a child that I repeated some of the behaviours doled out to me to "test" how they felt. I was definitely horrible to kids in my class. I'm sure they experienced it as bullying.

I also was bullied. More severely.

My comprehensive in the 80s was quite dog eat dog, and teachers didn't seem particularly interested in stopping it.

Probably not classed as bullied by there were a couple of times were friends had deliberately left me out. Often it was usually one and the other followed. I ended up accused of bullying (same as what happened to me) by another person when in fact it was the two who has left me out but the other person decided to lump me in with them.
I think bullying is totally abhorrent. Whilst I do appreciate many end up bullies due to being bullied it is no excuse. Schools do not do anywhere near enough to combat it and so many parents think their children are angels when far from it. If I found out my child was bullying another I wouldn't assume they were some innocent victim, I'd want it to be dealt with appropriately, both for the victim and my child. Children need to learn actions have consequences.

I met up with 5 people for a meal last year, I went through primary school and high school with them but hadn't seen some of them for 30 years and nearly declined as 'the bully' had been invited.

She was a nasty piece of work, physically attacked me and verbal abuse nearly everyday for my whole school life. She used to wait for me outside the school gates to attack me, my poor Mother had to start picking me up when all the other kids walked home with their friends.

However, I wanted to see the others in the group and I went. It was actually like therapy for me, I've been successful career wise, financially, amazing successful grown up kids and have a great marriage etc. Seeing the bully, lifetime on benefits, poor as hell, no husband, kids took off at 16 and hardly speak to her, late 40's and never been abroad, in a one bedroom flat in the scummiest area in our whole region, oh and to top it off a 3 inch grey badger stripe for roots etc.

I'm bad but by god I didn't half give her a smug satisfied look. So no, I've never bullied anyone but did enjoy moving the conversation round to far flung holidays and designer hand bags etc 😆.

Every dog has its day as they say!

No I wouldn’t say so. Some fall outs and petty feuds at school but all short lived. I wouldn’t say I systematically bullied anyone in particular.

I don't know if you would slways know. Obviously if you kept thumping the weedy kid and nicking his pocket money, you should remember doing that.

But I had a previous manager - he was a bully, but I suspect he thought he was just being strong with us recalcitrant workers. His skills did not include self-awareness or active listening...

That sounds incredibly satisfying 😊

Definitely, I had a manager like that. Spent his weekends running kids groups, Sunday was spent as a church elder. Always involved in community events and the first to support local charities and fund raising etc.

But at work, he was a nasty bully but thought he was the bees knees as a manager. How someone so religious and community spirited thought it was acceptable to have staff crying in the office was beyond me.

I remember being an arsehole to my brother when we were teenagers but when we spoke about it as adults he doesn't remember it that way. He said he thought I was great.

I also remember being unkind to and about one of the girls in school. I don't even know what it was about but I would point out any mistakes she made and laugh at her with my friend. I'm not proud and I don't really have any excuse for it except that I was pretty unhappy and was being treated the exact same way by my cousin.

I certainly don't do anything like that anymore and I hope I've evolved a bit since my teenage years.