AIBU to block my sister after feeling unsupported and ignored?

[Unbelievable2025]

So I have had a rocky relationship with my sister for a while now. She does not care about what is going on in my life. Her family and her life is all that matters. I have gone through years of Fertility treatments to finally have my little girl. She is autistic. My sister is her godmother. She sees her maybe 2-3 times a year max. My sister is a teacher and has all the holidays that go with that. Still no effort is made. She has 4 children her self but they are all over 10 now so I understand she is busy. Recently my DD went through a very challenging time and I spoke to my sister briefly on the phone. She kept the conversation short. Last week I had to put down my almost 16 year old dog and I was beyond devastated. I went to a very dark place indeed. I held her as she left this world. My sister was aware from the very sad messages I sent and responded via text on the day. No phone call. She finally asked me how I was today. I said I thought you would call me. She was like oh I’ll buzz you later. I said it’s fine don’t bother and blocked her. I’m done begging for her to give a shit. Have I over reacted?

exactly. Is your sister the only person you talk too?

I adore all my brothers and sisters. But we have no expectations of each other. We have partners or friends for that.
How do you support her if that’s the expectation?

In the nicest possible way yes I think you are overreacting, but I understand why. Give it a week and see how you feel.

Just because you have a sibling doesn’t mean they have to automatically be your best friend. I have three that I get on really well with but I don’t count them as my friends, we all have our own lives/partners/friends

@Unbelievable2025 you coming back?

Well blocking her will solve everything 🤔

It sounds like you think your sister should be your emotional support person and you're annoyed that she doesn't want that.
She has four kids and a full time job, you can't honestly expect her to run around pandering to your needs too.

Of course you’ve overreacted but it’s done now 🤷‍♀️

If you’ve had a ‘rocky’ relationship for years, I imagine it’s never occurred to your sister that you’ve mentally designated her your emotional support person — she presumably thinks you go to close friends for that.

@Unbelievable2025 sorry about the dog but your sister has done nothing wrong.

4 kids and a teacher - her life must be manic!! And now you've gone and blocked her for no reason whatsoever.

Do you not have friends or a partner to talk to?

You’re being ridiculous, your sister will be completely snowed under with work and her 4 children, don’t forget her children will also be off school during her ‘holidays’. She’s not ignored you at all, just not been there to give the intensive support you seem to demand. I’m sure with her job and 4 children she undoubtedly has difficult issues she goes through on a weekly basis which perhaps she has decided to not ‘burden’ you with, but you’ll probably never know she did that for you at the same time as trying to support you, fitting in visits to your daughter every 3-4 months etc. If you could live a week in her shoes you would probably see how ridiculous you’re being

Dont lose what support you do get from her by blocking her.
Look for support elsewhere, from good friends. . That’s what I did, whilst keeping a family member in my life. As we are older, I now see him more often.

Why do you think that your sister is your emotional support person? That's what you seem to expect. Does she even live nearby?

You have very different lives by the sounds of it and she's not overly invested in how you live yours.

Do you have a partner? You are looking for a lot of support from your sister, the kind I’d expect of a partner. She has 4 kids, just because they are ten and over doesn’t mean she’s twiddling her thumbs.

Anyone else feeling “ignored” by the OP? 😁

We're blocked!

You have overreacted I'm afraid. She responded the next day, which is fine. The dog's death is very sad for you but it's not on the same level as a person and you can't expect an immediate response and concern as though it is a family bereavement.

I would unblock and just lean on her less. Also, as others have said, do you enquire about her life and family? Your post does sound like it's very one-sided

I actually disagree with the posters above and think you are not wrong to think your DSis is cold and unsupportive towards you. I think texting when you have just put your beloved dog down is very offhand, and I think 2-3 times a year for a young godchild - and niece!! - is not much effort. I don't think it is unreasonable to expect more from a sibling. It sounds as though she is very wrapped up in her own life and doesn't care about you much.
However I don't think blocking is constructive. Somehow you have to make peace with the fact that she is not the sister you would have wished for.

How much time has the OP spent with her sisters children, the 4 of them?

I think she blocked us 😂

How many times a year did you make the effort to go out of your way to spend time with her children? What have you done for them that you would like to see reciprocated for your own child?

A teacher with four children is going to have a busy life. It doesn’t stop being busy as soon as children reach age 10 so not sure how that is relevant.

I clicked on this expecting to feel sympathetic, as have done the same to my sister. However, it doesn’t sound like your sister has been actively nasty or demanding so I’m not sure what creating this type of boundary is supposed to achieve or protect you from. She might need you as much as you need her, and you’ve just had communication issues, or she doesn’t have any capacity to give as much as you want, which isn’t her fault and punishing her for it feels unproductive. If your ‘stress bucket’ is full, I completely get that you might be at your wits end and able to cope with less new stress and therefore react badly, and it sounds like you do need some sort of respite to help you get back on track. But from what you’ve said it doesn’t sound like your sister is the one who can help with that, and with her own life that can be ok too.

I've spent 20 years trying to get my sister to give a damn about her elderly parents, now we only have my DF.

After realising she came into his home whilst I was away and stole his will and probably looked through his bank statements, the penny has finally dropped that she's really not a nice person who causes more stress than bother, and that I and my parents have wasted years hoping she might change.

I think it sounds as though there was never any relationship or support in the first place, so I think for your own piece of mind and sanity, you've done the right thing and need to forget about her and move on.

I’d think she would be quite relieved. Has a job as a teacher, has 4 children (doesn’t matter the ages as all ages come with challenges and business, just in different ways). Yet, you expect her to be running to visit you for school holidays and on call as immediate emotional support person. Unbelievable. As I said, she is likely now breathing a sigh of relief.

I'm sorry about the loss of your dog.

I'm sorry your child has a disability and is challenging.

Things haven't been easy for you. Try not to compare your life with your sister's life.

Try to find support from other sources. Carers network of parents with children with autism, they'll understand better than your sister or others that don't have similar challenges.