Screaming children next door at 7.30 am

[HaveIBecomeVictorMeldrew]

I don't want to sound like a middle aged whiner, but here goes.

I sometimes work late shifts, so don't get up till lunchtime. I eat late and I'm also a carer to two elderly relatives. My bedroom backs almost directly onto a neighbour's garden and the past week or so, the parents have been bringing their 6/7 year old outside and she just screams and screams. The other morning I could tell she was having a tantrum and they put her outside with the dog and ignored her for half an hour. The dog is a small yapper so I could hear yapping and screaming at 8.30 am on a Bank Holiday. My day off. She screamed blue murder and they ignored her.

This morning again. 7 am. Mother screaming and child screaming.. sounded like a game once I was awake, but I jumped out of bed thinking someone was being murdered, it was so loud. My window is closed. It went on for half an hour.

It's quite a tightly packed, newish estate so no escape. I have little choice but to sleep in that room. I resorted to using ear plugs, but I don't like doing that in case either of my elderly parents shouts for me for help.

Shouid I ask them to keep the child inside until later in the day or AIBU?

I think the child is neurodivergent, if that makes any difference, and probably struggling to express herself, but I think the parents are being incredibly inconsiderate. There are at least three elderly couples living behind them that we know personally. One has just bought his place and I notice it's up for sale again. I wondered if he couldn't bear the noise.

That's awful. Poor child, that's heartbreaking to read. Terrible parenting and also terribly anti social of the parents.

No advice but you have my sympathy.

It's not unfortunately, but I switched bedrooms with my Dad so he could have more space and peace.

I did think about a note through the door. I wanted to do it anonymously but they have cameras. He seems like quite an approachable person, she seems quite offhand and usually doesn't say hello when we see them. I might write a note and put it in the post so they don't know which neighbour it is.

I would pop a note through to say you don’t appreciate the screaming at 7:30am. Also, to stick a child outside in the garden and ignore its jsut awful. I would also write in the letter that if it continues and the child is left outside that you will contact social services.

Just go and talk to them! Honestly, an anonymous note through the door would just piss me off, especially one that has been posted

I'd contact social services, tbh, the child should be your top priority and that's awfully worrying parenting. They could probably do with at least some support.

I get a note is easier but I think you get further if you can speak to someone. Leaving notes can seem anti-social and weird to some, plus easy to ignore as you’re also giving the impression you’re timid.

So many posters and only one having concerns for the child.
I’d report it to social services, too. The weather is still cold, this is abusive behaviour from the parents.

I'm really concerned for the child actually.

I remember when she was born, my Dad said something about there being something really wrong with the baby. She was too quiet or something.

I suspect a high level of autism, also from seeing recent photos of her, her head, bless her, is really sort of big and wide for her body. She was screaming for her parents the other morning and they ignored her for ages. I understand that sometimes young children have to learn not to have tantrums, and they are probably exhausted if she is like this all the time, but I was so angry at them both for ignoring her for ages, plus given her obvious disabilities, she needed attention, not ignoring. It was a warmish morning when we had the warm spell again, the other mornings, not so sure. Luckily the garden is safe in the sense that there is a fairly high fence around it, so she can't run out.

I'm going with a note first I think.

They both have really good jobs, seem like good people, she's just really standoffish, but Dad thinks she's ashamed of having a "disabled child", as he gently puts it. I don't know if involving Social Services... yet... is the right thing to do. Will keep an eye on it.

I don't want to cause a problem though, as SS are obliged to take name and address and the parents will be informed of who has called them. You can't do it anonymously.

I had a "friend" report me to Social Services not all that long ago because I told her I lost my temper with my Dad and they arrived like the military swooping in and caused a lot of problems. My parents were livid.

The odd thing is, they have a ton of support from their own parents and family.

If you report something to social services, you can do it anonymously and they will not release your name to the family even if you don't do it anonymously, however parents can refuse contact with social services when reported, and they can't be forced to have an assessment. Social services can decide to force the parents anyway if they have enough information. But based on this I don't think they would if they didn't agree to an assessment
They are your neighbours. I would have a quick chat with them to say hi. I'm your neighbour. How are you? How are things? I'm not sure what's going on in the mornings but i can hear alot of screaming, its waking me and my dad up. Is there any possibility you could try to keep the noise down? I'm really sorry I was kicking myself having to come here to say this to you but thought I'd let you know It's quite noisy
Or you can write a nice note going on the lines of what I've said above and that you understand that children can be difficult however, this is really affecting you, especially if it's in the garden,

move off the council estate? never understand why anyone would live there by choice

Record it and send an anonymous report to SS . ND kids shouldn’t be locked out in the garden and ignored, that’s appalling

Report them to social works and do asap cos you’ve said this isn’t new ffs

If she’s at school they’ll ask there first and then do a home visit
and yes this can be done anonymously
do it for the child

This. Tell them you will be making recordings as proof (and actually do it)

Report this to social services. No child should be out outside and ignored. Especially an upset one. This is neglect and a safeguarding issue. It is every adults responsibility to keep children safe.

That poor child Artur Labinjo Hughes who was abused and murdered, his parents used to put him outside and not let him back in. Neighbours were aware and did not report to social services. Some said in court they didn’t think it was their business. If nobody does anything then these vulnerable children slip under the radar.
it sounds like at the very least they need extra support as a family. SS will not disclose who reported them.

It's new housing, not social.

There have been high profile cases of children being murdered, who were left in the garden as punishment. This sounds really worrying.

Ok everybody, I'm going to ring Social Services before doing anything else. Everyone who suggested it, you're absolutely right.

So what if it’s new housing what the hell has that got to do with a child being left outside

your priorities are way off

I apologise I’ve now seen your update

good cos this can’t continue for the child

Just a previous poster implying social housing is rough and who would want to live there anywhere, which is super judgemental and missing the flaming point...

Disgusting snobbish comment.

We can’t all afford to buy a house, I live in a council house and the area is considered highly desirable.