To ask have you ever bullied everyone

[Loveconedown777]

I have and I’m ashamed of it also was bullied a lot

I think most people have been bullied or seen as bullies by others. As a pp have said they thought it was a joke or they were just playing with other people. If someone wants to join it but you don’t let them, for a variety of reasons, they may feel bullied but you may feel you had just cause.
I’ve work in a dept where there was a clique of women I was not included in, not asked to join the WhatsApp, the coffee breaks or the nights out etc. I didn’t care because I had no interest in them, another woman joined the department and felt bullied. Were they bullies or just a group of established friends?
The idea that bulling is prolonged unpleasant behaviour has faded and now it can cover not liking people.

I joined in with teasing a girl in year 7. She ran out of the room crying and I felt awful. I never did anything like that again, I hadn't considered how it would make her feel. I'm nearly 40 and still feel guilty about it.

No and I actively stepped in to stop the only other non white girl in my school year being bullied.

DH and DD were both badly bullied as young children at school (we stepped in quickly and decisively when it was DD) and I had someone quite recently try and bully me out of my job. I absolutely refused to be intimidated by her.

Bullying is vile and I wish more parents taught their children not to do it. ‘Kindness costs nothing’ was my mantra with DD from a very young age and she has always been kind and inclusive.

The girl who bullied DD had a mother in total denial who believed her dd could do no wrong. She’ll likely grow up to be a bully in the workplace too.

I genuinely don’t believe I have, certainly never intentionally. If anyone has ever felt bullied by me, I would be surprised & ashamed.

I have never been bullied either, to be fair, although having worked in professional kitchens I don’t consider sharp robust banter (at which I’m very capable of giving as good as I get) to be bullying.

No!
Having had my confidence stolen by very active, nasty bullying in my teens, and knowing how it affected me for decades, I’d be mortified if anyone ever felt bullied by me. (Plus I like to think that I’m not that sort of a person anyway.)

No I don’t believe I have. I was accused of bullying during my time as a team leader though, because I expected people to be ready to start work at 9am rather than stroll in at 9.01, hang their coats up and make themselves a coffee before finally sitting down and starting their computer at 9.10.

and again because I expected people to call me if they were going to be off sick rather than text then go offline all day

I will never manage people ever again

Does kidnapping count as bullying?

I once threw a Barbie doll at another child because she kept splashing water at me, I was about 4

I think if people look really hard at themselves they will recognise there have been occasions where they have been unkind, left someone out, laughed or gossiped about someone or just been a bit self-absorbed. When it happens to you, you may perceived it as bullying, when you do it to someone else you see it as hanging out with your mates, having a laugh or just don’t recognise the behaviour.

So yes I have bullied someone. I’ve also been cliquey, unkind and self-absorbed. I have people get on better with than others and while I try to but been unkind I’m not perfect.

i don’t think I ever actually bullied anyone in the conventional sense of the term because I never singled anyone out and I certainly was never violent but I was a funny and quick-witted teenager and I would make jokes at other people’s expense. Funny but not kind. Not intentionally unkind but showing off and thoughtless.
I remember having a moment of realisation at university and realising that I had made a lot of people laugh at the expense of someone else and they weren’t laughing. I never did it again. And I did apologise for being a twat.

I think bullying is much more than teasing, it is an intentional act, an intention to hurt or humiliate someone

Yes and I feel terrible about it. I was in a tough school and was subject to some bullying myself. I ‘bitch slapped’ another girl in my year (year 7 or 8)… this was sadly common behaviour in my school but I see it as totally abhorrent now. I would send apologies to her if I could

I was accused of bullying by a colleague about 3 years ago at the age of 54. I knew I’d behaved badly but had got into the habit of excusing myself from a lot of not very nice behaviour because my workplace was wildly overloaded and dysfunctional. I was also jealous of this other woman - she was young, beautiful, expert and dynamic and I quite clearly wanted to undermine her. None of this was conscious but I see it now. It never reached the point of a formal process and I think I was lucky. She wasn’t happy with us, and that wasn’t all my fault, and she ended up leaving. So did I soon after that, to a better staffed and more functional team.

I don’t believe I I have bullied anyone, but I was accused of it at school.

I suppose looking back, I feel guilty she felt that way. I wasn’t friends with this girl and she was in my class and part of the awkward group of girls. I remember once telling her that her hair was messy and she got really upset about it and involved a teacher.

I would never behave like that as an adult now and perhaps upon reflection, these kind of comments are bullying.

Of course, I don’t know what her home life might have been like. Mine was awful, yet I didn’t admit it to myself or anyone at the time. My step dad was a bully to me so maybe I was more awful than I should have been. I just felt like she needed to toughen up at the time if she thought that was bullying.