AIBU to expect schools to inform parents about relevant safeguarding convictions?

[Whattodoaboutthis1]

A father of one the children in my child's class has been convicted of possessing and making child pornography. He was given a 12 month prison sentence that was suspended for 18 months, he's on the sex-offenders’ register (SOR) for the next 10 years and he's got a 10 year sexual harm prevention order (SHPO).

The only reason I know about this is that the related news article was briefly posted on the local FB group - one of the admins of the group removed it a few minutes later. The school haven't acknowledged it or addressed it at all with the wider school community.

AIBU to think there should be some sort of notification system for parents when someone who is a parent of a child at the same school as your child is convicted for child porn (or any similar offence) and added to the SOR?

I do appreciate it's a really difficult situation for all involved, especially the child of the man who's been convicted, but I think the school should have discreetly informed the other parents and shared any related safeguarding policies for reassurance i.e. confirmed to all he would no longer be allowed at school for drop off, pick up or events.

If I hadn't happened to see the article when it was briefly on Facebook (or heard through others who saw it in time) we'd have absolutely no idea. We could have accepted invitations to play dates or parties at their house unknowingly.

What also worries me is how difficult I've found it to find any concrete advice or information on what someone like this man is allowed to do and where he is allowed to go. I am pretty sure he's not allowed in the school grounds anymore, but from what I've read he could still take his kids to the local swimming pool or to the local park... But then there's some conflicting information on this!

YABU: it's your job to do your own due diligence and check that every parent of every child at your child's school isn't on the SOR.

YANBU: the school should have sent out a discreet notification to parents at the school for awareness.

I get the appeal, but no, the school would be doing that would be more harm than good.

That poor child is now going to have to deal with all the shite getting spread around the school and the backlash from this, far more than the father will.

The charge of making child sexual abuse images, with that sentencing, is very likely for downloading images off the internet. Downloading something technically makes a new image.

It's still horrible, and it incentivises those who actually create those images. It's however not what many people think when they hear someone has been sentenced for making those types of images - they think of the actual creators. What people think is what's going to be spread around the school, inflating as the stories get passed on and back to the entirely innocent child who will now likely be ostracised and more.

Alongside GDPR, that's why schools don't and shouldn't be spreading this.

The restrictions of the SHPO will depend on the sentencing, they vary by situation. With those charges, it'll likely be more around what type of devices he's allowed to have, any he has will likely have to have police software on them, not being allowed to delete things, having to surrender them for inspection, he may be restricted from certain sites including social media if that's how he accessed them before or have to give his account and passwords to the police. Whether he has any about being around children will vary based on professional recommendations for the specific actions sentenced for. Not everyone who is sentenced for images gets those types of restrictions. People may disagree on that, but that's how the guidelines currently work.

I’m not sure if anyone else has pulled you up on this op but please please don’t use the term child pornography 😳

They have, and she responded graciously and apologetically.

While it isn’t the schools place to say, I am surprised at how many people have said his children need protecting from eg rumours and the like - they do, but on this logic no such offence would ever be reported in the local press, which as we all know isn’t the case. The reason the school aren’t getting involved is that it simply isnt their place.

@ExperiencedTeacher thank you for sharing your experience, and everyone else for their contributions.

When I drafted my OP I originally framed it as should school / the local authority / police inform parents, but I narrowed it down to school in the end as I thought they would be best placed as they would have every parent/guardian's contact details and already have an open line of communication with the parents, whereas the LA/police probably don't. I wasn't aware the school wasn't allowed to share this information with parents.

I've had a look at the police form to check the sex offenders register and the form makes it sound like you have to have a bloody good reason for asking otherwise you might get in trouble yourself! And that you have to ask about individuals, so I have to know their first name and surname which is information I can't get easily without either asking people outright "What's your first and last name" or waiting to glean this information over time by hearing it through chatting to parents, checking the names on children's book bags and assuming they have the same name surname as the parent who I want to check, as that's definitely not always the case in our school.

Obviously the argument that someone made that there could be unconvicted people who are still a risk to my child is valid, and that a level of constant vigilance is required. It's really sad and terrifying that there could be so many people like this around. I think with this being the first year my child is in school it all feels a bit new and overwhelming for me. @Toobero I think I will be following the same approach as you!

For those suggesting I'm just interested in the gossip, it's really not that I want to gossip for gossip's sake. The trigger for me making this post was that another mum mentioned to me that their child was going for a play date with the child who's father has been convicted (at the house where this convicted sex offender lives). I hadn't discussed the topic previously with this other mum, so I asked if she was aware of the father's conviction to make sure she could make an informed decision re the play date and stay and supervise rather than drop and go. She wasn't aware, she hadn't seen the news article. She was obviously very grateful that she now knew and I have no regrets re 'gossiping' if that's what you want to frame that as if it has reduced the risk of harm to a child.

@OtterlyAstounding you very eloquently expressed how I feel about this!

@TiredShadows as far as I'm aware none of our children know about the father's conviction and therefore I don't think the child has been subject to any name calling or ostracisation - I think this is due to their ages. I can appreciate this would be much more likely to happen with older children, and am relieved for the poor child that he seems to have been spared this so far.