How much?

[weddingdilemma2026]

We have been invited to a wedding of a friend. The invite requests “money towards a honeymoon instead of a present” we have no idea how much to give. Don’t want to look flash and potentially give more than close relatives but then again don’t want to look miserly.
If you were invited what would you suggest is a reasonable amount? The wedding isn’t for a few months so the amount isn’t a problem.
It is also local so no additional spending needed to travel or stay away.

She specifically said she would get a voucher, so she's worked out a value for the gift, so why not just give the cash?

I would give £50 (in total, not per person)

But it doesn’t address the other concerns

£75 absolute max.
Total not per person.

Thanks again for all your replies. MH was wanting to give £250 from us both but I think that is more likely the amount close relatives would give. I think £100/£150 is a reasonable amount from us as a couple. Glad to see so many replies around this amount. This put my mind at rest that we are not out of touch with the “going rate”.

That’s not OP’s query. So it’s irrelevant.

Back in the days of gift registries the rule of thumb used to be that you’d give between 50% and 200% of the cost of your invitation, depending on your circumstances.

So I guess at about £100 per head that would give a range of £50-£200 per person attending.

But they don’t want a John Lewis voucher. Why would you go to the bother?

We mostly had £50 from friends and £100 from wider family. My 2 aunts very generously did £250.

I'm surprised at all the responses saying £150 or more. I'd be giving £50 from us both!

£50

Oh no - not this. It's not a UK custom to 'cover your plate' - it's American.

There's no obligation on guests to pay for the wedding - that's the bride and groom and their families' job.

You give what you can afford, and there are no set rules in the UK (I realise the custom is different in Ireland).

I completely get why couples now want cash instead of gifts - the old days of needing to set up home are gone. But I think it's embarrassing for guests to have to give money - in the old days it wasn't so obvious how much you'd spent. Now it's really blatant, and I'm sure some guests feel social pressure to spend more than they are comfortable with.

Must be it.
im in Northern Ireland and 100 quid each is the going rate
For a wedding in the Republic of Ireland especially if it's a big wedding 200 euro would be expected
I grew up in a small village where before money was the trend, the bride , before the wedding would have a room in the brides family home where all the gifts would be displayed and a note to state who had bought what and cheques pinned to the curtains.