AIBU to think about leaving career for an 'easier' job and more time with the kids?

[Swingingtree]

Not sure if this is the right place to open about this but basically, I have been progressing in my career and work full time from home with a company. The job is quite flexible in terms of picking up kids from nursery in case of illness, getting stuff done around the house, logging off on time etc. However, my employer won't allow me to go part-time and my mum guilt is eating me up. DC2 will start nursery full time very soon and I can't bear the thought of it. I've really enjoyed my 2nd mat leave and struggling to accept that I will be paying someone to look after my baby full time. I have been looking at admin council jobs, particularly term time ones, and I am thinking AIBU to want to apply for one of these roles? Or should I wait out the nursery years and just continue working for this company? My current work allows for stress-free mornings, stress-free pick ups, weekends without chores as they all get done during the week but I don't have any time with my babies. I will only see them in the morning and evening and during the weekend. It feels so unnatural. DH thinks I shouldn't feel guilty and that my work will come in handy when DCs are in schools for drop offs and pick ups etc.

I suppose my main concern is missing out on my career progression when the kids are older. Financially, we would afford the pay cut thanks to DH's salary + my salary is not much more than nursery fees. It's such a tricky one but it's all I have been thinking about lately. Would love to hear your stories and/or opinions. TIA xx

My time and memories of the years since my daughter was a toddler are far more valuable to me than the struggle that was toddlerhood. I don’t have many fond memories of that time of our lives. Being at home with two kids of toddler / pre-school age isn’t all it’s cracked up to be for many people.

@Aprilsun2 I don’t understand what you mean by “unnatural”. That sounds quite a pejorative term.

Your DH will still be on a good wage when part time. He could work 3-4 days instead of 5. Why should you sacrifice your career when your husband won’t go part time? Don’t leave your job.

You have a flexible career & WFH
Such roles are becoming increasingly scarce, so I'd think a dozen times before moving to something else.

-Children are expensive
-You would have limited/no flexibility working in an office.
-Consider the impact on your income, your pension, your medium- long term finances
-After the initial change how would you feel about having a job not a career

I'd stick with the current role.

@SpottyDeckchair thank you. These are very eye-opening points and I am welcoming them. I suppose the reason I am here is to be told I am not a bad mum and I should just go back to my job. I also think that DCs won’t feel the difference between 5 days at nursery vs. 4? So I am potentially winding myself up for nothing 🫣

You have the right to request flexible working so think about what you could request eg. 10 days in 9 and take other weekday as annual leave. Also when you go back to work you will have accrued extra annual leave that you can take as a day a week for a while.