13 year old hamster/school

[Chickencuddle]

My 13 year old has been hard work recently. I think hormones abd teenage years etc.
She will make a mountain out of a molehill all the time. Screaming crying and holding grudges which sometimes dont even make sense. These will last dor hours. The past few days have been really hard with her. Im spending so much time talking to her etc. Her attitude is awful too.
Yesterday her hamster died and she was devastated. We all spent hours holding the hamster. Talking about memories and burying hamster. Going to bed she was upset abd she said she didnt want to go to school (she hates school and any excuse not to go) but I felt sorry for her. But her attendance is 88% so not the best and I personally think staying off school for a hamster at 13 is maybe a bit indulgent.
She is saying she doesnt want to go this morning and taking so long getting ready. I dont think she will be ready in time. I feel bad for her so dont want to implement a consequence if she refuses to go. But what do I do?

I agree with you to some extent, but your 13 year old hasn’t had her cat die after 20 years, your 14 year old dog hasn’t died yet either. Has she actually experienced a significantly ‘worse’ pet death to compare the loss to? How many of her pets have died before?

Death of a hamster is a good reason to have incomplete homework if the evening was taken up by the discovery and burial, but it's not a reason for a day off school. I'd say MAYBE the death of a cat or dog, which is altogether a different type of pet, might warrant a day off, more likely a half day.

Shes had a cat dye before in really traumatic circumstance. (Car knocked it over but it came hobbling back then died in front of us. It was awful) she didnt even ask for a day off. She was around 9 or 10 then.

How would a day off possibly help, you've done all the talking and funeral stuff. Distraction is better for her "grief" than turning it into a bigger deal.

It didn't occur to me to give DCs 5&7 a day off after the dog died. Yes everyone was upset, but staying at home looking at an empty basket would not actually help them, whereas seeing life goes on (with lovely teachers warned they were feeling fragile) was better for them.

So people lacking in empathy! There are some parents on here who in a few years will wonder why they have a difficult relationship with their adult children.

Im glad she went in reasonably happily but please don’t dismiss it as just a hamster or because it only lives 2 years it’s somehow not a pet she could get attached to. I’m a grown adult and we’ve had dogs and cats all of whom I have loved deeply and obviously some more than others but I have a rabbit (well actually he’s a hare but don’t even ask!) right now who is literally my favourite living thing. My family are well aware of this and love him too but he’s my third child. He’s 3 now and people have started doing the ooh he might not live longer than 4 or 5 thing and honestly it breaks my heart even thinking about it. DH has resigned himself to never being the love of my life now.
All deaths might not be equal but maybe this hamster was a confidante and connection for Dd that was special.