Struggling with a friendship over values and politics

[Firmoo]

I’m feeling a bit stuck and wondered how others would see this.

I’ve got a friend who I’ve known for a while through playgroups when both our kids were younger, but recently I’m finding myself questioning whether I can stay close to her.

She’s very open about planning to vote Reform in the local elections today.
She isn’t currently working and receives benefits, including DLA for her son. She has previously said to me that she may have exaggerated aspects of his difficulties, and from what I’ve seen there doesn’t seem to be any clearly diagnosed disability. What also makes things tricky is that she seems quite uncomfortable with the idea that he might be neurodiverse at all, which is something that comes up in contrast to my own son.

Her DP is officially registered as her carer and receives carer’s allowance, but I’m also aware he does informal cash-in-hand work alongside this.

I’m not trying to judge anyone’s situation as I know life can be complicated, and I don’t know all the details. But I’m struggling with the mix of things she says and does, and I’m finding it harder to reconcile that with staying close friends.

I suppose I’m just wondering whether others would see this as a reason to step back from a friendship, or whether I’m overthinking it and should try to separate politics and personal relationships more?

I really don’t know how to respond to some things she says to me.

I think this POV is from people who are essentially politically illiterate and see someone’s politics as being akin to whether or not they watch a particular TV show rather than being anything essential about them or their values.

OP, why are you trying to stay friends with someone you don’t like?

Only the morons in the UK will vote reform. The same mugs who voted for brexit.

Why is it rage bait? Reform will ruin the country. Ignorant people just can't see it.

They deserve to be sneered at. Reform will ruin the country.

best way to be .

I disagree. I don't think we're politically illiterate -both my brother and I are / have been active in local grassroots politics, my brother serving as an elected local council politician in his town. We were raised in a very political household (perpetually stuffing envelopes, leafleting, attending rallies etc), our mum also serving as an elected local councillor (of a different party to the ones my brother and I now align with). Our other sister and brother are entirely apolitical.
My brother and I are both passionate about quite different things and they seem, in terms of policy, to be mutually exclusive. My field of work puts me in contact with groups in society which my brother's political allegiance would see further disadvantaged in favour of its core interests. He sees that my work is valuable and that the individuals it supports are probably deserving, but believes their collective needs to be subordinate to a greater principle which must be prioritised for the advancement of his party's ideological aims. This is where we 'miss' eachother. It's a pity. And nothing like whether or not we enjoy the same TV show.

I agree with @Matronic6 and @venus7 , our whole lives are political -the choices we make, how and what we consume, the work we do, the services we use.

I have many good, close friends and at the core of our connections is definitely a shared sense of values; a certainty that none of us would vote for x, y or z policy because that's not the kind of people we are. Religion doesn't seem to come into it -I have friends belonging to different faiths- but politics definitely does.

I also have some nice colleagues, aquaintances and neighbours with whom I keep it 'light' and at arm's length -no idea how they vote, or align politically, but they may have said something to make me think it's a good idea not to 'go there'.

My friendships are mostly centred around shared values, so I wouldn't really be able to maintain a friendship with someone like this.