Aibu to consider getting a cleaner with 2 days off work?

[Advice5]

Reposted sorry as title didn't appear!

Aibu to consider getting a cleaner? I work part time, have 2 days off. I have 3 kids all are now in school. My husband works long hours and I do all domestic chores, all pick ups drop offs, cooking, the mental load of what kids need etc seeing to there needs mainly myself during the week due to long hours husband works. I do not expect my husband to do more due to how we have split responsibilities across everything so not asking for input regarding this. I have a large house 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, 2 sitting rooms. I am considering getting a cleaner as I feel exhausted, thinking I would be a better person for it at home and it would give me some breathing space. Aibu to do this considering I have 2 days off? I wouldn't give everything to the cleaner to do just things like bathrooms, and some of the floors bit of dusting so would still be doing some stuff myself. Anyone got any experience of having one in this situation? Anyone who has cleaners do partial cleaning? How did it improve your life if so?

As my nanna would always tell me, if you make the mess, you clean it up. Bless her, she was a cleaner ironically after she retired for extra pocket money and would often tell me stories of the people she cleaned for. Stoic Irish woman she was who knew how to run a house. I’d say go for it if you can afford it but I live by my nannas mantra. Couldn’t have someone picking up after me and my family and being in my house around my things. Gives me the ick. Thankfully me and DH share the load and we both work full time and have kids that plays sports of a weekend and during the week. Still manage to keep a clean house. It’s as taxing as you make it.

If you can afford it then do it. Cleaning properly is constant, exhausting and relentless. No one appreciates it but notices when it is not done and we have to be so present for our children that having energy to do it is can be somewhat lacking. Never be embarrassed about it. Any spare time you get from it has been earned and benefits the whole family. Also, it's good for the economy. :)

The thing is a cleaner will give a deep clean but there is still a lot of housework involved in running a household so not unreasonable at all to get someone to tackle the bathrooms , kitchen etc and clean floors through as leaves you freer to spend time on other added value stuff

I did this until very recently. I only stopped because our cleaner was incredibly unreliable and it irritated me more than doing it myself. We are looking to move house soon so I'll probably get a (different) cleaner again once we have settled.
Could I do it all myself? Yes. Do I want to? No.

Aww bless your nanna. I kind of get what you are saying as although I feel I could do with one there is a part of me that feels uncomfortable having someone in my house amongst my things. When do you get your cleaning done? Weekends? Glad it works for you but I don't expect my DH to do it due to his work pattern.. Thats probably why you are able to keep your home clean as you share the load. It is taxing when doing it alone, also depends on the size of house

Dude... your post sucks.

I realise that being mean can be sort of fun sometimes (AIBU would probably dry up without this), but for some reason the pure pettiness of your reply here has wound me up.

I have a job that involves providing mental health support to people in their 60s and above. Very often I meet women who have 'done it all' and worked so hard to keep all the plates spinning. Many end up exhausted, exploited by the people around them (including DHs and adult children), and out of touch with their own interests and strengths. I see too many women who have lost any sense of their value in the world other than to be a skivvy or emotional punchbag, and who have learned that they are not 'allowed' to have their own needs or their own fun. Not saying the OP's situation is like this, but frankly any woman (or man) who finds a way to make life easier and to reclaim more time for themselves and the things they care about should crack on in my view. Life's too short.

Make your life as easy as you can.

Did you set out to come across so mean and petty? In this weird fake concern?

Who is most people? And why do you get to decide that the OP is being unreasonable?

I meet families on a daily basis where, normally, the mother is spinning the plates in the air, has a huge amount on their plate and a forever increasing workload and they are exhausted because carrying all of this is hard. Some work full time, some part time and some, this will blow your mind, don't work and still are exhausted.
At what point do we stop judging people, women, for not being tired enough, for not being able to juggle everything just because someone else can, or at least looks like they can.

This was a shit comment and you know it.

OP, if the money is able to be spent then do it, it will help hugely and will take some pressure off.

Golly. Never had a cleaner, and we’ve managed perfectly well. Just the elderly neighbours whose mobility isn’t what it was seem to have cleaners round us. Kids have always cleaned after themselves in the bathroom and generally don’t make that much mess in the house. Certainly not enough to warrant someone in the house to clean up after us. But we’re not a household of clean freaks. The garden is on the large side, but for me gardening is an activity to be enjoyed. If you want and can afford a cleaner, OP, then have one. You shouldn’t need anyone to justify it.

It's your money, spend it how you like.

I applaud you for your reply, couldn't have put it better myself! Well done and it's been insightful listening to how some people can end up when not looking after themselves xx

Thank you glad a few people have seen what an odd response that was! I feel sorry for that poster clearly doesn't feel very good about herself to try and put me down

Do it if you can afford it. I love my cleaner. Just DP and me. We work full time. I like a very clean house and him a moderate clean house. Cleaner saves the arguments about cleaning. Also I love having extra time to myself.

I struggled with guilt for years. I felt I should be able to clean my own house. But went for it and will keep her for as long as I can.

she cleaned at the start for 2 hours once a fortnight. I have a 3 bed house. Asked her to prioritise certain things. She now comes weekly. i still need to clean somethings and hoover. But the main things are done.

I love it.

Go for it! I only work 2 days and have 2 kids, secondary and late primary and have had a cleaner for 15 years!
However I am now doing my own cleaning…. It was becoming a bit of headache managing someone who sometimes didn’t turn up/finding and trialling someone new so I just decided to do it myself and am finding it very freeing and great at the moment! Having a cleaner and not having a cleaner both have different pressure points head space wise so it won’t solve everything but hell yes after all these years DIY then get one!

This is a financial question not a moral one.

If your family can afford a cleaner and would benefit from one (and it still counts if it’s just you benefitting) then get one.

I don’t work at all and we have a cleaner 🤷‍♀️ no justification needed.

How did people source there cleaner? Was it word of mouth?

When myself and my husband talk about using up our time for such activities we work out basically what our worth is towards it. What is our “hourly rate”, and is it worth our time and effort vs paying someone for it.

if this was to cost you say £40 a week - versus - using up 4 hours of your time a week.. which one is the higher cost to you?

Absolutely this. If you pay the cleaner, the cleaner can pay the rent, put food on the table and all that jazz. Cleaner can then pay for a gardener, maybe and ...... BOOM, we have steps towards a thriving economy. Share the wealth, innit? 😊

local facebook group or word of mouth

I'm surprised by these comments. I work compressed hours over 4 days in a very stressful, professional role. I have a child and husband. I use my day off to get all the housework done. I would never consider hiring a cleaner so I could sit around on my day off.

Ok. And? Do you want a Blue Peter badge for being better then everyone else 😂😂

Why the sarcastic comment? I gave my opinion as did everyone else on this thread. Am I only allowed an opinion if it matches everyone else's?

I don't like having a cleaner myself, just because they tend to focus on the bits I don't mind doing. I'm rubbish at tidying but good at cleaning. Being forced to tidy for the cleaner each week was just stressful and I was left doing the parts of the job I hated most rather than the bits I don't mind. However if it works for you then do it.

I find it baffling that grown women can be so judgy about what someone else does with a few hours a couple of days a week. It's OK for someone to decide that scrubbing their bathroom is not THE most important thing they can do with those few hours a week.

Why not? I like using my days off for stuff I actually enjoy doing. And my job isn’t stressful or high-pressured either.

As to your question, OP, I found actually getting a cleaner to come round the most difficult part! I had spoken to three who either didn’t turn up or messaged to say they’d changed their mind and weren’t doing cleaning any more. My current cleaner I found on the local FB group for our town, she’s been doing it for over a decade, and she came round and talked about what we wanted etc. She’s brilliant.

It’s the old time v money thing, isn’t it? I’m time poor but we are fortunate enough to have some disposable income, so we choose to pay to reclaim some time as that’s currently more important. So instead of cleaning today on my day off, I am going for a run, meeting a friend for coffee and watching a few episodes of The Pitt.