Should the person who works from home do more household tasks than the one who doesn’t?

[Ramsinator]

I work from home three days a week, I have an office job and go in twice a week. I work the standard 9-5

Partner works full time as a joiner, but his hours differ. Sometimes he can be home at 4, sometimes not until 7 depending on the location he’s been working that week.

How would you split household tasks? Should I be doing most as I’m home anyway and it’s easier for me to do them? What is a fair split in your opinion?

Does it need to be a totally ‘fair’ assigned split? Can’t you do more on days when he’s working late and he do more when he’s home earlier?

Logically the one who is home has more of a chance to put on a quick wash or prep dinner etc when they have a spare 5 minutes.

Also his job is more physically demanding and longer hours.

That being said it doesn’t mean he has an excuse to do nothing to contribute to the running of the house.

I wouldn’t be rigid about it but yeah I think it’s reasonable. I have more free time when I wfh - not because I’m not working! But because I’m not commuting. I’m currently on my lunch break in the office, DH is wfh today. I know he put a wash on this morning before work, he’ll probably hang it out during his lunch break. He’ll also do dinner once he finishes work, because I’ll be commuting home.

I would say the person who works from home has more opportunity to put a load of laundry in at lunchtime, or givr the kitchen surfaces a clean before starting work. But, working from hom is work, and there shouldn't be any expectation that the home worker can take time out of work to clean.

Well while you're at home, you're working 9 til 5, not available to do chores.

If you're spending time at home doing laundry etc, equally he could be doing the grocery shopping, going to the bank, picking up and dropping off online shopping etc etc while he's working. Does he?

I don’t think it should be a 50/50 split.
im a SAHM and DH works 2 jobs that equate to a full time role (4 days out of home, 1 day at home)
we split the jobs so if I’m doing the school run and then food shopping on my way back, he’ll sort the dishwasher before he goes to the office, or if he’s back before me as I’m doing an activity with the kids, he’ll make dinner.
more of the house hold tasks obviously fall to me, as it’s my “job” but he still participates as an adult who lives in the home!

Realistically, probably yes. When we were both commuting, I was out 730-630 vs 830-530 for my partner. So he would get tea on the table, do the breakfast washing up, run the washing etc. Same idea if wfh, no commute means more time at home.

Yes, I do. It's just logical.

Probably. If you're there at 5 then if course you can get started. You'd have 2 clear hours until your partner gets home at 7.

I also WFH 3 days a week and would say I do more than my husband who’s out the house 5 days a week. It’s easy for me to just put the washing on, sort tea out and keep on top of the tidiness/cleanliness of the house. It also means none of us are then doing much housework over the weekend! I don’t see why you wouldn’t do it if you’re at home during the day.

You both work full-time so you do 50/50. You might work from home but you are working and you should be allowed a lunch break, just because you are at home doesnt mean you clean the bathroom or whatever at lunch time. If either of you were single you's have to do it all yourself, so 50/50 split when you both work is fair. If you worked part-time then yes you'd do more, but you don't so 50/50.

When I'm working from home, I'll put laundry on in the morning and I'll put the dinner on in the evening because I don't have the 45 minute commute to do. I have the same working hours as my husband, but more available time, so it just makes sense for things like that.

Its too easy to think of WAH as not "proper" working and expecting to stop periodically to do this or that household chore.

And it depends upon how the working day is organised. If you are tasked to be available 9-5 (minus lunch break) then except for short toilet or coffee runs your employer will expect to find you at your desk. If however your work is like mine as an academic and is delivery based (you agree on a set of tasks and organize them to fit your own routine) then no one is going to expect you to sit at a desk for a rigid 9-5 day. With more flexibility you can put on a wash, peg it out, prep the dinner etc.

The partner who is working on site cannot be expected to do these things. however he can stop at the shop on the way home to pick up a few things.

When I am working from home I prioritise going out for a walk at lunch time to get some fresh air but other than that, if I have time to do some chores then I do. If I don't have time, then I don't.

I don't think it needs to be strictly even as long as everyone is pulling their weight.

What about commuting time? My DH has 1.5 hours a day commuting time that I don't have on my WFH days. I can easily do a wash, empty the dishwasher and start dinner in my extra 1.5 hours. I can't imagine being so petty as to moan about housework not being 50/50 when I literally walk away from my desk at 5.30 and am in the living room!

If you are wfh it shouldn't be expected that you are doing more than very quick jobs while you are actually working.

Household tasks should be equally split amongst people who are at home and not working. So if you are wfh 9-5 you have more time at home than days you are in the office. Similar if your partner is home at 4, he has more time than if he is home at 7.

I WFH so I do all the laundry. I also empty dishwasher 9/10.

That’s the only thing I do simply because I WFH so it’s easy for me. All other chores are split evenly.

DP WFH and I don’t. I’ll come home and the washing has been done, washing up is done etc but not every day like I know he’s busy too. I’m really not bothered as he will just crack on and I have never had to ask. If he didn’t do it, I wouldn’t have a go.

Take the "at home" bit out of the equation. You both work full-time, so, assuming these are equivalent full-time hours, you should be pulling your weight equally with housework.

That said, I don't think it needs to be a rigid split of x amount of hours each per day - you should adapt to what is reasonable within each of your schedules and hopefully it should settle into equal shares. As a PP has said, it would make sense for you to prepare dinner on these days as you are around earlier but there should be a trade-off for him. If you have the chance to stick on a load of laundry or whatever during the working day, then that's a bonus, but shouldn't be expected.

I don’t think it’s as simple as PP make out. I used to work from home 5 days a week and my partner worked in an office 5 days a week. I did a stressful job I hated and bought in 80% of our income. He did a passion project job he loved and was happy to spend long hours at.

id put on a load of washing between meetings or do the odd piece of housework. I’d start dinner because if we waited until he was home we wouldn’t eat until half 8.

it killed our relationship. I was earning more, doing more because I could. All I saw in the end was him having a lovely life facilitated by me

Well a bit more perhaps but not all, or anything like it. Depends how much time you actually have free compared to him.

You shouldn’t be short changing your employers to do housework, so as to leave him free.

That gets my goat (to use an old fashioned MN phrase) - when an employed partner takes on all of the household duties, days off with kids etc, to allow a self-employed one to max their earnings.

I always find it amazing how laundry takes hours and hours of the week for some people, but is also a quick job that can easily be fitted around wfh.

I don’t know anyone who thinks laundry takes hours and hours a week. Do these people wash everything by hand?

Working from home means working so I would not expect you to do more for that reason. However there are some tasks that work well around working from home (laundry, vacuuming, putting the dishwasher on) that I would probably do more of that.

Who thinks it takes hours? Well it does take the machines hours, but not the loading, unloading and folding. In total, a load or 2 a day, maybe takes 10-15 minutes of my day.