AIBU to worry about my three-year-old spelling her name?

[Newbie1991]

My daughter is 3 turning in 4 in June. They said she quite advance in her speech which is great but today she said a teacher was mean to her.

She come from nursery school and said "Mrs X said mummy should spend more time at your spelling your name" and that the other kids are doing better than her.

I do fyi! But I don't want to force it especially as she's currently learning Welsh and English and also has glue ears in both ears (so I don't want to overpressure her)

I was wondering how common it was for a 3 year old to do this? We got a pencil grip to help and we are doing the dot dot name thing which she asked to use today and she had this comment.

Nothing been said to me? Not sure where to go. I don't want her to be disadvantage because of this.

Good for her. My son couldn’t and ended up a straight A student including in English and offered places at various RG universities! It’s almost like it doesn’t really matter, isn’t it?

at both the last nursery parents evening and a very recent starting school meeting I’ve had, I was assured that there’s no need for
just turned 4yo to know his alphabet, how to write his name etc. and it’s best for them to figure it out through play rather than put any learning pressure on them at this stage. If they can recognise their name it’s great, so they know which peg etc is theirs when they start school. The rest they should pick up quickly once in reception.

Yeah, this. As long as they can recognise their name written down

this totally

My son has an Irish name & it took him a while to spell it (there's a few variations) he could say it but it was a phonetic version 😄

Hilarious 😂😂

My DD is Felicity and she used to say her own name as Titty 🤣🤣

Like others have said, I'd guess kids with shorter names like Max and Seb for example, may have been able to write their names earlier!

Mine's Tadhg @Namechange6578 yeah that's a good point

I think it's a lot more likely that there are some other kids who can spell their names, your daughter has told her nursery teacher than she wants to be able to spell hers too, and the teacher has said something like 'Why not tell Mummy that you'd like to learn and then she can practise it with you' or something like that as a helpful suggestion for her, rather than suggesting that there's something wrong if a three-year-old can't spell their name and telling her she needs to practice with you as homework.

Either way, she isn't going to be at a disadvantage if she can't write/spell her name at three. Lots of children don't really start learning their letters at all until they start reception.

Is this an actual teacher or a nursery worker? If it's the approach taken then she shoukd be on a disciplinary

Thanks all!

Well we are practising now but in a kind way with stickers for rewards etc. I will be having a word tomorrow though not sure if it's cross wires or not but either way anything she needs improvement they should be telling me not her. I noticed it a few times.

I did do some research and it was a teaching assistant so not sure how qualified she is to say it but either way doesn't matter. She was upset and she compared her to some much older kids like 4/5 years as it's mixed class.

She has six letters in her name.

This. I've taught in Reception and a school Nursery Class. I'm not even sure what they would mean by 'spelling' a name - do they mean writing it or saying the letters? A few, but not most, 3 year olds could have a go at writing their name but not know the letters.

I would definitely have a word with the class teacher as the TA should not have said this.

Formal complaint?

You should start legal action and sue their ass!!

(Or you could just have a simple chat to clarify what, if anything, had been said...)

Why would you flag up the fact that she can't do things she is not expected to be able to do yet? Surely that would require a lot of flagging?

It's not just the number of letters. I had a Suzy in my class who had great trouble orientating the letters correctly. 🤣

My 3 year old can't write his name yet and I'm not concerned in the slightest.

If she can recognise her name before reception and is practising pre-writing skills she will be fine.

Mine couldn't write their name at 3 - they just need to recognise it. I still remember seeing some letter Princess Charlotte had writtten with perfect penmanship and losing my mind that my child was so far behind. Don't worry.

🤣🤣🤣

We didn't bother about all that when the kids were wee, and used a nursery that was more focussed on play than anything else. My DD could barely write her name when she started school. Ten years on, she's a very bright girl who has no issues at all with literacy. Let babies be babies!

My DS could write his name at 3 I think, my DD couldnt.

in fact she couldn’t write her name until she started P1 at nearly 5 and a half, but once she started she was flying, and in the top set

At nearly 4 like your daughter, mine could both write their names. But they only had three letters in them and were easy to sound out phonetically. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

DD was sort of trying to write at 3 but she certainly could not form any of the letters correctly. She's going to Oxford to study English this year. I would not worry too much. Not being able to write your name when you are three is comfortably within the normal range.

I would suggest you don’t do too much in terms of writing actual letters unless you ensure she is forming them absolutely correctly. It’s a pain in the proverbial for us in school to have to undo all the children who’ve been taught to form letter incorrectly! 🤦🏻‍♀️ concentrate on pencil control, colouring in the lines, drawing shapes, wavy lines. Strengthening core muscles, fine motor activities to strengthen her hands etc

I work with 3-5 year olds, very term we get the children to draw a picture of themselves to assess early mark making skills. We ask them to 'write' their name. Some can, some an odd letter, a squiggle etc. To represent their name.

Primary 1 they start to get 'taught' formally how to form letters.

I’ve worked in Early Years for 25 years. Unless a child is showing genuine interest in writing their own name and the nursery practitioner knows how to teach correct letter formation, there is absolutely no need for children to be doing this at nursery. Every single Reception teacher I know would rather that children weren’t taught to write their names unless the person doing the teaching is really confident in correct letter formation. Without this, children learn to form letters incorrectly which then have to be re-taught at school (which can be really challenging).

There are so many more important things for children to be doing/learn at nursery than name writing!