AIBU to be upset after my cat died and partner left

[Lonelyumbrella]

My beautiful cat was put to sleep yesterday. My partner is sick of me being upset and has ended things and said it’s because I wasn’t sympathetic because his ex has not let him see the children in two years. I have been sympathetic!

His ex accused him of rape when she found out he had met me. This is as two years ago. She has never met me. She has a very posh accent and a job where she is regarded as a trustworthy person, think doctor type of job. She has stopped him from seeing his children for two years whilst the police investigation has been ongoing. I have done everything I can to support him. The police have not investigated the accusation at all. There is no evidence that he has done anything wrong but the police are taking her word as gospel. He has lots of evidence in the form of text messages that she is a liar and has threatened to go to the police on multiple occasions. He has it in a text message ‘Leave her or I will report you to the police’. The police are aware of this but still she is believed. His children don’t want to know him now. They are 16 years old and 14 years old.

I am sick of his mood swings and blaming me for the reason his ex has done this to him.

AIBU for ending things? I fear that if she knew who I was then she would make up something so I’d lose my job.

Sorry about your cat.

Sorry about your cat 🐈‍⬛❤️

Let the ex go.

I'm so sorry about your cat. I know how hard it is to lose a loyal furry friend.
The relationship does sound like a lot of hard work and drama.
You are certainly not BU to end things with him!

So your partner ended things but your AIBU question is whether you should end things?

That is taking aside the rest of your post which makes things sounds very chaotic.

I’d be very upset over the loss of your dear cat and overjoyed at the loss of the man! He sounds like a pain in the arse!

Sorry, he then said he wanted me back.

I’m so incredibly upset over my cat. He loves to kick me down when I am already rock bottom.

Sorry for your loss - get rid of him, he sounds awful!!

If his ex accused him of rape I would believe her

Ime death can help you see the real person - he isn't the man for you op. At his dc's ages they could see him if they wanted to. Nothing to do with their dm at that age. He sounds awful and you are well rid...
So sorry about your dcat op.
Maybe consider the only gap needing filled in your life is a dcat shaped one. Lots of lovely kitties need a second chance.
But him, no he doesn't deserve one.

He's a next level arsehole. Why are you focusing on his ex so much?

I'm so sorry about your cat 🌷

EX is horrible to you, be strong, don't take him back. You deserve much better than being hus verbal punch bag. He can fuck off & sort his own shit out. I know it's a horrible time to be in your own, but he walked out on you when you'd just had your beautiful cat PTS, so you were going through it alone anyway.

Do you have a family member/friend who would understand how sad you are about your cat? & support you being strong enough but to take Mr Horrible back??

🌷💕

If he can treat you like that after your loss then he’s no loss himself. He has no consideration for you.

Im sorry about your cat.
Yes, your ex should stay gone.
Nobody who loves you would treat you badly.

I think this is the main issue and his treatment of the OP has been the tipping point.

OP he doesn't have your back. It's time to tell him to sling his hook.

I'm sorry about your cat, they're family aren't they? I'd love to see a photo and hear about cat shenanigans. Or just the cat shenanigans if not up to a photo.

Sorry about your cat.

He’s a waste of space, give him no more thought.

He has done you a favour by leaving. 💯
He sounds like an entitled twat, who was jealous of your feelings towards your cat and his feelings needs to be centre stage no matter what the situation.

Don't take him back, or else he will grind you down with his woes. 🖕

Sorry for the loss of your cat 💐
@Lonelyumbrella

Sorry about your cat. Pet loss is awful and can open a lot of emotional 'doors' to other stresses and losses. Your life sounds chaotic and your ex sounds pretty awful. From what you've posted here I don't think you should take him back. If you are struggling with the loss of your cat and have nobody to talk to, the PDSA do an excellent support service. Google 'pdsa pet loss support' and you'll find them. You can talk to someone on the phone or via email. Take care.

Oh that’s a massive red flag! Please don’t have him back!

I’m so sorry about your cat, that’s really sad.

”Leave her or I’ll report to the police” doesn’t in my opinion indicate that he isn’t a rapist - rather that he is and she has reported the rape either in retaliation or to try and protect either you, or her kids from witnessing his behaviour to you.

Its not a huge step from kicking you when you’re down to abuse….

I'm sorry about your cat, it's heartbreaking when they leave us.

You've had a lucky escape with your ex.

This is reason to leave hom irrespective of the validity of any accusations.

So he’s moody and blames you for stuff, and isn’t allowed to see his children at all…. But of course his ex is the liar?? You sound a bit colour blind to all the red flags waving around here.

YANBU to end things, sorry for the loss of your cat, it’s a really rubbish thing to go through.

I'm so sorry about your cat. What was he called, what sort of cat was he?

Your ex is a tosser. You can absolutely do better. Have a good cry, and then start rebuilding your life.