Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else quite enjoy the Empty Nest?

107 replies

hoardingwealth · 01/05/2026 20:06

Love my kids to bits. Obviously! But I’m quite enjoying this next stage, where they have moved out and are making their own lives. The house is quiet, peaceful, tidy. There are no school runs or jobs that come with having kids at home. I’m sitting here now, watching a documentary with wine, knowing that no one needs picking up from anywhere. I’m enjoying this peaceful phase of life. Anyone else?

OP posts:
HoldMyWine · 11/05/2026 13:31

I miss my two but I love being free of the ‘ what’s for dinner’ daily chore. So freeing to just have something from the freezer or beans on toast.

Whiteheadhouse · 11/05/2026 13:34

Lovd them to bits. Two are heading off today and i will be fown to one and it will be very relaxing hopefully. Yanbu. After a couple of decades of running around after them it is not unreasonable.

MissusSimonNeil · 11/05/2026 13:51

I'm halfway there and can't wait to be fully there, but that's at least four years away yet!

I adore my children but yes, am relishing the idea of a quiet, tidy house!

A couple of people I've spoken to about my eldest staying in her university town when she graduates have looked at me with a worried and empathetic look, only to be greeted with a smile of glee from me 😂

My relationship with my eldest is stronger than it's ever been now that she's standing on her own two feet, but she still knows that we're there to catch her when she falls.

CountryGirlInTheCity · 11/05/2026 13:56

Scarlettjune · 11/05/2026 13:30

This thread makes me feel sad. Its all about how happy you are now that your children are gone. What about how the children feel?

I am the daughter of a mother who always told me that she regretted having children. She wanted a different life. My father also found having children too much of a responsibility , and abandoned us when he met another woman.

My life was a misery from start to now.

Why oh why don't people put more thought into what they do , BEFORE they have children. Of course if you have a child it is going to be an 18 year commitment at least
If you don't want that, dont have a child. Dont have a child and then regret it, and make that child suffer.

I’m so sorry that this was your experience.

For clarification, our children were much wanted and much loved. They know that. They’ve been told that hundreds of times throughout their lives. We are still close to them, love spending time with them (we regularly have holidays with our adult children) and we are privileged to call them our friends as well as our children. I never wanted a different life and neither did DH. We poured ourselves into being the best parents we could be and despite the many mistakes we made along the way, they have emerged as wonderful, independent, interesting adults who we love dearly.

However, now that they are old enough to make their own way we are thoroughly enjoying this new season for all that it offers, just as they are enjoying their lives independent of us. As I said, we gave parenting our all, (happily) made plenty of sacrifices along the way and spent many years focussing on giving them the best life and opportunities that we could. We don’t have to do that any more and we are enjoying being able to spend our time and money doing what we want. I don’t see that as a problem, or sad. In fact I’d be more worried if we were still running around after them and propping them up like we did when they were youngsters.

Again, I’m really sorry that you didn’t experience this yourself. I’m sure those wounds go deep. Take really good care of yourself 💐

MissusSimonNeil · 11/05/2026 14:00

Scarlettjune · 11/05/2026 13:30

This thread makes me feel sad. Its all about how happy you are now that your children are gone. What about how the children feel?

I am the daughter of a mother who always told me that she regretted having children. She wanted a different life. My father also found having children too much of a responsibility , and abandoned us when he met another woman.

My life was a misery from start to now.

Why oh why don't people put more thought into what they do , BEFORE they have children. Of course if you have a child it is going to be an 18 year commitment at least
If you don't want that, dont have a child. Dont have a child and then regret it, and make that child suffer.

I'm so very sorry that you were treated how you were in your childhood, but from what I've seen on this thread barely anyone that's posted has said they regret having children, or wished they didn't have any. Far from it. Almost all of us have said how much we love our children. Most of us will have given the best part of our adult lives making sure our children are healthy, happy, confident, functioning members of society. All we now feel is entitled to a little 'me time'. I don't see why you feel entitled to tar us all with the same brush as your parents.

And as for how my children feel - not once have I ever told them I'm happy they've moved out. They get nothing but genuine love and warmth from me. Not all of us are as selfish and vindictive as you describe your mother.

abracadabra1980 · 11/05/2026 14:09

After an initial wobble, mainly due to other non-related family issues, as a single parent/person, I have never been happier. I have downsized to a semi rural area, which is where my heart always belonged, and feel rejuvenated as I plod round fields and paths and watch nature change and unfold. I nearly moved 100 miles away but am now only 10 mins from each DC. I'm glad I made this decision but once they are past baby stage in their lives, I may just move out even more rurally again, health depending. I absolutely love it.

Cheese55 · 11/05/2026 14:11

Florally · 01/05/2026 21:44

wow, I can’t imagine feeling like this. I’m dreading them going - I worry constantly how sad I’m going to feel. I love their company so much and we do so much together, cooking, movies etc.

Did you worry and were surprised by feeling this happy when you did?

I dont value a tidy house above the value of my children

Cheese55 · 11/05/2026 14:13
  • so no I haven't enjoyed her not being here. I didn't care that her room was a tip. Just close the door!
familyissues12345 · 11/05/2026 14:19

Yes!! We’re not quite empty nesters yet, 17 year old still to head off to Uni next year, but I’m loving this stage. DS1 graduating, making plans to move in with his GF, talking about the future and us not having to rush around for any of it! It’s lovely…

TheChiffchaff · 11/05/2026 15:22

Scarlettjune · 11/05/2026 13:30

This thread makes me feel sad. Its all about how happy you are now that your children are gone. What about how the children feel?

I am the daughter of a mother who always told me that she regretted having children. She wanted a different life. My father also found having children too much of a responsibility , and abandoned us when he met another woman.

My life was a misery from start to now.

Why oh why don't people put more thought into what they do , BEFORE they have children. Of course if you have a child it is going to be an 18 year commitment at least
If you don't want that, dont have a child. Dont have a child and then regret it, and make that child suffer.

I think you've misunderstood the thread. Perhaps you have little children and not a houseful of late teens early 20s?
Virtually every post celebrates the joys of their children. We are talking about adult children who have left the family home and what it's like for the parents in an empty nest. I was bereft at first but now I don't miss the chaos , of family life. I still adore it when they come back to stay from time to time, bringing all that noise and mess back briefly but I don't cry when they go now.

Isseywith2witchycats · 11/05/2026 15:37

Yep I love my children and grandchildren and they are welcome to visit whenever they like but it's so peaceful when they go back to their own homes, they also phone regularly and I phone them , I can watch what I want on telly and as bikers we can go to rally and bike shows, gigs etc without having to consider anyone but ourselves, the nearest son also comes over and looks after the cats when we are on holiday

Chunkychips23 · 11/05/2026 15:39

I’m in my late 30’s with two toddlers, so I’m a way off yet. I’m wondering if I’ll feel that way, as I had my 20’s and 30’s without kids or a messy husband, so don’t feel like I’ve lacked in the ‘me time’ department. Though I have two boys close in age, so by the time they’re late teens, I might feel differently 🤣

FrenchandSaunders · 11/05/2026 15:54

I missed them at first, but you do get used to the peace and the tidiness.

One is on her way back very soon though. Let's see how that goes, both for her and us 😁

SusanChurchouse · 11/05/2026 16:24

I’m not sure I’ll ever be a classic empty nester. Younger child is disabled and might need to live with us a lot longer than many children. But I also want to move once they have finished school as there would be little tying us to the area we live now. So we may move but take him with us, depending on what he wants to do after school. So I think I’ll never experience living in my current house without kids here.

SlumChum · 11/05/2026 16:34

My primary aged DC talk about when they get married and have children, and how they'll ALL live together in OUR house! I'm gently laying the groundwork by saying 'I'll always love you, even when you're a big grown up IN YOUR OWN HOUSE' 😂

Everleigh13 · 11/05/2026 16:38

Scarlettjune · 11/05/2026 13:30

This thread makes me feel sad. Its all about how happy you are now that your children are gone. What about how the children feel?

I am the daughter of a mother who always told me that she regretted having children. She wanted a different life. My father also found having children too much of a responsibility , and abandoned us when he met another woman.

My life was a misery from start to now.

Why oh why don't people put more thought into what they do , BEFORE they have children. Of course if you have a child it is going to be an 18 year commitment at least
If you don't want that, dont have a child. Dont have a child and then regret it, and make that child suffer.

None of the people have said they didn’t want their children. They’ve mostly said they love their children immensely but are pleased to have some time for themselves. When you’ve put everything into loving and caring for your children for over two decades it is normal to enjoy having a bit more time to focus on yourself and not having to clean or cook for others etc.

KojaksLollipop · 11/05/2026 16:43

Ohhhh it's bliss I love it!

I adore the very bones of my DC, never have I ever regretted having them. They have been the absolute centre of my world for 24yrs... them moving out doesn't change that. They can come home whenever they want, and they do. I love being with them and make sure they know it. I just love the peace and quiet and creating a new life for myself, it's exciting.

Plus, I remember when I moved out, first just for uni but I only came back for a few weeks after uni before I moved out again. It's a very exciting time of life, and I'm excited for my DC. It isn't all about me, it's about them setting off into life and I get to watch them shine.

RampantIvy · 13/05/2026 06:29

Everleigh13 · 11/05/2026 16:38

None of the people have said they didn’t want their children. They’ve mostly said they love their children immensely but are pleased to have some time for themselves. When you’ve put everything into loving and caring for your children for over two decades it is normal to enjoy having a bit more time to focus on yourself and not having to clean or cook for others etc.

Show quote history

I agree with this. We are older parents, and DH has had some very serious health issues. It was of the utmost importance to us that DD learned how to be independent. I love it when she comes home to visit. She is great company and we like doing stuff together.

Failure to launch would have been one of my greatest fears for her.

curious79 · 13/05/2026 06:41

This thread makes me feel sad. Its all about how happy you are now that your children are gone. What about how the children feel?

@Scarlettjune I think you’ve completely missed the point of most posts in this thread. Indeed, several posters talk about how they love their children to bits and wouldn’t have any other way, but that they are enjoying some of the newfound freedoms and lack of chaos not having children around brings.

We are close to being an empty house, but it also coincides with a time when i have less energy and my job is changing. It’s a time of amazing potential re-growth for people in the next stage of their lives. This isn’t about loving or not loving your children, and I don’t think it makes any of us less suitable parents if we love the space and quiet their departure brings.

I’m sorry for your circumstances.

Su1rlie · 13/05/2026 06:53

Scarlettjune · 11/05/2026 13:30

This thread makes me feel sad. Its all about how happy you are now that your children are gone. What about how the children feel?

I am the daughter of a mother who always told me that she regretted having children. She wanted a different life. My father also found having children too much of a responsibility , and abandoned us when he met another woman.

My life was a misery from start to now.

Why oh why don't people put more thought into what they do , BEFORE they have children. Of course if you have a child it is going to be an 18 year commitment at least
If you don't want that, dont have a child. Dont have a child and then regret it, and make that child suffer.

It’s normal and healthy to enjoy the empty nest years. It’s as it should be and why I think the teenage years can be so hard. They prepare you so both sides are ready and crave independence.

I adore my children,they know they’re loved and will always have a home year but boy am I ready for them to spread their wings. We’re nearly there.

Zippidydoodah · 13/05/2026 07:01

I can’t wait, to be honest. Adore them of course.

my friend told me she can’t wait for her son to go to uni and that’s it, he isn’t coming back! They’ve saved all his life and will probably buy him a property when he does. I thought that was a little extreme, but fair enough.

Zippidydoodah · 13/05/2026 07:02

Su1rlie · 13/05/2026 06:53

It’s normal and healthy to enjoy the empty nest years. It’s as it should be and why I think the teenage years can be so hard. They prepare you so both sides are ready and crave independence.

I adore my children,they know they’re loved and will always have a home year but boy am I ready for them to spread their wings. We’re nearly there.

Show quote history

This. Saying that we want the quiet years does not mean we don’t love and want our children. I would never tell them I don’t want them.

Boomer55 · 13/05/2026 07:03

Yep. I did. Practically did cartwheels around the house. 😂

RampantIvy · 13/05/2026 07:32

I feel sorry for the women (it's always the women) who sob all summer at the thought of their DC going off to university. I simply don't understand it.

Of course I felt apprehensive about DD going - would she be lonely, would she cope with the course, would she make friends etc, but crying all summer over it is ridiculous. I was so excited for her to start the next chapeter in her life.

Zippidydoodah · 13/05/2026 07:34

I don’t think my dd is going to go to uni, but yes I will be nothing but delighted for her as I know how much fun and what a wonderful experience she’d have.

because she is the oldest of four, I will miss her loads as she is the one who keeps me sane!