Neighbour complained about 9 month old

[wrinklycactus]

My 9 month old is going through a phase where he kicks his legs a lot when he's lying on his back. He can't crawl yet so he spends all his time either sitting or rolling around/ lying.

We're in a flat and he does bang the floor quite a lot as he's kicking... but he has a thick rug and a thick playmat under him. Our downstairs neighbours have complained, but I'm really not sure what else I can do about this.

We spend a lot of time out in the park etc but sometimes obviously we are at home. It's never at night time, he goes to bed at 7 and sleeps through til 6.30.

Early in the morning I try to stop him doing it or put a pillow under him but I don't think it's really fair to try and restrict him like that every single time during the day because he can't roll easily when there's a pillow in the way.

It's also a phase that will probably pass as soon as he can crawl.

What would you do in this situation... AIBU to just try and minimise it early in the morning and go out as much as we can, but otherwise leave him to it?

Tell the downstairs neighbour if they want no noise from a flat above them then they need to move out of flats and into a property with no upstairs neighbours. They are being ridiculous and you are doing what you can.

Don't feel you have to leave your property during daylight hours for fear of annoying them. Your life is difficult enough as it is, the noise isn't at unsociable times.

Your neighbours are being ridiculous. They cannot possibly expect to live in a flat and never hear noise from above, and what you're describing isn't excessive noise. If you had a five-year-old who was running up and down and jumping off furniture all day, I'd say you were being unreasonable, but a baby kicking its legs? Absolutely fine. You can't stop that kind of noise, it's normal.

Kicky legs! If they complain again just say you have put rugs down for soundproofing and there's nothing else you can do, it's normal noise happening during the day. It's only going to get worse as he learns to walk and run so you might as well nip it in the bud now and explain that you have soundproofed and that's that.

You are talking about a child playing. It's not bare wood flooring, you have a rug and a playmat. It's just normal household noise. The neighbours are the ones being unreasonable.

I wonder how the neighbour would respond if you said "Ah, that's my 9 month old kicking as a precursor to learning to walk. What would you suggest I do?"

If you said this is happening at midnight I would call you unreasonable but it’s just normal daytime noise… just a baby learning to crawl.

Did they complain in person to you op? How did the conversation go? Are they known to be miserable buggers?

I think you are doing all you can, and should stay in and go out as you please.

Tell your neighbour you are sorry and have arranged delivery of a crate to keep the creature in.

Also, that if it makes any other noises you can get one of those collars to correct their behaviour too.

🙄

Yanbu kids are noisy unfortunately that's the way it is.
If neighbour doesn't like it they can move.
Bloody hell a baby kicking doesn't even make that much noise, they will be in for a shock when they reach playschool age.

Oh, OP I know I'd just melt if I could hear a little baby was having a lovely time, jiggling about!

It's very odd that they could hear it through a rug and a mat. Put down another rug, I suppose.

It wouldn't bother me one bit, I'd think oh he's awake.
Tell the neighbours if they dont like it they can move out.
He's 9 months not 19.

If these neighbours think your child is noisy at 9 months old, the toddler years and beyond are going to be a shock. Seriously, I would just politely ignore them and go about your day. Your baby is well, a baby. He’s doing something perfectly normal and reasonable development wise. You can’t exactly have a chat with him and ask him to stop.

Wait til he’s actually running about they’re gona love it 🤣 op just ignore, explain it’s your baby playing and as it’s during the daytime hours there’s not a fat lot you can do !

Thanks - I do feel a bit sorry for them as they have babies living above and below, and didn't when they moved in. I have also been on the other end of noisy neighbours and really struggled (but they were rude and awful, not just people with kids!)

I do think baby/ children noise is just life?!

Indeed! Send me a DM with your address, OP, so I can buy the baby a drum!

Put a note through their door explaining the noise, ask for their suggestion as to what you could do. If they don't have fussy downstairs neighbours they might not be aware of how noise travels. Don't do out because of them, enjoy your home and baby. It's going to get noisier when he's toddling about so they'll need to learn to cope.

Yeah in person, first they asked if we were having work done (but I think it would have been obvious it was baby making the noise and this was just an excuse to start the convo).

I said no it's our 9 month old, sorry, it will probably be over in a few weeks when he can crawl.

They were just like "Oh ok..." and that was the end.

But then my DH bumped into the wife in the hall and apologised and she was a bit sniffy/ passive aggressive about it.. in a sort of "ugh whatever, I suppose it's fine" sort of way.

Always got on with them before this! I do get it especially a childless couple with babies above and below them, but feel like I can't do anything, and the first poster has it right that my life is pretty stressful atm anyway! 😅

Haha I was actually gonna buy him a drum as he was loving it at playgroup the other day but now I'm second guessing it 😅

DO it! 😂

It must make a surprising amount of noise in their flat or they wouldn't know that your baby is doing it. Something slightly raised off the floor like a travel cot or playpen might help. It'll be useful too when he's more mobile and you need to keep him safe for a few mins to allow you to do basic things like go to the toilet.

Obviously this is a normal part of living with neighbours/life and they are totally being unreasonable if they expect you to do anything about it - I'm just now curious about the 17% who have apparently voted that YOU are unreasonable, and what they are expecting you to do? Put the baby in a straightjacket? Send him back in the post? 🤣

Just because you can hear noise from another flat when you are living in close quarters does not automatically make it unreasonable! I used to be able to hear my upstairs neighbours just walking and it sounded as loud as drums sometimes, nothing anyone could do about it. They also later had a newborn baby that screamed half the night for about 4 months. It's just life!

I voted YABU to even bother about this! How loud can he possibly be? My baby is most physically able in the morning when well rested so I definitely would not be restricting her at all then. And go out as much as you please, but no more so because of these neighbours. It’s your baby’s home too and he has a right to be there and to learn to move. It cannot be that loud.

I'd put down another mat or two. It's avoidable noise and I can see why constant bang bang bang bang on the ceiling is really annoying for them. If you don't have carpets that's also a good idea, with really thick underlay. It'll be nicer for your baby's knees too!

I wouldn’t let him do it early in the morning before 8am, but during the day I wouldn’t do anything else about it. It’s normal baby noise.