To be paranoid about DH staying out drinking?

[Ishouldknowbetter]

OK,this is going to sound really strange so bear with me.

DH was married before when younger for 6 years and they got married on midsummers day June 21st.

We have been married 10 years and together for 17 years.

In the past I had real problems with jealousy and being the second wife always feeling second best.

I had noticed early on that around the time of what would have beenhis anniversary he would go out and get really drunk.

As the years have passed have tried not to make it an obsessional thing with me but around that date it was always on my mind.

He has been really good just latly coming home from work instead of drinking after work with work collegues and today we had a meeting at the school to discuss DS's progress as he has SN and was feeling a bit down today afterwards as I always do after such meetings.

Anyway I rang him at 6.40pm to see if he was on the way home and he said he would be 10 mins.

Still no sign of him and he is not answering his phone now.

Now call me completly paranoid and barking but am well aware that tomorrow would have been his wedding anniversary and like years before he has stayed out drinking.

I said to myself that if he was out late tonight drinking then it confirms my suspicions as he has been coming home recently so why tonight?

Am I being totally paranoid or is this just a conicidence?

It just seems to re inforce it to me.

IME there is no point talking to him, especially not tonight. You'll get no sense and he'll just piss you off.

I would be tempted to give him an overnight bag and tell him to find somewhere else to sleep tonight. Maybe he needs a kick up the arse to show him how unacceptable his behaviour is to you and your dc's.

detoxdiva-he is on no state to go anywhere really and he has nowhere else to go.

So I will just have to bite my tounge and stay calm as don't want to make a secne in front of the children.

Then I hope he has the sense to listen to you and sort his head out, as you're being far more reasonable and considerate to him than many others would be after repeatedly letting you down like this. Good luck

I can't get through to him,have tried and tried.

The children don't listen to me and no wonder as DH does'nt ethier.

Just had to go upstairs and have a good cry as don't know what else to do am so tired of this and feel like just walking out and making him cope with everything.

But knowing him he would see that as me letting the children down.

I often think to myself if I became ill at least I might get a rest and DH would have to deal with it all on his own .
Awful thing to think I know but it might make him appreciate me more or at least realise if he still wanted to be with me.

ishouldknowbetter - how are things with you today?