AIBU to wonder if a stay-at-home mum could become an MP?

[Questionsssss]

Do you think a degree educated, middle class 30 year old SAHM without any notable work history would ever have a chance at becoming a local councillor or MP? I feel like most MPs have either a local council or highly skilled professional background (law, finance etc). I’ve googled and I can’t find a single MP who has a SAHM background.

I stood for the district council when only 32 and with a young family - and was elected. I was a stay at home mum at the time, but went back to work about a year later.

I never planned to go into politics, but was heavily involved in my local community and had successfully run a huge and very publicised campaign to save a much loved local facility. As a result I was very well known locally. Following the successful conclusion of the campaign all the three main parties approached me to ask me to stand for them. It was a hard decision as I wasn’t party savvy at all, so asked each the same question - if I stood for you could I vote according to my conscience or must I vote on party lines? Both Labour and LD said it had to be on party lines but the Conservatives said I could vote according to my conscience as long as I gave a bit of notice - even only 10 minutes would be fine. So I stood as a Conservative, and was elected (but indeed did vote several times with the opposition).

So yes it is possible but - you first need to decide your party, and pay to become a member; then you need to make a bid for a local seat - and get adopted for that seat - and finally you need to win your election.

Do some research on your local council. You can often watch the meetings on line. Look at what wards or division there are, what the last few election results were, (if standing for party A be realistic if party B is the one likely to win) and check what committees they have. Follow the committee meetings - see what you can offer because if selected you will be expected to have some ideas what you might campaign about.

it will help you enormously if you are known locally. You also need to get out and about for your party- helping deliver leaflets, canvassing etc and helping out in other areas too with their elections so you get known and ‘learn your trade’. An election campaign in very hard work and you have to keep your energy up throughout.

If you are in a more rural area then a good way in is a through a parish council. These are non political (unlike the town councils - which still run under parish council rules - but which are usually political).

I love it when folks get involved in politics, the more the better as that’s best for our community - and it’s so rewarding being able to help your local community and to make a difference,

I have stood for Parliament (and was a SAHM at the time). I'd also been heavily involved in local politics for years - I'm now fully recovered.

Setting aside what I think of your personal politics, I'd suggest you start by joining the political party you would like to represent and get involved in some of there campaigning then take it from there.

One of the reasons political parties are so shocking at the moment is because enough decent people don't put themselves out there, although I do understand why. I remember a time when there was genuine respect for political opponents and an understanding that most were in it for the right reasons.

There was a reason why previous generations of women fought for more equality - the "traditional families" just weren't working for them.

They wanted their financial independence. They wanted not to be trapped in unhappy relationships because they couldn't afford to leave. They wanted to have the same opportunities as men to use their talents and fulfill their potential. They wanted to live their own lives on their own terms and not merely as service providers for those around them. They wanted change.

I am enormously grateful for the fact that I have been able to model a different kind of family set-up from the one which my DM unwillingly ended up modelling for me. I have been able to show her first-hand that it is possible for women to combine a successful and fulfilling career with being a loving, engaged and hands-on mother. I have been able to show her that it's normal and natural for mothers to have interests, responsibilities and identities which extend beyond the home. I have been able to show her that it's entirely possible to find men who are willing to step up and do their fair share of parenting and domestic labour. I have been able to show her that she doesn't have to choose between pursuing her own aspirations and having a happy, functional family.

My dd is brilliant and talented and ambitious. I want her to be free to dream big and leave her mark on the world. Not to be confined to a "traditional family" role which she neither desires nor values.

Why are you so against working parents, especially women? Just because a child is at nursery, doesn't mean they receive any less love and care from parents. Equally, having a stay at home parent doesn't guarantee that teens won't get into trouble. What kind of distorted thinking is that?

I think you would sadly make a great Reform candidate.

You seem to have a complete lack of awareness of the lives of others. It's depressing that people like you consider putting yourselves in such vital public positions.
A great example of the Dunning-Kruger effect though, just think of the amount of highly intelligent and qualified women in the country that could make such a positive difference to the lives of others.

It feels like you’re saying wealthy people and those without disabilities should be able to do what they like. But everyone else should have to take responsibility for themselves - you say those with mental disabilities should just take responsibility for it, you want to reinstate the child benefit cap if both parents are out of work so presumably they just have to take responsibility for the children they have if they lose their job, and cut carers allowance… etc.

Are you perhaps in a bubble of an existence on these issues with little empathy for anyone else (assuming this isn’t a bait thread). If you’re truly interested in these issues, and early years, why not look at the clear research on the benefit to society of lifting children out of poverty (more likely to complete education, join the workforce, less likely to end up in the criminal justice system, have better health etc). ‘Punishing’ parents for being out of work assumes it’s a choice, and if it is and they are really feckless parents then it will mean that child does not eat.

I’d also suggest volunteering to see these issues in action - try a food bank to open your eyes.

Paying a parent to stay home takes someone out of the workforce - exactly what you object to with the poor or disabled. This means less economic growth - this then raises the obvious question of how you are going to then pay for this policy.

I’m not saying it would be nice for everyone to have the choice to stay home…. But in all honesty is this because you’d like to and feel you should have the right to. I think lots of parents would like to (a big part of that must be so they can have that time with their children). There’s a lot of research on outcomes of children with working mothers - generally educational outcomes are the same as stay at home mothers, for girls it’s higher, for boys it found these are more likely to be competent and equal in the home (with childcare/housework) https://www.library.hbs.edu/working-knowledge/kids-of-working-moms-grow-into-happy-adults two parent working families are more likely to be financially stable and poverty is one of the biggest influences on outcomes for children.

I think you can campaign on these points if you want and they may be popular in the divided society we live in, but I do wish people would be more honest about their drivers - I doubt given your other views that there’s much altruism and hope of helping wider society. If you did wouldn’t your focus be on better early years provision for all?

Everyone I know knows who he was and my friends are all in their 60s/70s. His name was all over the news in the UK nothing to do with being online
I think in general his views were abhorrent so if your beliefs align with his I wouldn't vote for you. But it's nothing to do with you being a SAHM

Yes a SAHM has the ability to become a councillor or MP.

Do you possess the skills and knowledge to make an effective one? So far I'm not convinced.

Worked out well for Serena Joy didn’t it…?

So you want to be an MP standing on a platform of encouraging women to stay at home, while being paid by the state yourself not to stay at home.
Make it make sense.

This is really interesting, as it reflects quite a lot about the social circles that the OP moves in. Clearly, she isn't surrounded by people who watch the news or follow current affairs etc. By contrast, I would be utterly gobsmacked if any of my friends or family didn't know who Charlie Kirk was, because they are all reasonably engaged people with at least a passing interest in what goes on in the world.

The OP is obviously much less used to interacting with people who choose to keep themselves informed about what's going on, so perhaps she also isn't really used to having her very uninformed views challenged in ways that might help to develop her thinking.

Yes. But only if deserving enough. Assume the plan would be https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/benefits-dwp-cuts-conservatives-austerity-cap-b2956620.html

Another question OP, what would you do if your OH sadly passed away? You'd have capital but how long would it provide you with an income to keep your lifestyle. At some point, you'd need to work. What if your ADHD was exacerbated to the point you found working FT and looking after your children impossible?

You do realise that you are only doing okay because of your husband? That without him, or maybe your parents, you could be no different to the women you criticize with disdain.

It's a bit niche, isn't it? People want someone who is going to act for the people. It's not great to be heading into politics for a single issue, imo.

If you're serious, I would start taking on some voluntary roles to beef up your CV. School governance gives lots of the core skills. Charity sector work. School admission appeals. Local conservation group. Basically, anything that gives you an insight into the formality of procedures and local government structure, and also exposes you to local people so you can get an understanding of local issues.

where…? LSE and Harvard research found no material differences when both parents work. The biggest influence is poverty.

you’re free to have your views. But don’t present them as facts, without for example any facts.

Staying home is just your preference. And that’s fine.

What if the pregnancy is the outcome of rape or of illegal sex with an underage girl. Even if the pregnancy is over 12 weeks, would you expect the woman to carry and give birth to her rapist's baby?

Our local MP in London is a tradie. He has a small company and does small handyman jobs. So yes, I think you should go for it and at least try.

You'd be surprised. I don't think those candidates appeal to voters especially we just often have no choice.

I wouldn't mind at all that you'd been a sahm but I'd want to know your views on policies etc and what you'd bring to the job. I'd probably expect you to maybe have considered how hard it would be to move from your current lifestyle to a rather inflexible long hours job, and be ready for the press to ask questions on that.

I'd consider being an mp to be a professional and highly skilled job but that doesn't mean you need to be a lawyer or university educated. I think if anything is critical that government includes a diverse range of experiences.

A local Lib Dem councillor is basically a sahm.

she has done things akin to Avon selling in her spare time.

she has been very heavily involved in her kids schools PTA and volunteers locally for lots.

Hope that helps x

I think anyone should be able to stand and their background wouldn’t put me off voting for them.

What would put me off is self interest and a candidate who is determined their own opinions are facts.

Where do you get this from?

Carers allowance is an absolute nightmare and the cliff edge for eligibility is barbaric.

I was entirely with you OP when you said about politics in your area being middle aged men I thought you sounded ideal, a breath of fresh air... with your further posts I don't think quite so much.

Local politics would be one thing but the job of an MP is quite a leap from SAHM, and especially if one of your arguments is to promote having a SAHP as a valid and important choice, working as an MP would definitely be more "do as I say not as I do". Then again that mindset itself makes you even more well suited I guess.

So it’s not just young children you want a mum at home for its teens as well? So a woman could potentially have a child at 20 so the family get tax breaks to stay home for 16 years, then have another baby at 36 and get the tax breaks to stay home for another 16 years, then at 52 the tax breaks stop? Then what? This woman with zero work experience has to try and get a job? Or does her husband have to continue to support her? What if he dies or leaves? And she can’t get a job. But you’ve cut benefits so she’s now on the streets with her 17 year old. That’ll be great for the 17 year olds mental health I’m sure.

Most politically aware people know who Charlie Kirk. Being a fan of Charlie Kirk would probably make you a shoo-in for selection as a Reform candidate. The bar is pretty low.

Quite. The fact of the OP being a SAHP is very unlikely to present any barriers, but based on this thread, there are other significant issues which might get in her way.