AIBU to be hurt by this?

[Zombieof3]

Today is my 30th birthday, I don't go overly wild with birthdays, but when its my partners or the children's I put so much effort in.

Anyway, I already told my partner not to worry about buying me anything as money is tight for us right now, but he hasn't even wished me a happy birthday. I've woken up this morning, he's already in a bad mood and literally has only referenced my birthday by saying don't expect anything you've already celebrated your birthday last week (I went out for drinks last week in advance). I wasn't expecting a massive deal, but a simple happy birthday would have been nice. The only ones who have acknowledged my birthday was my 10 year old and 8 year old. Im probably being really silly, and it is just another day but this has hurt my feelings more than it should have.

He could have done a whole host of things for you that don’t involve £. He’s a nasty selfish prick. You put all the effort in for everyone else and he can’t be bothered - you should raise your bar OP and expect more for yourself.

Happy birthday by the way!! X

He sounds absolutely awful.

Hope you have a wonderful birthday in spite of him. Are you working or can you take yourself off and go and see friends/relatives?

Oh lord - why do we get saddled with these selfish men? They are like overgrown chidlren. I am sorry to hear this but would like to send you birthday wishes ... 🎂

Happy Birthday Loveky. Your partners a dick head

Is he usually that much of a dick? Costs nothing to wish you a Happy Birthday and he could have done something nice like brought you a coffee in bed and sorted the kids for school. Telling you not to expect anything is needlessly rude and hurtful and feels like he is trying to put you in your place.

That’s so depressing. I cannot imagine loving someone and not bothering with their birthday. He’s showing you his priorities and it’s not you.

Well you know what the expectations to birthdays are now and you can stay at that bar when his birthday comes around, nothing more for him.

Happy Birthday 💐

Happy birthday OP.

You sound such a lovely, thoughtful person.

It costs nothing to wish someone Haooy Birthday and to be kind and thoughtful in little ways - bringing you a cup of tea, offering to make the meal etc. His attitude is positively nasty. Does he treat you like this on a daily basis ?

Incidently the fact your children at least remembered and acknowledged your birthday does you credit.

He is a rude, inconsiderate, and insensitive person. Showing love and affection does not require a lot of money. There are ways to be thoughtful but he has chosen to be an asshole. Don't let your day get ruined- celebrate over the weekend. Do things that bring you joy!

As above, theres plenty of lovely free or cheap things he could have done. Hes not made the effort and is using lack of funds as an excuse. Being kind costs nothing.

Happy Birthday zombieof3. I hope you have a lovely day whatever you end up doing 💗

Happy birthday OP! 🎉🎊🎂

It's lovely that your children have acknowledged your special day and ai don't blame you for being upset with your other half. As others have said, it doesn't cost anything to bring you tea & toast in bed, give you a hug & a kiss and tell you how much he appreciates you! He needs a good kick up the arse 😠

I hope you get the chance to do something for you today, you deserve it!

I’d day give yourself a birthday present and leave him, but if that’s not realistic I’d start being more observant of his thoughtless behaviour and less inclined to be more thoughtful towards him.

Happy Birthday 💐

So he’s setting the standard for you. You don’t need to worry about his birthday anymore do you! Treat him the same

also make sure he becomes responsible for any birthdays and other presents for his family

What a knob. Is he always so mean spirited?

He’s teaching your dcs to be the same

happy birthday to you 😘🎉🥳🎂🎁🎈🎊

your partner could have wished you happy birthday, made you a cup of tea, put a candle in your cereal or whatever and sung happy birthday with the kids.

did he? no. so you need to find out why.

later on once the kids are asleep (if he doesn’t have a birthday surprise for you) i’d ask him why he was so angry / moody / whatever earlier.

maybe hes angry at himself for not managing his money better, or at you for overspending or something else. or maybe hes just angry and just doesn’t care about you or your life / wants / needs.

whatever it is it needs addressed. tell him how much his lack of enthusiasm for your special day is selfish and ignorant, as he made it all about him and his mumping. that he knows how well you treat him and wtf ithe thinking not bothering his arse wirh yours is a good idea.

if he doesn’t love you or isn’t going to try better i’d be leaving.

It really has nothing to do with lack of money. He could have got you a card, made you a nice breakfast, helped the children make cookies or a cake for you, given you a hug and wished you a happy birthday.

He sounds like a selfish, thoughtless arsehole. I hope you reconsider spending many (if any) more birthdays accepting this lack of love and consideration from your so-called partner.

Hope you manage to spend time with people who actually love and care about you and that you do have a very happy birthday 🎂🍾

Happy 30th birthday 🥳

You are not being silly. Money may be tight but as others have highlighted, with a bit of thought, he could have made you feel loved and appreciated on your birthday. How is your relationship on the whole and how thoughtful is he generally? Is this a good relationship or are his actions a symptom of a wider problem?

Happy 30th birthday! 💐

🥳

It doesn't have to cost money to celebrate a loved one's birthday. Imagine a pleasant wakeup with a happy partner and your kids and some handmade cards, maybe a nice little breakfast together and just good vibes.

Instead you've got a sour, unpleasant, resentful man telling you you had drinks last week so don't expect anything.

What a shit example for your kids he is. Is he always sour and nasty to you? Resentful of special days? I think this is your wakeup call to reevaluate this relationship.

I do wonder if some couples even like each other, let alone love. You'd say 'happy birthday' and maybe even buy a card/small gift/go out for a pint for a random colleague's 30th birthday, let alone the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with, and parent of your children, ffs.

YABU in continuing to make a big fuss of his birthday when he doesn't do anything back, and in having so little respect for yourself that you're still with someone who treats you like this, as well as showing your kids the impression this is what a relationship looks like and how women should be treated, although I do appreciate 'leave him' is easier said than done.

Not getting gifts doesn’t mean ignoring your birthday. He could have made you breakfast in bed, got the kids to make cards . Cooked you a nice tea.

He could of made you a cuppa and breakfast in bed for free!! What an arsehole!!

Happy birthday! We share the same day and my supposed partner has also been a selfish dick. Sending you lots of birthday greetings from one undervalued woman to another.

Well, he has shown you just how much he values you and your feelings. Take heed!

You say ‘partner’, which presumably means you are not married?

Be very careful. This man doesn’t have your back. When it all falls apart - which it will, unless he undergoes a St Paul’s type conversion, which seems unlikely - you will have no one to rely on except yourself.