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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you leave a 2 year old with older siblings for hours?

73 replies

Wouldcou · 01/05/2026 12:11

Would you leave 4 children age 16, 15, 11 and 2 alone to go to the gym. It will take 3-4 hours due to public transport?

Mostly the issue is with the 2 year old I have left the other three together before to go shopping. Have never left the 2 year old.

OP posts:
Bournetilly · 01/05/2026 12:13

In an emergency or as a one off yes but not for 3-4 hours to go to the gym, I think 1 hour would be ok but not 3-4.

YSianiFlewog · 01/05/2026 12:13

Yes, if the 16 year old was happy to look after the 2 year old.

When you leave the older three, you're just leaving them. You need to ask the 16 year old to babysit the 2 year old.

Nofeckingway · 01/05/2026 12:16

Unless there is a nap involved I think it's a lot . Is there no nearer gym for you . That's a long way to travel.

Original poster
Wouldcou · 01/05/2026 12:16

I would make sure the 16 and 15 year old take charge. The 11year old is the 2 year old favourite. I want to start going to the gym once a week but don’t have any childcare and I don’t know what is legal or responsible.

I know some people get tees that are not related to be babysitters so surely a 16 year old sibling is better than that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wouldcou · 01/05/2026 12:17

It’s two buses then an hour at the gym then two buses back. 3-4 hours would be the max time if there was traffic

OP posts:
tealandteal · 01/05/2026 12:18

Is there no closer gym? Or can they watch the child while you workout at home? I think the 16yo can watch the 2yo but 3-4 hours in the day seems a bit long.

saveforthat · 01/05/2026 12:18

If your 16 year old is happy to do this and knows what to do, why not?

kdoia · 01/05/2026 12:21

No, sorry. What does the 16 year old do if there's an emergency. Your 2 year old is too young to be left IMO.

lanthanum · 01/05/2026 12:21

I think it needs to be very clear which older sibling is in charge of the 2 year old. (My sister and I used to divide the time between us when left to babysit our siblings, as we argued otherwise, but with a toddler a more serious worry is that each gets engrossed in something and neither notices a potentially dangerous situation.)

Eenameenadeeka · 01/05/2026 12:21

Id say work out at home as well. I wouldn't go that far away just for the gym. How responsible are the older 2?

HortiGal · 01/05/2026 12:21

Of course a 16 yr old can look after siblings, remember on MN people don’t leave their kids until they’re 25 😀

Original poster
Wouldcou · 01/05/2026 12:24

I’m trying to do it at home but I don’t have the space or enough equipment. I’m maxed out at a 30kg barbell

OP posts:
dalmationtux · 01/05/2026 12:24

I wouldn’t but then I never left my elders to babysit - they do it now they are independent adults but when they lived at home I placed no expectations on them at all to look after siblings. It seems like a huge time out of one of the weekend days too, would the older kids just be expected to stay at home so you could take 4 hours to go for a workout? Add to that once a week at the gym is probably a waste of you own time, it’s not going to give you much progress and you would be far better doing gone workouts and brisk walking with the 2 year old in buggy more regularly.

dalmationtux · 01/05/2026 12:25

HortiGal · 01/05/2026 12:21

Of course a 16 yr old can look after siblings, remember on MN people don’t leave their kids until they’re 25 😀

They can, but should they be expected to is the question really. I don’t think so. Mine were always busy at weekends and evenings during the teen years, expecting them to give up 4 hours for a trip to the gym is excessive imo.

Womblingmerrily · 01/05/2026 12:26

I think the issue is the duration - 3/4 hrs is a long time.

If it was for something essential - hospital appointment I think it would be different.

You can definitely work out without this length of time -doesn't need to be a gym. You can work out at or near home and then if there is an issue, you are available.

Yes a 16 year old can babysit a 2 year old - as long as they are happy to do this and you have talked them through emergency situations. I did babysit at this age and younger but I was aware that the parents were a phone call away and would have been back within 15-30 minutes in an emergency - it doesn't sound like you could do this.

Dalmationday · 01/05/2026 12:26

I think leaving just the 16 yo in charge (it needs to be one clear person) for 1-2 hours would be absolutely fine. I babysat babies in my village at that age.
for 3-4 hours is the 16 yo happy for that? I think you could consider paying them as proper job.

Original poster
Wouldcou · 01/05/2026 12:26

dalmationtux · 01/05/2026 12:24

I wouldn’t but then I never left my elders to babysit - they do it now they are independent adults but when they lived at home I placed no expectations on them at all to look after siblings. It seems like a huge time out of one of the weekend days too, would the older kids just be expected to stay at home so you could take 4 hours to go for a workout? Add to that once a week at the gym is probably a waste of you own time, it’s not going to give you much progress and you would be far better doing gone workouts and brisk walking with the 2 year old in buggy more regularly.

Yes you’re probably right I don’t think it will be enough and it’s such a long time. Oh well, I will try and get a bench and some more weights maybe get the to take her to the park for an hour.

OP posts:
Sartre · 01/05/2026 12:27

I was 17 when I had my eldest and perfectly responsible as a parent. Having said that, I’m not sure I’d leave my now 16 yo alone with a a 2 year old for hours just because, as lovely and intelligent as he is, he has very little common sense. Guess it depends on how trustworthy the 16yo is but also how happy they are to help.

I’d be looking for a closer gym for starters, that one sounds mega far away. Do you live rurally or something? Also some gyms have crèches.

usernamemustnotcontainspecialcharacters · 01/05/2026 12:28

No. My mum did this. I was extremely mature, but the responsibility was too much and I got overwhelmed. The gym isn’t a necessity. You need to parent your children.

Cantthinkofanewusernameffs · 01/05/2026 12:29

Is it in the evening, when the 2 year old is in bed or during the day?

If in the evening, then yes.
If during the day, I'd start with a shorter period and build up to 3/4 hours. It's a long time if you haven't left the 2 year old before. And if it's two buses, it doesn't sound like you would be able to get home quickly if the children aren't coping.

Original poster
Wouldcou · 01/05/2026 12:30

Sartre · 01/05/2026 12:27

I was 17 when I had my eldest and perfectly responsible as a parent. Having said that, I’m not sure I’d leave my now 16 yo alone with a a 2 year old for hours just because, as lovely and intelligent as he is, he has very little common sense. Guess it depends on how trustworthy the 16yo is but also how happy they are to help.

I’d be looking for a closer gym for starters, that one sounds mega far away. Do you live rurally or something? Also some gyms have crèches.

I was pregnant at 16 and had a newborn at 17 but my 16 year old isn’t the same person I was so it’s hard for me to see what he is capable of. He has asked me if I would ever let him babysit or take her out but he feels like a child to me still. I was a lot more independent. Is it sexist to say that maybe if he was a girl I would feel like he was more responsible?

OP posts:
Womblingmerrily · 01/05/2026 12:31

I don't know if this is true of others, but when I babysat as a teenager I knew several adults who would have been available for advice in an emergency or to come and help - pretty much immediately so direct neighbours etc.

Do you have family members or close neighbours who would be available to help in this situation @Wouldcou

Itiswhatitizz · 01/05/2026 12:33

If the gym was closer I'd say go for it, but an hours travel away? Absolutely not. If there was an emergency you wouldn't be able to get back quickly.

Surely there's a closer gym? There's 4 in my area, furtherest being a 30 min walk away

MulberryFresser · 01/05/2026 12:34

My mum goes to a gym that’s an hour away by bus (she takes two buses) but 8 mins drive in the car. Is there any way you can shorten the journey to the gym? Get a bike and cycle?

movinghomeadvice · 01/05/2026 12:36

I think it’s too long to leave the 2 year old, and 3-4 hours for a gym session is a really long time.

Some options:

  • look into super compact squat rack set ups. Some can even be folded away as long as you can store the barbell and weights
  • a gym closer perhaps?
  • im not in the UK, but garage gyms are super popular here. Do you have any neighbours or friends close by who have a gym set up you could use? A lady in my parents’ street lets neighbours use hers for a small fee.
  • focus on dumbbells and invest in a good, adjustable, compact set.

We have a (very small!) home gym with just a weight bench and we manage. However, it’s true that you max out on the weights pretty quickly. We also can’t do certain movements, like a barbell squat, because there is literally not enough space to max out safely.