Anyone else quite enjoy the Empty Nest?

[hoardingwealth]

Love my kids to bits. Obviously! But I’m quite enjoying this next stage, where they have moved out and are making their own lives. The house is quiet, peaceful, tidy. There are no school runs or jobs that come with having kids at home. I’m sitting here now, watching a documentary with wine, knowing that no one needs picking up from anywhere. I’m enjoying this peaceful phase of life. Anyone else?

I'll let you know if ever happens😂.........late 60s and two 30+ year olds upstairs, they come and go but to date I have never lived on my own to know whether I'd like it or not🤷 one lives abroad though and only see at xmas, definitely wouldn't like it if they all did🤔

My DC moving to Australia (or any other country) is one of my worst nightmares to be honest. I have them 18-20 miles away and see them 2-3 times a month, and can't imagine having them on the other side of the world/in another country. I love knowing they are close and I can be there for them if they need me, and vice versa.

Slightly different but similar story.. My neighbour who is 35, had her parents move abroad (3000 miles away) 2 years ago, and it has basically wrecked the relationship. She is deeply resentful and angry that they have left her alone with 2 small children (aged 3 & 4,) when she needed them most. I know she should be able to take care of them herself (and she does, with 'help' from her DH occasionally!) but the parental support that her peers have isn't there, so she feels cheated of the support.

She has basically cut them from her life. They made a plan to visit over late December/Christmas, and she and her DH and the 2 DC went on holiday from 18th to 30th December, basically for the whole time they were here. (Her parents stayed at a Travelodge.) It was so awkward. They didn't even know she had gone, and kept popping around to see where she (and her DH and the kids) were. (They came 19th December, then 20th, then 22nd...) On the third visit, a neighbour told them they'd all gone away til New year. (My neighbour knew when her parents were coming and deliberately went away the day before....)

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ME! I love my kids to bits but I’m proud that they are independent and thriving and I am happy to be in this more selfish phase now.

I think my middle DS may eventually leave home but the other two need much more care. I'm unlikely to ever have a situation where I'm not looking after someone.

I love having my children and grandchildren visit, but my empty nest is lovely and I have a library 😀

I love my children to bits and enjoy spending time with them, however it’s lovely having the empty nest. Both my children left to go to uni and never came back “home” after graduation which is as it should be. My eldest emigrated and now lived on the other side of the world but we do chat regularly and are fortunate that we can afford to visit and they too can come here. My youngest lives locally and we see him quite often. We’re not in each others pockets but they know we’re here if they need us.

When my kids were 16 I rather dreaded the empty nest.

but then one got ill and delayed a levels and the other took a gap year after getting no uni offers and once one had finally gone off to uni the ill one got a it better and restarted her education and then the one at uni finished and came back for a bit while he worked out what he was going to do and then the other one got ill again and repeated a uni year from home…. And and and

so anyway the youngest is now 25 and finally moving out. And frankly now I am very very happy about it, not least because there has been so much (genuine) drama over the last few years that frankly I could do with peace and quiet.

Yanbu to enjoy it at all. Good for you!

I am not struggling with the empty nest - I've adapted to dd being away easily enough. But I do really miss her and love it when she comes home. I only have one dc though, and she is fabulous company.

I’m one down and one to go. Can’t wait even though I love them desperately. My youngest seems to be the epicentre of so much drama in her friendship group that I just don’t have the energy to deal with it anymore. I’m looking forward to just me and the dog. Then I remember I’ve got a golden retriever and realise that’s a whole other level,of drama 🤯

Then I remember I’ve got a golden retriever and realise that’s a whole other level,of drama

😂

Same with me. She doesn’t contact us, barely responds to WhatsApps. Shes fine when we do go and see her. I certainly don’t think she’s gone no contact or even low contact. Went to see her today. First time dh has seen her in over six months. Shes happy enough to get taken out for lunch, etc. I keep telling myself that at her age she’s just busy/wrapped up in her own life. I don’t think I thought about my parents at all at her age, they were just a bit of a non entity.

I did get a puppy when Dd left home so that’s kept me occupied 🤣

I was 22/23 when I had Dd. If she’d gone to un8 at 18yo I’d have been an empty nester at 41 I think. I must admit I did like getting my life back in my late 30s as she was more independent.

We never really had an empty nest! When the oldest DC went to Uni the youngest was still at home. By the time the youngest went, one of the oldest had moved back. Over the following decades we hosted DC and partners at various times, a couple of the DC friends when they were between homes, my DIL’s sister and brother at different times and my niece for a few weeks. We’re in our mid seventies now and have very recently downsized, and while I love the new set up, I miss the hustle and bustle of a busy home.

I was 46 and DH was 43, by the time both kids had left home. That was 10 years ago now!

My son moved out 6 years ago, my daughter just 4 months ago...
Have got used to my son not being here. DD lives 5 minutes away. I miss her......but she has ADHD....so I absolutely don't miss her mess!

Love them to bits. Twin DDs both at university, so peace and quiet at home. Less washing, less food, house is tidier (would be even tidier if DP moved out too!) Lovely to see them at Christmas, Easter and the summer.

Here’s the rub though, they’re both threatening to come back home when they graduate to study for a Masters at a London university.

Ah well, it was nice while it lasted.

@Zov Wow, that’s awful! So that woman’s parents raised their kids and sent them out into the world as independent adults living their lives, and then the daughter is so entitled that she has cut them off for following their own dreams when she’s in her 30s??? Jesus! She seriously needs to have a word with herself!

I do now but it took a while.
I struggled a bit when the second went to uni. We also had about 9 years when they bounced back for uni holidays, for a few months looking for jobs, covid or between flats .
Both properly in their own houses now and I am used to the peace and tidiness.
It's great when they visit, one comes over for the odd weekend and the lives half an hour away but very full on. We had DC later in life and are busy enjoying retirement now.

I had mine very young, so I'm only mid 40s and have moved house with none of them! I do have one at uni though, it's quite odd when he comes back, so used to the peace and quiet and clean toilet and not having to wait for the bathroom.

He can cook though so that's nice when he's about, plus he's good company 😍
Not sure if he'll come back permanently after uni but there's a bedroom for him if he wants to.
But my god, I LOVE not living with them anymore 😳

We loved it for the whole year it lasted. They are all home again for various reasons and we suspect at least one is here for a very long time to come. Enjoy it while you can!

Love it!!

We love it. No mess, no drama, no squabbling between them. We thought they’d all finally settled last year then one had a relationship breakdown and moved back home, he’s finally gone again so harmony is restored once more. I love them all dearly but love having the house to ourselves more ha ha ha.

Pinkissmart ·
Me. I live on my own.
So many people think I’m a sad creature who needs someone to look after to be fulfilled.

Whereas in fact you are a strong, self sufficient and quietly powerful woman of whom those who critcise are deeply jealous.

We've been empty nesters for the last 8 months and at first it was odd but we rapidly grew to love it. Still bananas, yoghurt, eggs, berries when we go to eat them (both my son's snack on these constantly, my husband had to hide fruit in a cupboard so there was some left for his lunches), no frying of food when I have just cleaned the kitchen, toilets are flushed and lights are turned off.

My boys are not deliberately thoughtless, they help around the house when they are here, they are kind and funny, and very loving. But boys make a mess. And it's 4 adults in a house not 2 which makes a massive difference.

Since we've been alone it's very peaceful, just our rhythm, We've been going out for Sunday lunch together, picking a new pub each time, if we did that with our adult sons every week it would be prohibitively expensive as they eat twice as much as we do

Eldest is back now after a job finishing and he's being very respectful and tidy but it does change the dynamic.

I would HATE it if either of them moved abroad. 😕