The constant need to fcking praise men for just completing normal functions

[Slightyamusedandsilly]

The dishes.
Arranging something.
Putting a wash on.

Why oh fucking why has it got to be acknowledged? I don't need praise for doing the hoovering or washing the floors. I don't need a pat on the back because I made him a cup of tea.

So why does HE need some sort of 'Well done!' for doing basic stuff? I find it so infantile and the ick is intense at the need for praise.

Oh oh oh! I’ve just been ranting at the dinner table about the plaudits for the men doing ponytails and plaits:
Meet the dads learning how to style their daughters' hair m
They were on Good Morning Britain too.
Nobody put me on national telly when I learnt to do DD’s hair.

Because you haven’t said that you have. You have, however, said that you rolled your eyes.

Have you said anything? If so, what did you say and how was it received?

I like her "Make a List" song too. She gets it.

Oh thank you darling for washing the kitchen floor. That's OK, thank YOU for putting out the milk bottles. No, thank YOU for plumping up the sofa cushion.

I'm so grateful you hoovered. So nice of you. And you for feeding the dogs. Because you're thoughtful like that. 🤮🤮🤮 Just because it's nauseatingly self righteous.

If you have an Alexa you could ask it to play a fanfare every time?

He sounds pathetic.

But they’re not all like that - if I was to thank my DP for doing something, he’d say “you don’t need to thank me, it just needed doing”

(we do thank each other if one person cooks or pays for dinner or makes a big effort)

Because I told my story in anecdotal way. I didn’t however give a play by play of the conversation (s).

Relationships with parents can be complicated and whilst I don’t shirk away from difficult conversations that are important to me I don’t owe you a play by play of what was said or not said.

I agree OP. DH made dinner tonight, very rare occurrence but my God the fuss and mess he made l couldn't help but think his idea was not to do it again- weaponosed incompetence and all that- anyway, he is doing it again, tomorrow in fact as he has got the day off and l am working. Obvs needs more practise. I said thanks once - not feeding that monster!!

My partner thanks me for doing thing around the house, to start with I found it strange! Now I think it's quite nice and appreciative. Not everything, but if someone's made the effort when we were tired or it was the other's turn to do it or for an unprompted meal, it's nice to be thanked. Still weird though!

As a manager, I see it as managing him. I don’t praise because I mean it - I praise because recognition drives performance and I want him to continue 🤣🤣 in other words he may feel like he’s the head of the house but I’m most definitely the neck.

Mmm hmm.

glad to have cleared it up for you! 😁

You've confirmed that my initial assessment of the situation was correct, yes. Many thanks.

😂😂 of course you would say so. The reality is nothing that I would have said would have changed your mind. You entered the conversation in a confrontational manner not in “I want to clarify” manner. You made a snap judgement on a post of 50 words and summed up my whole relationship with my mom and my whole existence as a human being! That makes all the sense in the world.

you don’t know me, my life or my experiences. So really you shouldn’t judge. I know this is the internet and people tend to skew towards being keyboard warriors. But the internet is what we make of it - and we should try to be open to other people’s ideas and not reduce a whole existence to one post.

Sure. I’m going to sleep. Feel free to continue typing paragraphs of justification to a stranger on the internet if it makes you feel better.

They are not justifying- they are putting you in your place. You’re to slow to realise it. Sleep well

Agree, life is mundane and we try to be nice to each other, if DH has cleaned the kitchen and it looks nice I will say thanks. Equally I weeded half the garden at the weekend and he noticed and said thanks. These jobs belong to neither of us particularly but belong to the household. The issue we have is that I do a lot of things that he doesn’t notice and therefore doesn’t thank me. So we agreed that if I feel under-appreciated for the invisible tasks I can tell him and he will a) be appreciative and b) agree to do it next time as it’s his turn (recently sorting through all the outgrown kids clothes, donating, recycling, posting the better ones to cousins etc, a huge job)