Neighbour complained about 9 month old

[wrinklycactus]

My 9 month old is going through a phase where he kicks his legs a lot when he's lying on his back. He can't crawl yet so he spends all his time either sitting or rolling around/ lying.

We're in a flat and he does bang the floor quite a lot as he's kicking... but he has a thick rug and a thick playmat under him. Our downstairs neighbours have complained, but I'm really not sure what else I can do about this.

We spend a lot of time out in the park etc but sometimes obviously we are at home. It's never at night time, he goes to bed at 7 and sleeps through til 6.30.

Early in the morning I try to stop him doing it or put a pillow under him but I don't think it's really fair to try and restrict him like that every single time during the day because he can't roll easily when there's a pillow in the way.

It's also a phase that will probably pass as soon as he can crawl.

What would you do in this situation... AIBU to just try and minimise it early in the morning and go out as much as we can, but otherwise leave him to it?

That’s normal daytime noise.

ignore them

@wrinklycactus oh boy they're in for a surprise when he starts running around 😅. It's the isolation in the walls that are the problem here so they will just have to move.

Ha wait till he gets to the screaming stage!

How loud can a 9mo really kick?! Wow they’re dramatic!

My neighbour complained about my cat running around. I had a good mind to say I'm so so sorry, I'll tell him off and tell him to use his tiptoes !

at the end of the day it’s the equivalent of banging on the ceiling it’s irrelevant what’s causing it
get a cot mattress or something to put down

tbh I’d be cautious of pissing them off as you can get music at a reasonable level but still disturb u till 10 at night

nobody expects silence but banging on the ceiling is annoying as fuck

Tell your downstairs neighbour to get something else to think about. What's she going to do when he's running about? Dont worry you are doing whst you can don't let her force you out.

I came to say the same.

Toddlers running around in flats is another level - if they are complaining now, it's going to be hellish when he is staggering around and plonking himself down every 5 minutes.

I have some experience of this because we have a holiday home which is on the first floor and a heavy 2yo. The people underneath go mad about it.

Heavy acoustic underly for your rugs will help to some extent but it wont solve the problem (most likely). The only things that actually works is creating a false ceiling and filling the void with insulation. This detaches their ceiling from your floor and stops the experiencing the vibrations. Obviously that's not something you can do, but they could, if they chose to. We lived in a flat that was converted like that and we never heard anything from the people above, on spite of them having wooden floors.

Good luck.

Say “it’s a baby. Now fuck off”

Unless he has bricks for legs I doubt a 9 month old bangs its legs that hard!

How big is this baby if he’s able to make that much noise 😳. Seriously - ignore them! He’s a baby, he’ll stop doing it soon

Having work done in no way sounds like a baby kicking their legs 😅

I've no doubt it's annoying for the neighbours OP but TBF it sounds like you're doing a lot to mitigate the sounds already, all you can really do is keep trying to do that. It's a completely normal part of development and btw, I had a child who kicked and kicked from as soon as she realised she could, people used to comment on it all the time, and now shes involved in an activity that puts those strong legs to good use 🙃

You can't stop him from kicking his legs, but you can try to find other ways to channel it. My daughter's friend had one of those swings suspended from the door frame for years.

They are being ridiculous, you have a baby doing baby stuff. My next door neighbour had 3 little ones, 6, 4 and 2, you should hear them when they get going! I like to think that I am tolerant enough to understand that young lively children make a noise at times and as long as it is not contant it is part of life.

I used to live in a flat beneath a Dutch family. A family member bought their daughter wooden clogs! They had hard flooring. I never complained - I had two children myself. It’s called life.
Perhaps, when your little one can walk you could pop over to the Netherlands for a short break and buy him a little souvenir or two to bring back with him. 😈😈

Tell her you've had stern words with your baby.

Perfect!

Maybe followed up, with the best is yet to come?

I agree with this. They are being a bit ridiculous about the baby making a noise, but overall I don't think it's reasonable to have wooden floors in a flat with people living underneath. (I am assuming that you have wooden floors under the rug). Unless your rugs are really huge and cover most of the floorspace the noise will reverberate down through the floor. Put down fitted carpet

Maybe ask to hear the noise (when someone else is minding the baby obv).
There maybe a solution.

YANU at all!! Infact I think your being really considerate of your neighbours and not many people would be like you are. You shouldn’t feel as though you have to leave your home just to keep them happy, you have enough going on already with a baby.

Like others have said, if they are so conscious of noise then they shouldn’t be living in a flat! It is to be expected.

The noise isn’t going to get any better for them either. Your baby will soon learn to walk and then run, when my little one is running about upstairs, it’s pretty loud downstairs. And then you of course have toddler tantrums, screaming, all the general noise that just comes with having kids. But that isn’t your problem and you’re entitled to live where you are just as much as they are. They either have to deal with it, or move.

It isn’t irrelevant what’s causing it. If OP were banging her floors with a broom on purpose then that would be out of order. A baby banging their legs on the floor can’t be helped, they are a baby ffs. If the neighbour can’t accept there will be some noises around them then they shouldn’t be living in a flat.

This is really unreasonable of them because this is normal noise that you’re trying to keep to a minimum but you in no way should be expected to minimise your little boy from
moving freely as he grows. I agree with PP’s that you be really nice when you see them & sympathise by saying what you do to be as courteous as possible. But that you will not be stopping him from crawling, toddling & learning to walk, run & play. And nor should you be. That they maybe need to revise living in housing where they are only ever going to have neighbour noise on top of them. Their choice not your fault. I suppose you could also consider carpeting main living areas but at the same time that’s a huge outlay, change of how you like your interiors & not nev very child friendly for spills etc. Ultimately it’s not your fault where they’ve chosen to live.

That's just life, nothing to feel sorry for them about. A baby is not loud music, or barking dog, or constant DIY!

If they complain, just say 'He isn't doing anything out of the ordinary'.

dont hush him, just apologise but dont make him be quiet op

It can be managed better having a baby isn’t a green light to be a twat and make your neighbours life miserable
if you can do anything to alleviate it why wouldn’t you

don’t start complaining when your neighbours start hoovering at bedtime then

I’ve had a noisy upstairs neighbour years ago when I lived in a flat, and I’d have given anything for it to have just been a wee one kicking! That’s what healthy babies do, and you’ve done everything reasonable to keep the noise to a minimum. They sound very intolerant.

I love hearing normal life noises! Babies scurrying across the room, dogs jumping about because they’re pleased the owner is home, kids giggling, people saying goodbye to each other coming home from nights out. It makes me feel secure somehow.

You’re doing nothing wrong. Enjoy your baby 💕