13 year old hamster/school

[Chickencuddle]

My 13 year old has been hard work recently. I think hormones abd teenage years etc.
She will make a mountain out of a molehill all the time. Screaming crying and holding grudges which sometimes dont even make sense. These will last dor hours. The past few days have been really hard with her. Im spending so much time talking to her etc. Her attitude is awful too.
Yesterday her hamster died and she was devastated. We all spent hours holding the hamster. Talking about memories and burying hamster. Going to bed she was upset abd she said she didnt want to go to school (she hates school and any excuse not to go) but I felt sorry for her. But her attendance is 88% so not the best and I personally think staying off school for a hamster at 13 is maybe a bit indulgent.
She is saying she doesnt want to go this morning and taking so long getting ready. I dont think she will be ready in time. I feel bad for her so dont want to implement a consequence if she refuses to go. But what do I do?

Haha! Sorry that title may have been a bit misleading.

You can use bereavement days on hamsters. Sadly they need to be saved for human beings.
I'd understand maybe if it was a dog that was older than her. But hamsters only live a couple of years and they absolutely hate being in captivity and being handled. Given the first opportunity they'd run away never to be seen again.

I hope you tell her she needs to go in.

I have to admit it was a lovely hamster. It loved being handled. Would feed from her hands. But we have an elderly dog who is 14 and half and I was thinking she may need to take a day off for him in the near future. That will be devastating. It is different to a hamster. Hamster is still very sad. But different.

I don’t understand why she can’t have time off for both if she’s upset. This mental hierarchy’s of what’s okay and not okay to grieve and take time off for is really odd.

You have some strange ideas about poor parenting.
She's a teenage girl, they are given to tears and dramas over the slightest things, that does not equate poor parenting. I've got 2 adult daughters so have some knowledge of it first hand.
OP gave her d emotional support, talked about the pet and d went to school.
Poor parenting would be a case of " It's only an animal, get over it, and get to fucking school or else."
Which camp are you in Cover Kids or teens yet?

Of course you can - as an adult you can call in sick if you don’t feel mentally capable of working (whether that’s because your hamster has died or because of something else). I know lots of colleagues over the years who have had days off for their pets deaths or illnesses 🤷‍♀️

I think give the day off school.

Oh give over. This is a big deal to anyone let alone a young girl.

I’m glad she went in. Can she not look forward to getting a new hamster or is that not possible?

I wouldnt mind her getting a new one. Im just worried it won't be as lovely as this one was. Think we were very lucky with this hamster. Ive not mentioned it to her as its still so fresh. If she brings it up and asks then will speak to her dad and make sure everyone ok with it but I wouldnt have a problem.

I am frankly astonished at the number of PP on this thread who would give their child a day off for the death of a hamster. No wonder our PISA scores are going downhill if so many parents choose to consider school optional, and allow their children to understand that the slightest setback in life necessitates a day off. Education is important, as is attendance, and you’re not doing your DC any favours if they think it’s optional.

Don’t be ridiculous. Allowing a child a day off to grieve a beloved pet does not mean you think school is optional.

Hamsters? I doubt it.

OP I think some posters are missing the point your d went into school after all and she is getting on with her day.

You can doubt whatever you like.

What about something that lives a bit longer?
Guinea pigs? Some mners have fab set - ups I have seen!

No, we’re just continuing the discussion anyway.

Which is fair enough. But some are rehashing the same old thing as usual. At least they aren't chewing the OP now. She did a nice thing for her d and supporting her.

To a child a hamster is just as important as a cat. I remember being so upset when hamsters died. I really loved them.
Please let her have a day or so of grieving in her own home.

shes already at school, it’s lunch time

What about a couple of capybara next, they have a longer lifespan, mind you you will have to turn your whole garden into an enclosure, with a swimming pool for them and get a licence 🤣🤣

Not necessarily to a kid who's lost their beloved pet. One day off won't do any harm, especially at 13 she might be worried about crying at school and getting picked on for it.

It really, really isnt. I've had dogs, cats, rabbits and hamsters - I've been devastated (and continue to be )when any of them die. A loss is a loss. You cant diminish someone's grief because the life lost is small to you.

I too have had different pets throughout the years. It was different for me. Agree to disagree. Still very sad but definitely more devastating for me when a cat youve had for 20 years dies. Vs a hamster youve had for 2 and a half and who was very old and clearly slowing down. Died in their sleep etc. I wouldnt say all deaths are equal but thats just me

I would too