AIBU to expect schools to inform parents about relevant safeguarding convictions?

[Whattodoaboutthis1]

A father of one the children in my child's class has been convicted of possessing and making child pornography. He was given a 12 month prison sentence that was suspended for 18 months, he's on the sex-offenders’ register (SOR) for the next 10 years and he's got a 10 year sexual harm prevention order (SHPO).

The only reason I know about this is that the related news article was briefly posted on the local FB group - one of the admins of the group removed it a few minutes later. The school haven't acknowledged it or addressed it at all with the wider school community.

AIBU to think there should be some sort of notification system for parents when someone who is a parent of a child at the same school as your child is convicted for child porn (or any similar offence) and added to the SOR?

I do appreciate it's a really difficult situation for all involved, especially the child of the man who's been convicted, but I think the school should have discreetly informed the other parents and shared any related safeguarding policies for reassurance i.e. confirmed to all he would no longer be allowed at school for drop off, pick up or events.

If I hadn't happened to see the article when it was briefly on Facebook (or heard through others who saw it in time) we'd have absolutely no idea. We could have accepted invitations to play dates or parties at their house unknowingly.

What also worries me is how difficult I've found it to find any concrete advice or information on what someone like this man is allowed to do and where he is allowed to go. I am pretty sure he's not allowed in the school grounds anymore, but from what I've read he could still take his kids to the local swimming pool or to the local park... But then there's some conflicting information on this!

YABU: it's your job to do your own due diligence and check that every parent of every child at your child's school isn't on the SOR.

YANBU: the school should have sent out a discreet notification to parents at the school for awareness.

In what world is it the schools job to notify people of this?

Is he actually at home with his children? Social services will have assessed the risk and may not allow him to be there. Therefore the risk to visiting children is obviously much less.

There will be paedos at every local park or swimming pool. There will be plenty of paedo parents not yet caught in any school. You need to do your own due diligence. School will have a safer recruitment and safeguarding policy. They won’t let any parents be alone with students unless they have been DBS checked and he’d obviously fail.

You should maintain your usual standards re supervision and safeguarding of your child, as the school will. With these in place, this person poses little risk. No, there’s no right to be aware of his convictions unless you begin a relationship with him - you could then make a Claire’s law request.

You can’t think the school is going to send a blanket letter to all parents outing this guy, surely? It’s an insane expectation. It’s not their responsibility and it would be very likely to result in a violent incident.

he’s almost certainly not the only paedophile you come into regular contact with - he’s just the one you know about. Apply sensible precautions around all unrelated men, and get on with your life.

No, because it stigmatizes the kids. It's not their fault the dad's a sick fuck. So why do you expect the school to tell you about it. It's your responsibility to vet who your child meets out of school. The school has tried and trusted processes in place to deal with their side

It’s not the schools job to spread gossip. Would you be happy if your information was shared with other parents?

No the school is not going to inform parents about other parents criminal convictions.

Schools could not disclose this information even if they wanted to do so.

Your child is at no risk from this person whilst at school, it’s his poor children that will have to bear the brunt of this if it gets out.

Your voting options are loaded. YABU and so is your daft YABU definition.

Have you heard of GDPR.

The school cannot comment, can you imagine the situation that would out his kids in?

The ones that are known about are not the problem. They are heavily regulated. Worry about the ines you don't know about.

Can you please call it what it is, images of child sexual abuse, not 'child porn' which minimises what is being discussed.

It's not the school's role to proactively tell parents but there's nothing stopping you from asking how they are safeguarding your children on a regular basis if you have concerns.

Of course the school should not be announcing this man’s conviction to parents - they would have absolutely no legal justification for sharing that information.
Entirely possible the limitations of his SHPO do not prevent him from attending the school for pick up, events etc. Restrictions are individual. Could be he is not allowed to places where children would potentially be getting changed (swimming pool, sports clubs) but nothing to say he can’t come to the weekly awards assembly for example.

Ffs Op, did it occur to you that the poor child could be a victim ?

My daughter was sexually assaulted by her best friends dad. He was sentenced in April of last year after a 4.5 year wait for a court date. He wasn’t imprisoned as the judge noted that he was the family breadwinner 🥴

He also has a much younger daughter, with a different mother, who is now at primary school. It terrifies me that he might do the same thing again as none of his daughters friends parents will be aware of his past. My daughter wasn’t his first victim, he’d been accused by the friend of an older sibling but she’d never taken it to the police. If I’d been aware of the prior allegations my daughter would never have been allowed to go anywhere near their house & I feel sick knowing I can’t stop it happening again.

Oh come on OP. Of course the school cannot send a letter out to all the parents saying “Just so you know, Amber Smith in Lion Class’s dad is a nonce. Keep your children away”

This sums it up

YABU to even consider that these people don't walk amongst us all the time. I work in a school, at least 7 parents are known to us for this. Obviously we can't inform anyone else.

It's really interesting to hear people's views on this, I'm grateful for all the responses. It's good to get out the echo chamber of the parents at our school (where this issue is raw and current and we feel our children are directly at immediate risk) and hear other views.

@HobGobblynne I am so, so sorry this happened to your daughter, that it took so long to get the court date and that after all that he wasn't even imprisoned. The person my OP is about had his sentence suspended as he is also the main breadwinner. I don't know much about this sort of thing, but I can't imagine being the main breadwinner gets you out of prison time for many offences, so I don't understand why child sexual assault or creating/possessing images of child sexual abuse (thank you for the correction @ASandwichNamedKevin, apologies for misnaming it previously) isn't appropriately punished.

I 100% appreciate it's a really difficult topic and it's horrible for all directly involved and for the school to manage, it just feels to me like it would be helpful for parents to know this sort of information about the other parents their children go to school with, and that because the school are notified when these sort of convictions occur and that they have the contact details of all the parents at the school that they're well placed to disseminate the information. Obviously if schools aren't allowed to notify parents of these things, it makes sense why that hasn't happened in this case. But I'd question whether it's right that schools aren't allowed to do so.

@Changingforthisone66 this is a genuine question, as it isn't obvious to me (I don't work in a school or education policy and my child is only in reception so it's all new territory for me) - is the reason why you can't inform other parents to protect the child of the offending parent, or to protect the offending parent, or both? I am not sure I see why they should be protected over the safety of all the other children at the school.

I appreciate we as parents have to assess the risk of any situation we put our children in, but it seems wrong to me to not share information like this which would obviously rule out things such as sleepovers or drop and go parties/play dates at this child's house.

I've seen a thread on here recently saying how ridiculous parents are for not letting their kids go to drop and go party / insisting on staying, but it seems ridiculous to me that I would ever let my child go to someone else's house unsupervised after learning one of the parent's of a child in his class is a paedophile!

Schools aren't allowed to divulge that information.

I do recall one time a parent asked our SLT to inform staff that her partner had been convicted so that staff could be prepared for children reading news reports.

Exactly this. A SHPO and signing of the register are only of any value if someone has a reason to request a Sarah’s law check. And unless they have any awareness of the offence, they aren’t likely to have that reason. It’s chicken and egg.

I am not sure I see why they should be protected over the safety of all the other children at the school.

Because if safeguarding measures are properly implemented, which they should be anyway, the other children are not at risk.

It’s not the schools job to do this but I understand your concerns. My child’s friend’s stepdad has been to prison for similar charges. They also live near the primary school - their garden literally backs onto the school playground. I cannot understand how it’s allowed for the guy to live in such close proximity to a primary school AND with a child. But it seems the priority is getting the offenders integrated back into society 🙄

They aren’t at risk in school, but they are out of school.

The school isn’t responsible for protecting children out of school.