Baby with surname of current and ex partner aibu

[smucker]

A friend recently had a baby with her new partner. Wonderful news. She has 3 older kids with her ex husband who have his name only. She goes by her maiden name now. She has announced the baby surname which is double barrelled- it is both her ex husbands name and her new partner (baby daddy) name. Is it just me or is that a bit weird?

Her choice!

I guess that’s so all of the children have
similar names?

I agree
The ex is not related to this baby.
She could have put her name or dad's name or double barrelled those two.
Giving the baby the surname of a man who it's not related to is weird.

She's not, she's giving the youngest a name connection with their older siblings.

Yes, I’d find that odd.

I dont find it odd. She is making sure her children have the same name.

Her choice, I can’t judge 🤷‍♀️

Well I don't think it's weird, because I can see the reason she's done it

If he hasn't agreed to it, yes, weird. If he did, fine.

The older siblings have a different father.
They have his surname.
The baby has his/her own father.

If she wants them all to have a link it's through her, she could double barrel her own name with all of them.

I cannot imagine what the Ex thinks about an unrelated baby bearing his name.
I cannot imagine what the baby's father thinks about give the baby another man's name.
I would assume they are all happy seeing as they've done exactly this, and that's really all that counts.
But you will never convince me that it's not a bloody weird choice.

That’s my point- her ex husband has an unrelated baby bearing his name. And they are not close at all far from it

It is, but it can still be a bit weird. If you think it is. It's asking for opinions.

Why are people hung up on men “owning” names? It’s his children’s name now too. And I bet it’s not unique.

She cannot change the older children’s name though.

The answer, ladies of childbearing age, is to keep your name and give all children that name.

Maybe the older chikdren wanted their sibling to share their name?

What as it got to do with you.

That's not true.
She can change the older children's surname to double barrel with her surname.

And then the new baby could have two surnames and be linked to siblings with mums name.

I understand it's be a faff though and she's obviously gone for the easier option.
But her logic beats me. I cannot get around giving my baby two men's surnames. One of them the ex.

I can see where she coming from but it’s weird. My eldest daughter’s have my surname. If my ex had given his children with his new wife my surname I would have found it incredibly uncomfortable.

She can only change it with their fathers permission.

I think it's quite nice that the siblings all have a link in that way.

What country are you in that a mother can change her children’s name without their father agreeing?

Has she legally changed her name back, passport etc?

So she needs the older kids ' father's permission to add her own name to their surname, but doesn't need it to use his surname on an unrelated ( to him) child.

Make it make sense 😅

I wondered this as well. It could easily be legally her name.

Because you can name your child what you want. But if the child already has a name, you need the permission of the other person who named the child to change it.

He doesn't own the name. FFS.

IIRC you can give your child any surname you like when registering the birth. So you could name them after the pub landord if you so wished.
You just can't change it later without permission from anyone with PR.