AIBU to be baffled a mum had no idea the school fayre was happening?

[xAwaywiththefairiesx]

Today my daughter's primary school had a spring fayre after school on the school field. Ice cream van, face-painting, various stalls with games, the usual. All arranged by the PTA to raise money for the school.
There was a mufti day today, and the children were asked to bring a donation to the school as an exchange for the mufti, something like cakes to sell or a teddy for the tombola or a bottle of wine as a prize or something.
One mum wanders onto the field after school, with both of her kids in mufti, looking around bewildered saying "What's this? Is this a new thing they're doing? Will it be every week?"

And this is so weird to me because the spring fayre has been organised for months. We have lots of emails asking for donations, several more asking for volunteers, we've had at least three leaflets home about it, and she obviously got the memo about mufti, the whole point in which was for the school fayre!

My phone own child has been banging on about it for three weeks.

How can she get so unaware? I'm not judging, honestly, I'm just baffled how it got past her.

Is it just me? Could you miss something like this after all that communication?

Hate the word mufti but at least it is a word. Fayre on the other hand...

Isn't that because internet searches are skewed towards U.S. centric cultural references not British. We are erasing our (British) own culture. I grew up in the 80s and 90s and believe me my parents, Dad in particular was very keen on resisting this influence which he complained to was subliminally impacting us via TV like MTV or reality shows.

Fayre 'is' a word- are you British?

@Thechaseison71just like black people were once dubbed “looking to be offended” when they complained of the use of the N word, I imagine.

Entirely irrelevant whether or not it was during your lifetime or not.

Believe what you like: its origins ARE offensive.

Maybe her husband does all the school admin and forgot to mention it. Interesting how we're all piling onto the mum. The child has two parents, presumably.

Its “origins”? That doesn’t mean anything. You have to want to be offended to find ‘mufti’ objectionable.

Either the term is offensive in use or it isn’t. And it isn’t.

I frequently miss things and had to google mufti. 😁

Whats mufti?

The ones who do this at our school, and ask daft things in the WhatsApp group like 'what do the kids need to take on the residential' on the morning that they're going, are ALWAYS without fail the ones who don't work

My goodness, imagine not realising that the school fayre was on! 😱😱😱

I'm 58 and I've never heard of it being offensive either. Which, before anyone starts, isn't to say it's not considered offensive now. Merely that not everyone has heard this.

I do not have the bandwidth to absorb all the crap that comes out of school. I don't even open the weekly newsletter. I have a mentally really demanding job and feel I've won if everyone is up dressed fed and going about their business. All the clique-y pta stuff doesn't get the time of day in my head! We usually know its a mufty day but mine have been known to turn up in uniform once or twice and no shits were given! I just want to know they're doing well at what they need to learn, and behave and are happy. Everything else is just noise.

I hate the word "baffled". So overused now, also see "wild".

This thread is only the second time in my life I have met with the word "mufti".

The first time was when I was on the bus taking my precious first born to primary school and a fellow parent also taking her child to school asked me, "is next Friday a mufti day?" Unfortunately, between her speaking English as a second language, and me having a narrow vocabulary, it took a while for her to get through to me what a mufti day was.

Once we'd cleared the matter up, I checked the school app, and found out it was indeed a non-uniform day next Friday.

100% agree OP! So much work and effort goes into these events, when people moan or call it ‘pointless shit’ it’s insulting - without a PTA children wouldn’t get half the fun and educational things they get so more thanks and less insults thank you!

Honestly, get over yourself.

Grand, but if your child gets run over by a bus and needs a brain surgeon to save its life, then I imagine you would be pleased that that lady had put ‘work and effort’ into learning how to be a brain surgeon. And you wouldn’t be faux baffled that some people can’t or don’t prioritise a ‘fayre’ over other things. And you wouldn’t be giving that brain surgeon ‘more thanks and less insults’ for having her focus on other things than the aforementioned fayre. Which I can’t even spell because it’s not so much a word as a sound.

I bet you would think ‘no wonder Melissa’s mother forgot about the fayre, she’s got a lot on her plate’ Rather than ‘I can’t understand why this woman didn’t know about the fayre.

A Mufti is an Islamic Scholar who can issue a Fataw‘s (legal opinion)

I have genuinely never heard of a non uniform day being called a mufti day?????

Not only from the many schools I went to, but also the schools my daughters attended/ go to.

At Primary School there was at least one non uniform day/ dress up day a month for my children and they happened for all sorts of reasons, raise money for new books, support different charities, celebration of historic events etc…

Oh but you’re “not judging”?

I not only missed the memo that the school was closed for polling day, I took my 5 year old daughter, left her in the playground and went to work 🤦‍♀️ Fortunately, her infant school was attached to the junior school so they were able to get my contact details and look after her until I arrived back.

So yes, people do miss things.

No you didn’t, you wrote a snotty post because some other mother hadn’t appreciated all your impressive Queen Mummy PTA efforts, and invited people to agree with you that she’s a clueless idiot/irresponsible parent and you’re great. Those that didn’t you fought with, including a bizarre “yes all PTA are c*nts” outburst. Shake it out however you like, that’s the truth. Basic toxic martyr stuff. Gold star for you and your PTA.

This!! I think sometimes parents are bombarded by so many messages/ emails/ letters from school on a daily basis that some notifications do get missed/ forgotten about, especially if you have more than one child and each child attending different schools.
I have been guilty of sending my child to school on an inset day simply because I missed the reminder notification which was buried among many other notifications from school.

However, some parents just either seem completely oblivious to everything that goes on at school or simply do not care.
I once went to watch a Xmas play which was a joint class play and where the mum of a child didn’t know what class her child was actually in to know where to seat herself for the best view of her child, yet their child had been in that same class for the last 4 months and bearing in mind she was the one who did the majority of drop offs and pick ups!! She had to ask another parent with a child in the same class which class her child was in.

I did used to also get sick and tired of the same 2 parents posting on facebook asking “is it non uniform today?”, or “when do the kids break up” or “when is it inset day?” Or “When do the kids go back to school?”.

Aah okay well done, if you’d stated that at the beginning then you would have had far fewer than 67% of respondents thinking you were being unreasonable.

Best post, thank you!