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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder if a stay-at-home mum could become an MP?

580 replies

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 08:33

Do you think a degree educated, middle class 30 year old SAHM without any notable work history would ever have a chance at becoming a local councillor or MP? I feel like most MPs have either a local council or highly skilled professional background (law, finance etc). I’ve googled and I can’t find a single MP who has a SAHM background.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:12

Jane379 · 08/05/2026 12:10

What abortion law do you support? 24 weeks? Lower, as a lot of Euro countries have?

I'm assuming you're not hoping for an Alabama style ban?

I think I support 12 weeks. But like I say, it’s a tough one. I’m not entirely certain. My heart says ban abortion completely but my head says otherwise.

OP posts:
Jane379 · 08/05/2026 12:12

nixon1976 · 08/05/2026 12:10

Oh my god another one I fell for that's not real! What is wrong with me? What a waste of time and commitment.

No, none of us have ever heard of Charlie Kirk. Never.

I assumed that post was being sarcastic (that we 'may have' heard of him).. If OP wasn't being sarcastic it's odd to treat us as if we wouldn't have heard, especially after the murder...

ImImmortalNowBabyDoll · 08/05/2026 12:12

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:10

Do you really think that everyone interested in politics, or every local councillor knows what physical conditions are comorbid with ADHD?!

I think anyone who is leading with policies on reducing support for children, students and adults with ADHD would have some knowledge of the kind of health problems commonly comorbid or exacerbated by ADHD, yes. If they didn't, they'd be making up policies with only half the information needed to understand the impact of them.

Meridas · 08/05/2026 12:12

If you decided to pursue a political career, would your DH give up work to be the SAHP?

user45789032 · 08/05/2026 12:13

nixon1976 · 08/05/2026 12:10

Oh my god another one I fell for that's not real! What is wrong with me? What a waste of time and commitment.

No, none of us have ever heard of Charlie Kirk. Never.

Sadly, it could well be real.

Believing you're so special you're one of the few who knows who Charlie Kirk is seems consistent with thinking you have the ability to be an MP without first doing any legwork other than regurgitating half-baked GB news shite.

nixon1976 · 08/05/2026 12:14

Jane379 · 08/05/2026 12:12

I assumed that post was being sarcastic (that we 'may have' heard of him).. If OP wasn't being sarcastic it's odd to treat us as if we wouldn't have heard, especially after the murder...

Oh, you might be right.

I still feel this is a wind up though. Nobody could be that tone deaf and lacking in knowledge, intelligence and empathy and want to be an MP, surely?

Jane379 · 08/05/2026 12:14

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:12

I think I support 12 weeks. But like I say, it’s a tough one. I’m not entirely certain. My heart says ban abortion completely but my head says otherwise.

Your heart says ban abortion completely? Even in cases of danger to mother's life? I assume you don't mean that?

Do you support rape exceptions for abortion?

I doubt this would come up early on but I do think publicly supporting a total ban would be quite a hard-line position even for Reform. I assume this isn't going to be a core cause of yours?

FlowerUser · 08/05/2026 12:14

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 09:16

I’d want to reduce the overall welfare spend - things like PIP, carers allowance are given out too freely at the moment. I’d also want to re-instate the child benefit cap for families where neither parent works. I’d also like to make it more difficult to gain citizenship/ILR so there would be less eligible for welfare.

I’d also want to re-instate the child benefit cap for families where neither parent works.

So you want to give extra money to couples where one person is a high earner so the other can stay at home and take away essential money from couples where no-one works? Did I get that right?

Why should my taxes go to subsidise wealthy households rather than families who are much poorer?

You’re basically arguing for a traditional family subsidy for the comfortable, and work enforcement for the poor.

Maybe try volunteering at a food bank, or serving as a magistrate, before inflicting your uneducated opinions on the world.

Peonies12 · 08/05/2026 12:14

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:12

I think I support 12 weeks. But like I say, it’s a tough one. I’m not entirely certain. My heart says ban abortion completely but my head says otherwise.

FFS. Are you from the past?? You clearly want to be living in a handmaids tale-like society.

dizzydizzydizzy · 08/05/2026 12:14

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:00

It’s incredibly easy to get a doctor’s note for anxiety! And to attend a couple of counselling sessions regarding it.

You stand little to no chance of getting PIP for anxiety unless you have seen a psychiatrist. All my anxiety claims on my PIP form were dismissed because at that point I hadn’t been referred to a psychiatrist and had been treated with medication prescribed by the GP and counselling. That was proof in the eyes of the DWP that my anxiety was mild, even though my GP said it was severe (as does my psychiatrist who I have since been referred to).

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:14

user45789032 · 08/05/2026 12:13

Sadly, it could well be real.

Believing you're so special you're one of the few who knows who Charlie Kirk is seems consistent with thinking you have the ability to be an MP without first doing any legwork other than regurgitating half-baked GB news shite.

Not everybody knows who he is in the UK? My DH wouldn’t know him by name, nor would some of my friends or my DPs…

OP posts:
nixon1976 · 08/05/2026 12:15

user45789032 · 08/05/2026 12:13

Sadly, it could well be real.

Believing you're so special you're one of the few who knows who Charlie Kirk is seems consistent with thinking you have the ability to be an MP without first doing any legwork other than regurgitating half-baked GB news shite.

God, so depressing, isn't it?

nixon1976 · 08/05/2026 12:15

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:14

Not everybody knows who he is in the UK? My DH wouldn’t know him by name, nor would some of my friends or my DPs…

Really? Honestly really? Come on, OP

notthisoneagainnow · 08/05/2026 12:16

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 11:03

I don’t have the time to answer your whole post at the moment. But I don’t hate disabled people.

10000% people with disabilities should be helped. Houses and cars adapted, adjustments made, benefits paid. I obviously have no issues with actual disabled people claiming for anything. I DO have a problem with people with anxiety claiming they can’t work because they find public transport too stressful, or people with depression going on long term sick leave. Or university students being given free laptops as they have ADHD. Or people claiming carers allowance as their partner is autistic. There are too many people taking advantage of how relaxed our criteria is.

Go over Reform's policies with a fine tooth comb and work if they really do align with yours, do a deep dive into this. Their policies are more pro big business than families. Bonnie Blue is a supporter, not exactly family values! Look into their Russian funding, one of their MP's was done for Russian involvement. Do you really want to be aligned with that?

The way the economy is, tax cuts would not be enough to lead to more SAHMs. The cost of living is much higher than that. I think the genie is out of the bottle.

Rolling back women's rights will include rolling back some of the rights that you want, and possibly your daughter's (if you have a daughter). If you think a SAHM and marriage is the ideal, what if this doesn't work out? I'm married to a good man but some of that is going to be luck. No one gets married to someone that they think is going to be abusive! Realise that like in America with Trump, rolling back other people's rights will in the end mean rolling back your rights. It's great that your choice as a SAHM has worked for you, and I do agree we need more family time - but do you realise that it is costs and the way that work is more pressurised that make that more difficult? And Reform are pro-business, with less workers rights and are more likely to make families more precarious with less time for each other? There is no way that Reform are going to be able to enable everyone to be a SAHM, that ship has sailed, we aren't going to be able to go back to sole earners with their policies. They wouldn't be able to reduce housing costs by the 75% that would enable that.

Wouldn't the Scandinavian version of better parental leave, better funding for childcare and education and a more equal and fair society that benefits everyone, not just the top 10% lead to better outcomes? Read The Spirit Level by Kate Pickett and Richard Wilkinson, and the Inner Level by the same authors to see why more equal societies do better on multiple fronts. The UK isn't an equal society and it's no surprise that we aren't doing well.

If you do want to support disabled people, Reform would be more likely to push benefit cuts for everyone, including the disabled - so they would lose their benefits too. Think outside your bubble, you are a SAHM with a high earning partner who probably has a comfortable life - think about how all of their policies would impact everyone. How would a reduction in workers rights affect families? Would it mean working less hours for less money? Would removing social safety nets mean if a husband loses his job, his family would become destitute? What happens to single parents? How about the idea that is opposed to the policies of Reform and the Conservatives that social housing with controlled rents would and did allow families to live on one wage?

Jane379 · 08/05/2026 12:16

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:14

Not everybody knows who he is in the UK? My DH wouldn’t know him by name, nor would some of my friends or my DPs…

Well his murder made headline news the world over....

Intetesting you say that about your DH : is he not very interested in politics compared to you?

CatCaretaker · 08/05/2026 12:17

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 11:42

Then people should marry!

I've been with my partner and daughter's father for 16 years. Neither of us have any interest in throwing hugs sums of money away on a party, nor do we believe in sky fairies, so why 'should' we get married exactly?

BuildbyNumbere · 08/05/2026 12:17

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 09:01

The things that I’d love to work on would be tax cuts for families with a stay at home parent as I believe there’s massive societal benefits to having a parent at home. I’d like to make it possible for more families to have this option rather than women feeling forced back to work as soon as their maternity leave ends.

And how do you plan on funding that?

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:18

Jane379 · 08/05/2026 12:14

Your heart says ban abortion completely? Even in cases of danger to mother's life? I assume you don't mean that?

Do you support rape exceptions for abortion?

I doubt this would come up early on but I do think publicly supporting a total ban would be quite a hard-line position even for Reform. I assume this isn't going to be a core cause of yours?

No of course not if the mother’s life was at risk.

I know that abortion cannot be banned - the thought of abortion does make me feel sad though, I don’t agree that it’s ’just a few cells’.

My hairdresser was telling me about a client of hers who proudly talks of her abortions - she’s had 8. I think this is disgusting.

OP posts:
Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:20

nixon1976 · 08/05/2026 12:15

Really? Honestly really? Come on, OP

They wouldn’t know him by name, no.

OP posts:
usedtobeaylis · 08/05/2026 12:20

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:12

I think I support 12 weeks. But like I say, it’s a tough one. I’m not entirely certain. My heart says ban abortion completely but my head says otherwise.

It's not really about your personal opinion but whether you would seek to impose that personal opinion on other women.

BuildbyNumbere · 08/05/2026 12:20

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 09:24

I think the benefit on society would be huge. Less children and adults with mental health issues, less stress in the household, stronger family values, children raised on a better diet due to more time available etc.

So you are running as an MP in the 1950’s then? Taking away the choice for women to work but offering tax cuts for those that don’t … in effect forcing women away from the workplace. What about single parents? No, I think you should remain a SAHM and keep your head in the clouds!

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:20

CatCaretaker · 08/05/2026 12:17

I've been with my partner and daughter's father for 16 years. Neither of us have any interest in throwing hugs sums of money away on a party, nor do we believe in sky fairies, so why 'should' we get married exactly?

Edited

Tax benefits.

OP posts:
Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:21

usedtobeaylis · 08/05/2026 12:20

It's not really about your personal opinion but whether you would seek to impose that personal opinion on other women.

Exactly. I wouldn’t impose it. I would reduce the limit though.

OP posts:
artfiend · 08/05/2026 12:23

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 12:18

No of course not if the mother’s life was at risk.

I know that abortion cannot be banned - the thought of abortion does make me feel sad though, I don’t agree that it’s ’just a few cells’.

My hairdresser was telling me about a client of hers who proudly talks of her abortions - she’s had 8. I think this is disgusting.

Ok now I vote for the wind-up too.

Both my grandmothers had 10+ abortions each as it was the only form of contraception in the Soviet Union if your husband was unwilling to abstain, so it was the norm. No, they weren't proudly talking about it. I cannot imagine a woman who casually chats about it with a rando hairdresser (who then of course decides to spread the gossip to all other clients).

poetryandwine · 08/05/2026 12:23

Questionsssss · 08/05/2026 11:41

Statistics regarding children’s outcomes would disagree

I am afraid that to many of us this statement is meaningless without citations.

Upthread i defended the right of SAHPs to run for Parliament. I, as an academic, object when they are thought to be somehow lesser.

But I also said they need to show the ability to do some hard graft. You can’t even be bothered to show us your evidence for this statement???

Never mind my vote, which Reform will never get. Until you back up your pronouncements you won’t have my respect.

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